I commented to share a bit on my last post, maybe, sort of a, mini-update? Well, no. Just some more details.
Last night got pretty exciting–and not in a good way. My moods started to go pretty wonky. I took two Valium/Diazepam within a few hours just to try and keep the anxiety at bay. They didn’t help. Then there was the depression. Combine the two and if it’s not too bad (which it wasn’t in a relative sense) you’re walking the tightrope of a Bipolar Mixed State. I also started to drift off into the happy land of Cognitive Distortion.
*PA slowly searches for post that she wrote that listed them all that’s somewhere? *
Okay, here’s the link but I only put up (basically) nine of the 11 on the list because I was talking about the ones applicable to me. I could get the other two if I still have the sheet in ADD Hell (aka my flat.)
So, my mind was flipping out a bit emotionally, I was freaky with a lot of fear (but it wasn’t quite to the level of paranoia.) I was in a real “fuck-it-all-to-hell-it’s-all-pointless” mindset. But then I felt kind of shitty and guilty about that–hello depression talking.
Gee, anything else?
Ah, yes. Sleep was fun. Night sweats. I get them occasionally but I haven’t had them in a while. We have central air conditioning here so it’s nothing to do with the weather. I’m always cold anyway! No, it’s brain stuff. Then at 0400hrs I awoke feeling utterly pukey. Time to pop a Gravol. Then in the morning, maybe some kind of Hypnopompia/Hypnagogia/Sleep Paralysis? Who the hell knows?
I think my moods may have straightened out a bit. I still may be feeling kind of depressed. Yes. I’m still kind of in outer space too–concentration? Nil. I’m surprised I’m even on my blog and writing coherently and responding to comments in kind.
My body? Ugh. I am still nauseous. I think even my tea is making me feel sick! OMG. Now that is an affront! How DARE you Lamictal/Lamotrigine!!! *shakes fist at Lamictal*
I’m still kind of dizzy and such too, however I did pop some Gravol/Dimenhydrinate. That could be making me spacy but really, at this point does it matter? Why split hairs?
I called Merlin #1 back, left a message and explained the entire situation–and why when I called him before I probably sounded like some whacked out junkie on Acid, Crack, Shrooms and Special K all at the same time! Well, not saying exactly that.
We’ve re-booked for tomorrow afternoon. Bloody hell, I hope I can get it together by then.
Can you even believe in trying to distract myself last night (and failing miserably at every turn) I was actually looking at job postings??? Good grief! That lasted all of how long? Today? I don’t know. I just don’t even know what to do with myself.
Maybe I should just try and chill…well, I have no choice. I can’t sleep. Dogs barking upstairs… *sigh*
*PA slowly wanders to bathroom to take Valium to try and chill*
Maybe I should try reading a book? *PA stares upward at nothing in particular*
BWAH-HA-HA!!!
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September 3, 2008 at 9:29 pm
I screwed up this past weekend and went from Friday morning’s dose until Tuesday nights dose without taking the Lithium… combination of getting to the drug store too late, and forgetting it was closed on Sunday and totally messing up and forgetting Monday was a holiday. I’m pretty sure I actually had a decent manic phase on Monday night.
Good luck on the dosing PURple ninJAH.
September 4, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Hi Gabriel…, OMG…that is truly hellish as well. It looks like you went in the opposite direction!
I remembered it was a holiday on Monday and had to race to the pharmacy as what was really important is that I had run out of part of my Seroquel and without that, I wouldn’t be able to sleep! But since I had both the Lamictal new script and a re-order for Valium, hey! Let’s all have a big drugfest!
Lord, almighty! God, our stupid brains!
Well, I hope you’ve managed to get straightened out and cheers to our shared experience of both of us going wingy on Monday night!
You take care too, nin-JAH!
September 4, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Hey Hey
OK, so this is wholly inappropriate, but …could you get a bit of peace by giving the mutt upstairs some valium?
B
September 4, 2008 at 3:33 pm
having fun on my high blood pressure meds.i have a nasty chest infection/cough.and have been coughing my way in to blackouts.only had one bad fall so far.went down like a sack of spuds and cracked my head a shot of a table.it was not a side affect mentiond
September 4, 2008 at 4:23 pm
ROFLMAO at Beattie’s comment…. yeah, that would give some peace to everyone, wouldn’t it? LOL I love the idea!!
September 4, 2008 at 7:04 pm
seems were all fkuckled up quite a bit right now. wish you could find some balance with your meds (even temporarily); hard to know sometimes how much is your mental difficulties versus med reactions/effects and/or side effects. i am so fortunate right now that i’m completely off my meds (i crave the sleep effect of one of them, but I’m not going back on any unless I absolutely have to).
I got nothing to help with the supra-imposed canine vocalizations, sorry.
September 4, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Mighty long list of meds there.. Valium, Lamictal, Gravol… All right, not might nor long by a long shot. just didn’t realized those where the only ones you mentioned. i think the medicine name dropping confused me while reading.. hehe. anyway, you think there could be a thing in taking too many meds?? it could make someone a little screwy…
September 5, 2008 at 10:07 am
I’m working my way up on lamictal too. Lucky for me, each dose increase only makes me temporarily see green flashing lights or walk like I’m drunk. I hope the load of crap it’s giving you will pass quickly.
September 5, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Hi Beattie, good to see you again! OMG, that is so funny! Could you imagine? It’s kind of a good idea in a naughty sort of way… Very tempting to look up “puppy doses” of benzos. I’d just have to figure a way to break into her flat!
And I’ll just skip ahead to mom…pretty good one Beattie pulled there, huh? She is known for some good sarcasm and wit around this place.
Oh, sodajerk, honey! Now I know you are a solid guy. You can take a lot but holy crap! Lovey, you just be careful now and stay in bed for a bit? Until things pass and you’re a bit more steady?
Good grief! I have orthostatic hypotension with my meds but at least I’ve never done anything like that! Stay safe!
Oh, and you’re not the only one physically sick too but I’ll save that for Gabriel… who thinks it’s blogging that had me a bit down in the dumps for my post that I wrote after this one.
Hi Arkay, I didn’t know you were off any meds. Interesting… Well, I’m glad if you can make your way along without them. No way for me with all of my wacky head stuff. I’m getting along better and better each day as my brain adjusts. And the dogs? So far, only Beattie’s come forth out of everyone so don’t worry!
Hi unfitting. Well, the Gravol is an OTC anti-nauseant so I don’t really count it as a “med.” *laughing* If you or anyone wants to see a list of everything I’ve tried and what I am currently on, you can go to the link of my “meds” on my About Page. It’s rather fun, I think!
Yes, some people have mentioned that I take too many possibly. But in thinking about it, a lot of them do “triple duty,” right? Anticonvulsants work for Bipolar, Seizures and Migraines. My Stimulant works for my ADD. My tummy drug works my tummy–haha. And no interactions there. Without my sleep meds I would be up for days and then probably just crash. I wouldn’t be able to function properly. Not to mention, no sleep=bad, bad, badness for Bipolar! Increased cycling?
So, I’ll take a crazy cocktail that normally doesn’t cause me any problems at all!
Hi immitthemad, welcome as I haven’t seen you here before. Also, I just skipped over to your place and I see you have blogrolled me. Thank you. I am truly honoured. I have Bookmarked you so I can come back and take a look.
Thanks for your well wishes. Yes, I’ve always found that is one blessing with ACs; the side effects are temporary when you are titrating (and even more so when starting to see if it works.) Much better than ADs as you don’t have to wait around feeling like utter shite. ACs give you a better picture, a lot quicker.
Take care,
PA