Topamax Brain Blast
April 19, 2008 — patientanonymousSo, it’s nice to see you all down there. I always wondered what earth looked like from way up where in I am space right now. It is actually quite realistic from the pictures they show you from the shuttles and all of that. And I’ve finally gotten to experience anti-gravity! I have wanted to do that ever since I was a child! It’s like a dream come true!
*PA laughs*
No, no…I’m just on my bed, typing away on MacBook as you all are thinking. However, I really do feel like I am in outer space or at least in some other…land?
I wanted to post about something else today but shall do that tomorrow–obviously this takes priority as it’s just so…whoa. I mean, Merlin #1 and I? I think we made an interesting decision here!
I took the first 100mg increase of my Topamax/Topiramate last night as I said I would since all of my appointments were done as of yesterday. If memory serves, because my cognitive abilities are extremely screwed right now (will get to that in more detail re: ACs and Topamax) I waited a little bit before taking my Seroquel/Quetiapine before bedtime. Wow, am I glad I made the decision to wait until the weekend!
I didn’t go to bed extremely late last night (did I…?…oh, fucking memory…did I come home and watch a bit of television?) I know I sent off a quick email and that was around 2230hrs. That means I must have gotten home around 2200hrs or so–maybe earlier? The late arrival home was because I called Grocery Man as I thought he would be getting off from work at around the time I would be arriving back in the neighbourhood. I thought it might be nice for a visit. It turned out he was sick with a bit of a cold and had taken the day off but no problem. So we had a visit, listened to some music and had some soup and toast for dinner. It was a rough week so I did get a wee bit tippled on some whisky.
I know. Right on the heels of talking with Prester John (now known as Greybeard) about drinking on Valium. Not to worry, kids. Again, just a bit of relief and relaxation because of all of the stress. However, I will note that initially it did seem to make PA a pretty cheap date. Then it just seemed to move off to…well, who knows? Regular PA drinking? Or maybe there was still some Valium/alcohol combined effect going on? I had taken the 5mg dose early in the morning. *PA shrugs*
So back to the good ol’ Topamax. Indeed, had I taken it the night before last, I don’t even know if I would have been able to make it to my appointment! I have been outside for a tea (not that it’s making a sachet of a difference) and a cigarette and I’ve just been walking around in circles. No, I was almost literally walking around in circles outside! Escher called and knows I’m on another crazy med overhaul and asked if I needed anything as I am obviously incapable of leaving the house right now. I told him that I am fine but might need some milk tomorrow as I am getting low on that. He said to call if so.
You know, speaking of cognitive impairment (I know…I said I’d get there re: the meds…) he’s right fucked. He said he was going back to work and now he’s not and I don’t know! I think he may have forgotten that I loaned him money. It was only sixty bucks/dollars/quid/euros/pounds…whatever you wish. I really don’t care if he pays me back. The funds are now gone from “PA International Mortgage And Loan.” The institution is filing for bankruptcy. Unfortunately, it may turn the world economy into yet another tailspin but that is just how Big Business goes sometimes.
Alright…Topamax and cognitive impairment. I apologize for it taking so long for me to get here but you obviously can understand why?
Now, all meds can come with some generalized side effects based upon their classes which pretty much makes sense–even if we still don’t know exactly how they work on our brains. With ACs, one of the biggies is cognitive impairment (followed by clumsiness!) Why the clumsiness, I’m not sure but the cognitive impairment? Maybe to do with GABA and Glutamic Acid and when it gets turned into Glutamate–a precursor to GABA. GABA is linked to memory? GABA is linked to seizures and the meds are of course Anticonvulsants–originally prescribed for seizures and Epilepsy.
But again, the clumsiness? Maybe if you get so stoopid you bump into things all the time? What bloody neurotransmitter is responsible for being swift and agile?!
Still, they are a very poorly misunderstood class of med and I believe this (at least for one reason) because they are so “multi-purpose.” They are used to treat seizures, Bipolar and migraines! I have always been so interested in possible links between the three–especially since I have them all! Others out there share the comorbidities as well. Maybe not all three but two of them.
