Yes, this may draw me in some good search terms, hits, increase my stats and fill up my Spam Queue? Or hell…Splogger me to death? I haven’t had (m)any of those lately!

I got my period today and was always curious about this one (outside of what I already knew.)

And yes…you’re all just dying out there to know if I “conducted my own little scientific experiment?” *PA laughing*

Well, unfortunately this post may be a bit brief.  The answer my darling readers is: Yes, No, Maybe So.

Yes.  Absolutely Scientific! No, really.  That is science! Who the fuck knows???

I looked and looked and looked for research until I (almost) went blind! Oh, and that is true.  You will NOT go blind from masturbating! I don’t care if you do it 5,000 times a day! Your vision may become somewhat blurred due to exhaustion but do not fear, it will return to normal!

So, what’s the “scientific” deal?

Alright, when you have your period, your uterine muscles are contracting like hell due to hormones called prostaglandins, right? So, why the hell would an orgasm help? Well, apart from feeling good, there is a “reason” why it might make your body feel good–when you’re on your period.

Endorphins will be released.  Yes, the happy hormone and it also blocks pain receptors.  So while you’re floating away on your wee river of bliss, you’re (probably) not feeling any pain either! Also, physically when you are having your “earth-shatterer,” you are screwing up the uterine contraction “schedule” that the prostaglandins are already making your uterus follow.

Too Cool for School, right?

Hold up.  When having an orgasm, you can also release Oxytocin.  This is another “feel good” hormone but it’s quite different.  It also plays a very different role in this scenario.  It makes your uterine muscles contract–basically like the prostaglandins.  And remember…this is post-orgasm so…now are you back to having cramps?

Shit.  Was the entire thing a bust?

I did read something else, in that part of the cervix dilates slightly and remains so for anywhere between five to 10 minutes.  This may also play a role? However, only in the immediate? Maybe?

So that takes me back the the answer: Yes, No, Maybe So.

It could depend and vary from woman to woman?

It also may depend upon just how terrible your cramps are to begin with! I mean, some women can’t get out of bed, off the couch…fuck me…off the floor!!!

And what’s worse? For you men that may not be in the know…there can be all types of hormonal weirdness going on so when you do get your period, you can be as horny as hell but too sick to actually do anything about it! Even TRY and masturbate (or have sex…) to perhaps make yourself feel better!

It’s true.  Not very fair at all now, is that?


  1. Not fair at all!

  2. Arkay

    I don’t know… usually by my third orgasm of an evening my hand (and sometimes other body parts) START cramping up, so no I don’t thing orgasms help for cramps in regards to me (and infact seem to cause them) ;)

    On a serious note, I once had a friend who whom would call me up and beg (she only ever needed to ask, though) me to come over and relieve her (by mouth or hand – any vibe or other long hard object insertions just made them worse)during some hellish ‘cramp’ days. (She could take care of the lesser ones, but needed someone else to do the ‘work’ while she just concentrated on the sensation and release of having someone else bring her on those really bad days). And yes, it did provide her some significant relief, if not completely removed the pain (sometimes for her entire remaining period).

    Btw, what’s having sex? lol. Reminds me of an Emo Phillips routine where he’s explaining about filling out job applications (see how I tie your posts together), and after all the tough last name first, first name last stuff he talks about them getting really personal and asking about sex. And he never knows what to put down as he really likes to ‘F’ but usually has to ‘M’ :)

  3. Hey Immi, I’m glad you got that part! I’ve recalled times when I’ve been really (hypo)manic (hypersexuality was one of my major hallmarks) and had just awful periods. It’s all fuzzy but I think the hypersexuality won out *laughing*

    Oh, shit! My Bipolar was so crazy back then, it’s not like it took very long anyway! *PA almost falls over laughing*

    Hi Arkay, wow, THREE in one evening??? I am suitably impressed. Again, see above. Reminds me of my good ol’ non-medicated or incorrectly medicated Bipolar days.

    *sighs*

    Well truly, I should be medicated. If one cost is a few less orgasms a day? Well… *shrug*

    Interesting to hear about your friend. Again, yes, seriously…different for all women?

    I love that too, though! She didn’t need to beg!!! Of course I’ll help you!!! Oh, that is so funny!

    Yes, I’ve heard jokes about the “Sex on Forms” before. Something about “Yes” or “No” as well? I’m not sure. I have no future as a Stand Up Comedian.