I really think that Topamax is the worst in this area–the clumsiness/stoopid business. Some people may disagree. It was probably tied for the hardest hitting side effect for me along with loss of appetite/weight. Then there was the taste perversion (some things just tasted like crap!) and the paraesthesia (I got tingly in my extremeties.) The latter two went away and I did end up gaining a bit more weight and some of my appetite did come back. Also, a little less cognitive impairment but it’s still there (forgetting words: their names, meanings, spellings; I can get lost and turned around so easily, problems with memory…things like that?) Also, I’m on Lamictal/Lamotrigine so what does that have to offer me? I think I am a bit more clumsy now. Maybe a bit more cognitively impaired too? *PA rolls eyes*
Alright, I guess this is long enough. I did manage to write it too instead of just saying, “Hi, the Topamax has done me in. Laters.” And I don’t think there is any need for my Valium today? *laughing* Oh…PA turns into a little puddle on the floor. Unless for some reason I get really anxious about something…
April 19, 2008 at 3:12 pm
i have similar cog.issues with the topomax - especially in the language department, especially when i’m tired. i can’t conjugate verbs… especially in anoher language…
April 19, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Hi Rach, good to see you. Speaking of cognitive impairment (or a surprising lack thereof) I seem to remember you and Topamax. Yes, it’s a whole ball of fun. Nonetheless, I’ll take the trade off if it will work well and keep me stable? Or as stable as I can be?
Take care,
PA
April 19, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Alright alright we’ll all float on
Alright already we’ll all float on
Alright don’t worry even if things end up a bit too heavy
We’ll all float on…alright
Already we’ll all float on
Alright already we’ll all float on, ok
Don’t worry we’ll all float on
Even if things get heavy, we’ll all float on
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kEhooP7h5ik
April 20, 2008 at 10:51 am
Thanks, dw. I loved the magnets at the beginning. I think I need both those and the chorus in combination. Kind of a neat juxtaposition but it certainly fits for me.
xo
April 20, 2008 at 9:33 pm
You know your meds PA but I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if it’s the Valium that’s got you stumbling a bit. Like Monkey Boy noted recently, that shit stays in your system a long time. I know when I used to take them by the handful I stayed black and blue. They’ll also make you crabby but you won’t notice. Others will though.
I hope you’re feeling like a new woman. Have a good week.
April 21, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Hi Greybeard. Actually, I haven’t found that the Valium has made me physically stumbly at all. Maybe just mentally “stumbly?” I’ve been on ACs for years and I know they make me klutzy as all get out. Bruises, bruises, bruises! And I bruise like a peach anyway. Now I just get more of them.
Crabby, huh? I have taken one today and I really don’t feel crabby. Just not motivated but they are supposed to relax you–alleviate your anxiety. You would think that one might be more crabby with their anxiety?
PA’s not really a crabby person, though.
Feeling like a new woman… *laughing* Oh, dear. Well, not quite but thank you for the well wishes anyway.
April 21, 2008 at 7:27 pm
I don’t know what in the hell I was thinking yesterday. I was abusing Valium, big time. 40 mg was where it would start. One night I took 14 blues and drank like a fish. I was professional at 19. What can I say?
More well wishes. Hey, it could be worse. You could be me.
April 21, 2008 at 7:40 pm
Hi Greybeard, it’s okay. One of the side effects of Valium is clumsiness, actually. It could very well be that it could make me fall all over. I’m just not noticing anything.
If need be, they could have knocked me up to a high(er) dose but because I’m already on so many meds they wanted to keep it relatively low. My ACs don’t sedate me but they could others? The one that is (or should be but considering my sleep sucks so much, up that one too!) is the Seroquel.
Don’t worry, I completely understand the meds and drinking like crazy. I’ve been there before!
Are you okay? You sound kind of down by the last part of your comment.
April 21, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Not sure what’s going on PA. I feel really good. But I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in some two weeks. (I’m starting to sympathize with Monkey Boy.) Wound up, big time. Getting cross as hell. Can’t concentrate. I’d give my left nut for a guitar and amp. Haven’t wanted to play, I mean really wanted to, in 15 years. Haven’t touched one in three or four years. But back when I could feel it, and I can feel it tonight, it was so good for my soul.
Might I be a tad manic and a lot depressive? (I’m not kidding.) I’ve never had the wild highs most of y’all have but I have a lengthy history of high energy with little rest and getting myself into impossible situations. Impossible because when my power dissipates I can’t handle much of anything. Like debt or stressful jobs. And the depression - hell I’ve got that down pat minus the psychotic features.
Can one be bipolar and not have experienced psychotic episodes. Are there degrees of psychotic behavior?
I’m sorry. Mind’s gone and going pretty fast.
Take care.
April 22, 2008 at 7:51 am
Hi Greybeard, well, it’s good that you’re feeling good but without sleep…that is kind of worrisome. We all need sleep. It may not be surprising that you are getting cross and can not concentrate either–you are sleep deprived right now!
Imagine if you hadn’t eaten in that long. You might feel the same way? Food and sleep are similar: they both fuel the body or keep it going with the energy that it needs.
One question: have you had episodes like this before? Where you would have fairly lengthy periods with no (or very little) sleep and very high energy, racing thoughts etc…?
Hang on…you sort of answered that in your next paragraph. I think between my illness and my Neo Citran…well, enough said, right? As per my last post, let’s toss in some Valium and see what happens!
As far as Bipolar goes, it comes in many flavours or degrees, my friend. I have always argued that it should be called a “Spectrum Disorder.” That is not quite apt as it is an “illness” and not a “disorder” but those are really semantics. What I am getting at is that it manifests itself in so many ways! There is no template! Not all of us have the same sings/symptoms. No way!
They do have “criteria” that break the Bipolar or Manic Depression diagnoses into to subtypes (eg. Bipolar I, Bipolar II etc…) which does help but even then!
I am/was dx’d BPII but in reality if you were to look at how I cycle it’s not entirely true. I may have started out that way but I’m probably more BP NOS (Not Otherwise Specified) now. The hallmark between BP I and BP II is BP I has way more Mania and BP II has more problems on the Depressive side of things. That was always my problem, true. Depression always kicked my ass more than any (hypo)mania.
And as for psychotic episodes, I have never had one. So no, you needn’t have had any form of psychosis or delusional behaviour. It’s not a pre-requesite *wink*
As far as “degrees” of psychosis? I don’t know if you would call them as such. I think they just “exist.” You either have a form of psychosis or you don’t. Perhaps that is a better word: form. Because any sorts of these things can manifest or come about in many ways there.
You can hallucinate: hear voices, see things. You can be delusional: some people have heightened degrees of paranoia, my mother thinks she’s the Second Coming of Christ! NO! I AM NOT KIDDING! It’s true. She’s never been dx’d though. She doesn’t believe anything is wrong with her.
So, I wouldn’t call those degrees…maybe just differences in form?
EDIT: I just reread this and I said “…degrees of paranoia…” Well, there could be some wiggle room in the “paranoia dept.” I suppose. However, on the whole, really–psychosis is still psychosis; delusions are still delusions, right?
And no need to apologise here…never buddy! All is fine at PA’s pad.
Did any of that help? Maybe you should go speak to your doctor about it. If this has been hanging around for a while, perhaps you should. Or even if it hasn’t, perhaps you should anyway. If it’s been on your mind enough even to mention…maybe a good plan still. What do you think?
Hugs,
PA
April 22, 2008 at 8:08 am
Hi,
It’s the first time I come here.
It’s amazing how this new names psychiatrists use makes people get more and more confused.
“Bipolar”. A person who is depressed for the lost of a dear person can be considered “bipolar”.
What a mess.
Why are you taking Topomax?
This is a terrible drug. It’s hard to withdraw.
April 22, 2008 at 10:24 am
Hi PA - Thanks for info. I feel I should apologize. It’s ongoing.
I’ve been over-medicated before, at least to my way of thinking, but always for the depressive side of things. One of the results was that I got pretty fat. (203 lbs. at 5′8″. I’ve lost 35 pounds since then.) I guess I’m trying to say I’m afraid the doc will make me worse if they tinker with my meds.
On the other hand, I’m getting pretty impulsive.
On the other other hand, I don’t want to upset my family.
Thanks for help. I hope you’re alright.
April 22, 2008 at 11:12 am
Hi Ana Lima, nice to meet you and welcome to my blog. I can tend to agree with you somewhat on the nosology that always seems to occur within medicine on a continual basis. However, we as humans need to forever “classify” our world and our existence in order to make “sense” of things. We always have. But then again, it is not like the field of mental illness isn’t complicated enough?