    Or even a Sit Down one…

  4. Arkay

    ha. a big part of the reason to go off my meds was the complete lack of libido (wasn’t even finding things hot/sexy in my head, let alone any physiological response). Definitely would rather be hyPER sexual (and still not getting any) rather than no horniness at all.

    Impressed with only three times? Give me a temporary (and even slow) unsecured internet connection nearby (I have a ‘borrowed’ laptop with me here while my PC’s getting fixed – AND IT HAS A WIRELESS INTERNET FINDER!!!) and I can maturbate to ejaculation upwards of six times overnight :P , or as many as I can until the network link is lost :( Speaking hyperthetically, of course ;)

    As for your comic ability, how about Lying Down…? :D
    *ducks whatever you just threw at me, lol*

  5. Hi Arkay, yes certain meds can definitely knock out your libido. They tend to be mostly ADs but others can too. It really depends on the med, the person…all of that business.

    Yes, the hypersexuality was definitely one of the good points of my Bipolar (hypo)mania but believe me…there were definitely some VERY bad ones! It’s always easier to remember “the good times,” right?

    And even still, if you’ve got major hypersexuality going on, it can still be a bad thing and you can get yourself into trouble! So, it’s not always a good thing, really. No.

    I am and was pretty socially retarded but Bipolar can take that away from you too when you are in a euphoric (hypo)mania.

    In the Bipolar Community, it’s pretty much called: “That Manic Charm.” It’s like you are just zooming along like crazy (haha) and not to sound like I have a big ego but people are just “drawn” to you. It’s like, your brain is racing along so quickly, you have an answer for everything immediately, you’re telling jokes, you’re the life of the party! Combine that with being hypersexed and…look out!

    OMG. You are killing me with your masturbation (cap)abilities! And your computer proclivities! Don’t you have a VCR or a DVD player? You could just do it “old school.”

    A “Lie Down Comic?” Is that supposed to mean I’d be funny in bed? Well really…sex IS supposed to be fun. No, you have to laugh in bed! All sorts of inane and kooky stuff can happen when you’re having sex with someone and you can’t take it seriously! You have to have a good sense of humour to have a good sex life with your partner.

  6. Arkay

    Definitely the anti-depressants as the major sex drive dampener. Interesting comments abt the bi-polar and ‘manic charm’ stuff (I tend to be ‘brain on’ ALL the time – an answer/tidbits for everything, jokes for all occasions at my tounge tip sort of thing – may have to look into that some more, thx Dr.) but never was much for the getting some/getting in trouble stuff – not for not wishing it though, opportunities weren’t there for me, as a rule :(
    (maybe it’s more of a girl thing?)

    not to belabor the point, but if (a guy) is going to ‘self-pleasure’ that many times somewhat consecutively, some variety in the visual/audible stimulation is required… oh, and lube, lots of lube (you only forget once, believe me :P ). For more normal amounts of ‘taking things in hand’, a bit ‘o literature, some really nice (artistically erotic) photo’s are plenty, with the right mindset and some imagination (or recollection), of course :)
    ——–
    I can picture it now… PA in the throes of passion, arching and thrashing, and then suddenly her partner hears, “A priest, a Rabbi and a minister walk into a bar…”, LOL!
    DEFINITELY agree on the sex needing to be fun/funny (or at least seen that way at times). Enough near injuries and unexpected *ahem* gasseous expellations from the anal region occur (either partner) that you better be able to laugh at the situation, right?

    oh, and in case you think this comment thread is maybe trending too far off topic, I just got a foot cramp from the way I was propping up the laptop to write all this stuff abt orgasms (etc.) :P

  7. Okay, there are a lot of scientific studies that have proven that orgasm alleviates menstrual cramps by the contracting of muscles, but who the heck really wants to have sex while on their monthly having cramps. Don’t answer that…I don’t want to hear the answer.

  8. Yes Arkay, indeed the ADs do tend to be the worst–and generally the SSRIs. However, not for everyone? But statistically…?

    Interesting you should make that comment about yourself. Well, something to ponder but imagine that about yourself and multiply it by about…oh, I don’t know…different for anyone in a euphoric (hypo)manic state but to the nth degree? No. I’m not joking. You are on fire! You are not “normal.”