I had to dig a little bit to pin down exactly when the term “Bipolar Disorder” came into existence. It was in 1980 when it was added to the DSM. I am not sure about “Bipolar Affective Disorder” that is also used. I also do not know about the ICD that is published by the WHO and used more in Europe and other places in the world.
Some people prefer “Bipolar” as opposed to “Manic Depression” in the patient/non-professional world as they feel it carries less stigma. In the professional world? Well, because it may be in the DSM and/or ICD they may use that as well as it is listed as the formal diagnosis.
If you have not been here before, I bitch about the DSM-IV (four meaning its current version…number five is coming though…golly gee, I just can’t wait!) all the time. I feel that it really doesn’t cover enough (even though it is already a huge compendium) and also the physicians! Some just reach for it far too quickly and do not pay enough time listening to their patients. I understand the overworked perspective, the doctors are stressed and understaffed etc… but please. This isn’t a (possible) broken bone that needs a cast. It could be a life long condition that needs constant monitoring and is very serious.
I apologise. I have very strong feelings about this *PA rolls eyes*
I don’t necessarily think that Bipolar might apply to someone who loses a loved one. It could. That may be a possible trigger that could bring out an underlying condition–that being the Bipolar. I strongly believe that Bipolar has been already proven to be a genetic illness. Some people still say that it is not. Perhaps it may be both but in terms of genetic studies, the strongest links have been shown are with Bipolar and Schizophrenia. And these studies have been done over and over with the same or similar results for years. That must show something. At least some sort of connection.
However, with the loss of a loved one, I am partial to a diagnosis of Depression and it may be transient. It may just knock someone for six–for a while. They made need some medication and/or therapy temporarily and be fine after a while. Or they may be in trouble for a longer period…who knows?
My Topamax? Well, I started it for Bipolar but I also have seizures and migraines so it is basically working for all of them, I would say. Anticonvulsants can assist in managing all three. True, some meds can have some difficult discontinuation side effects for some people but I won’t be going off any of my Anticonvulsants (I take Lamictal/Lamotrigine as well.) No, not having the above three issues.
Again, I apologise for the lengthy response but I hope you got your answers and well, I tend to be rather verbose. *grin*
Hi Greybeard, hey, no problem! You sound so much like me! I am constantly apologising for everything!
Well, here are some more thoughts. There really are a lot of meds out there. I don’t know what you were taking, if you tried more or what but if you have an understanding doctor, they should “get it” if you are not happy with the side effects and be willing to try something else if there is something else that is suitable for you.
Worse? Well, there is the “worse” in both physical and mental re: side effects but my philosophy was (and still is) really quite simple. Stop.the.med. I couldn’t believe that no one would listen to me!
This was basically my entire issue with my stims for the ADD. Everyone winging out with me being Bipolar and ME winging out! It was like, if I start cycling: stop.the.med. Guess what? I’m fine!
Which brings me to your impulsivity. Both Bipolar and ADD have a lot in common. So far you have suggested two features. Not being able to sleep because your brain is…well, I call it “buzzy brain” and you are feeling impulsive. You can be both impulsive with Bipolar but definitely with ADD as well.
Upsetting your family? Darling, if you get into trouble you’ll upset them more than if you’re taking meds don’t you think?
I’m not bad. Now I’ve got a damn cold. *sigh* Not surprising, I suppose. Escher offered to pick up any things I needed yesterday. I don’t like to “rely” on some people as I was “made” so independent by my family when I was just a kid. And especially Escher. He’s total “needy boy” so it’s like if I ask him for a favour…oh:
“PA loves me! PA loves me!!!”
Where do you live Greybeard? I’m quite sure your plane ticket would be outrageous for bringing me some orange juice and cough medicine etc…
April 22, 2008 at 7:08 pm
PA - I live about as far south as you can get and still be in Alabama, just 45 minutes from Florida (orange juice). Chartering the get even now.
I got a couple of decent naps today and feel much better. Actually I’m a little down, but not too bad. If this crap keeps up for another day or two I’m calling the shrink.
Thanks for your support.
April 22, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Hey Greybeard, mmmm…freshly squeezed OJ. Nothing beats that.
I’m glad you got a bit of sleep; that’s good. I also think it’s good that you’re going to keep an eye on things and if it does keep up you’re going to call your doctor. That’s top notch in my books.
You are most welcome…happy to be here anytime. I hope you feel better soon.
May 7, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Actually, thank god for Topamax for me and my migraines. Twenty-eight years/6 ueseless neuros and one finally hits the nail on the head (so to speak) and gives me this. I also take Imitrix nasal spray if I feel one coming on. Hooray for science via my throbbing noggin’.
Deb
May 7, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Hi suz50 or Deb! I’m glad to hear that Topamax works well for you too. Sorry you had to go through so many doctors to finally find a decent solution, however. Unfortunately that’s just sometimes how it goes, though. I know how you feel with trying to get everything right.
I don’t know if the nasal sprays are available here or not. That’s a good question. I think the first order of business is to prescribe the triptans orally and then perhaps move on to maybe the ergots or who knows? I suppose it would depend upon the patient and the prescribing physician.
Thanks for stopping by my blog and welcome too as I don’t think I’ve seen you comment before. Feel free to come back anytime.
Take care,
PA
May 7, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Hey, I like your blog. Didn’t know if you’d like to take a peek at my ER “Chatty Cathy” migraine story:
http://suz50.wordpress.com/2007/06/23/95/
Catch ya later,
Deb
May 9, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Hi again suz50. You always sign off as “Deb” as well so I’m not sure how to address you! I guess I’ll go with the first/top one as I do everyone else? Or maybe I’ll switch it up a bit?
Thank you so much for the compliment of liking my blog. That really means a lot.
Yes, I will definitely check out your post. I’m all tumbled and twisted at the moment today–well, certainly the afternoon so I’ll save your email and get back to it. The title certainly sounds intriguing though. “Chatty Cathy…” That sounds like it could refer to me at times! *laughing*
So yes, thank you again for sending me the link to your blog. And I look forward to seeing you later too.
May 11, 2008 at 7:22 pm
I am going to start topamax next week and looking forward to it. I hope to be off Seroquel eventually still in 4 years I have gained 50 lbs. due to Seroquel.I am just interested in more info on topamax since in US FDA approved for migraines.
May 12, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Hi Chandra Kiefer, welcome to my blog as I don’t believe I have seen you here before.
Yes, it is true that some of the Atypicals (i.e. newer generation Antipsychotics) can cause weight gain. I gained a fair amount of weight while on Zyprexa/Olanzapine but nothing on the Seroquel/Quetiapine.
Yes, in the U.S., it is approved for migraines (and obviously seizures, right?) I believe it is the same here. Off label for Bipolar in the U.S. and here as well? Still, not really a problem for getting it for Bipolar–at least not in Canada.
Anyway, what can I tell you…I take it for all three!
Side effects? They can differ for everyone but my biggest were loss of appetite and weight loss in general. I dropped about 15lbs. just like that. Taste perversion–some things tasted just like crap! That went away, though. Clumsiness, it made me stoopid–forgetting words, how to spell, just remembering things in general. It tweaked my seizure activity a bit with each titration but you needn’t worry about that as you don’t have them.
Other than that, I think it was a pretty easy med for me to deal with. Oh, wait. In my extremeties, I experienced “paraesthesia” which is a tickly or prickly sensation. That can be a popular one. And again, it went away and can be dose/titration dependant.
A pretty good resource for checking out meds is http://www.rxlist.com It’s not always the best for me as it only covers drugs in the U.S. and I am in Canada–plus that also might knock out other meds around the world and people read this blog…well, from around the world.
Here is the link to some side effect information re: migraines. Also, your prophylaxis dosage might be lower than for someone with seizures or Bipolar. Currently I am sitting at 300mg.
When noting the side effect information, remember that everyone is different and don’t forget to take into account the placebo information (i.e. a reduction in the actual number of people that actually experience the side effect in the overall number of the study, right?)
If this doesn’t take you to the migraine information, just scroll down as the seizure/epilepsy information is as the top.
http://www.rxlist.com/cgi/generic/topiram_ad.htm
Please let me know if you have any other questions…by all means.
Take care and I really hope the Topamax works out for you.
PA