    And you know how much I dislike using that word because there is no normal. But…it’s just bizarre! It’s hard to explain unless you’ve experienced it and that may be why everyone, again, just seems to “gravitate” to you. Again, I feel silly even saying it. You know I have NO ego!

    But back then? Holy crap. Then there was the “Grandiosity.” Combine that with the “Manic Charm,” the “Hypersexulity” and I was really something else at a social gathering.

    What that translated to would be people “gravitiating” to me, I’m all kinda sexed up and the Grandiosity? Well, that would mean that someone who wasn’t really interested in me…I actually thought that they were!

    Or they may have been to a degree but I thought it was sexual.

    Bipolar is fucked. When you are in Euphoria Land. OMG. And that is just a tiny little bit of it. I’ve been in other places too!

    I always say, get a room full of people with Bipolar together to swap stories and you’ll be surprised we’re all still alive.

    Oh yes! I hear you on the lube for that many times! Are you kidding me? I have a friend and he (I think?) masturbates exclusively with lube! Always. Just his thing, I guess…preference? But after so many times? No doubt! And yes…some kind of stimulation…mentally? We all need that!

    BWAH-HAH-HAH!!! You are too much! Yes, in the middle of my lovemaking, I start to pull out really bad jokes. You know what though? I’m so completely redonculous, that is something I might do!

    Yes, crazy near injuries when you’re trying to be all “inventive” in positions (or hell, just trying to be suave) and yes…oops…the passing of gas! That is HUGE!!! OMG!!!

    I have always said…can we stop for a second…I mean wow…I don’t want to fart in my lover’s face! Talk about “killing the moment!”

    Holy “fuck.” I am laughing so hard right now…this is becoming so much of a TMI comment section but I love it! Only you and I Arkay?

    And I’m sorry about your foot cramp. At least it was only your foot? *giggle*

  9. Arkay

    *big cheesy grin*

  10. Hi ClinicallyClueless, the former? Well, when I was looking…tough to find anything that I could actually quote and/or reference here. Nope.

    Also, I did forget to mention that intercourse (if you are heterosexual–or okay, if you are gay and getting into “insertions” if I may be…well, whatever?) it can be painful…or not…but probably…yes?

    Again: Yes, No, Maybe So.

    Anecdotally, from what I read, anything “inserted” didn’t feel all that great.

    But the latter portion or your comment made me laugh.

    I don’t wanna know!

    Hi Arkay, wipe that big cheesy grin off your face right now!

    I Command You!

  11. Arkay

    P.S. cheesy grin is still here AND I’m not taking care, so there :P

    command me will you… (actually, I think I kinda like it)
    ;)

  12. Arkay!

    I command you RIGHT NOW to wipe that fucking, cheesy, little grin off your stupid face and TAKE CARE, you pathetic excuse for a blogger and commenter!

    And while you’re at it, keep your damn mouth shut! If not, I’ll be forced to do it for you with a gag! Of my choosing, naturally.

    Now, don’t move until I tell you to. Is that understood? Just nod to say “yes,” since I’ve told you to keep that stupid mouth of yours quiet!

    *laughing*

    Signed,
    Dominatrix PA

    Just kidding but you said you wanted it? No, keep talking and commenting.

  13. pinklolly101

    um…whats blog ’bout?????

  14. Hi pinklolly101, I’m not sure what you are asking. Is it what this post is about or what is my blog about?

    If it’s the latter? Oh, my! You may be a bit new here but my blog can get a little wild, crazy, out of control? I told you I encourage everyone to be as spastic and nutty as they want. And when that happens, some of the jokes can really get flying. I mean, pretty much anything goes as long as no one is being mean, a flamer, troll etc…

    I am a huge believer in free speech too.

    Also, my blog is highly personal so I talk about all sorts of shit.

    This post? Well, it was semi-serious? I mean, that story about having an orgasm when you are on your period…does it help your cramps? That’s been around for ages so I just wanted to check it out as I was on my period and it sort of seemed like an appropriate time to write it then.

  15. there are so many scientific studies prove that orgasm alleviates menstrual cramps by the contracting of muscles, but who the heck really wants to have sex while on their monthly having cramps.

  16. Hi Ejaculation By Command. Welcome to my blog as I haven’t seen you here before. I don’t think you are really interested in this post, though. No, not at all.

    Reason being, you have stated almost verbatim what ClinicallyClueless has written above. That said, what I really think you are here to do, is promote your book on my blog.

    I never endorse anything on my blog. I let my extremely, well educated readers decide what is useful, and what is complete garbage. That is absolutely true. They have the final say, period. Oh, look at that. I made a pun. Don’t you find puns great! I love them.

    You see, I am writer just like you! I’ve even been published! We have something in common! I have also edited other work by published writers. That may give me even greater insight in distinguishing what really is useful and complete garbage. However, who am I to say? I do at least have my opinions about what is useful and complete garbage.

    I also have a policy not to censor my commenters, unless certain reasons require me to do so. For example, should things become out of control, people become harmed or at risk etc… That sort of thing.

    Although, you don’t seem to be doing that in allowing my extremely, well educated readers the opportunity to distinguish your book as useful or complete garbage. Yes, I feel they will be safe if they read your comment.

    Again, it was very nice to meet you. I wish you nothing but the best with your future writing endeavors.

  17. A man

    You are the worst writer I’ve ever had the challenge of reAding. You write like a woman who hasn’t left 8th grade. I looked for something to help my girlfriend and I come across this shit. You like to write articles and just say “maybe”?

  18. Hi A man.

    Oh, my. I see we have a problem here. I am the worst writer you have ever had the challenge of reading. However, I at least look like I’m at the 7th grade level. That then draws an assumption, that you have no challenges reading at least 7th grade writing.

    I must ask if you actually read this post. Perhaps that was a bit of a challenge. If it frustrated you and that came out in your comment to me, I can understand that. It’s something called “Transference.”

    Let me see if I can go over things to try and help clear matters up. You may still think I am the worst writer you’ve ever read, but if so, I apologize. I just think it would be disloyal to a reader to leave them in the dark.

    There was a lot of scientific information in the post dealing with the Female Endocrine System. That would be “Hormonal.” That is what the Endocrine System is about. It also only dealt with small parts of it–hormones dealing with menstruation. The Endocrine System does so much more than merely that!

    I think it would be simple to understand that all women are different. Thus, we can conclude all of their menstruation cycles are different (including ovulation as well.) Sometimes, women’s menstrual cycles can vary significantly from month to month!

    If you can grasp the above, that is a huge part of the “maybe.”

    The rest of the “maybe?”

    There are no “absolutes” in science or any other discipline, except for mathematics. Only there will you find a single answer to a problem or theorem. However, our bodies are not mathematical equations.

    Science continues to strive for solutions, and although this post may have seemed to you like a bit of a lark, it really was not. Moreover, I do write in a humourous style at times. Perhaps you did not understand that.

    Women can and do go through immense pain while having cramps during menstruation. If masturbation could ease that in any way, why not have a look at it and see if any data is out there? Unfortunately, I could not find any information to scientifically say, “Hey, I think we’re onto something here!”

    Now. If you would like to tell me what your girlfriend’s problem is, I would be happy to help.

    Best,
    PA

  19. Julia

    I’ve had multiple self orgasms. That I have given myself. Up to 8 in one night. Lol XD but that’s just using clitoral stimulation.. :)

  20. Hi Julia. WHOO HOO! *laughing* Thanks for sharing. Sounds like loads of fun!

  21. Taylor

    Well, I tried out this all natural remedy last night for the first time (that is, the first time I’ve used it to ease cramping, however not my first rodeo) I think the reason I never tried it before is because on my worst cramping days I feel so bloated, tired, and sore that the last thing on my mind is an Easter egg hunt,.. But WOW, the Easter bunny granted all my wishes. The pain virtually vanished for thirty minutes which was plenty of time for me to fall asleep. Thirty minutes may not sound like much, but with non-stop 24 hr cramping it was a godsend. I Googled the topic because this morning I was curious as to why orgasms are so effective (at least for me) and why more women dont know about it. Which is how I ended up on your blog… pointless story completed.

    As a side note, the women in my family raised me under the mantra that sex during your period is a no-no. My family isn’t necessarily prudish but is male dominate and I think it leaked into the brains of the women and made them stupid. I was also told that watermelon seeds will make you you-know-what and the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Branching out on my own led me to discover that the watermelon seeds are a rich source of protein and the quickest way to a man’s heart is with a blade strong enough to fracture the sternum.

    Cool blog! Think I’ll take a look around while maintaining the pretense of work.

  22. Hi Taylor. Welcome and super-great to meet you as your comment made me laugh so hard! I don’t know if that was your intent but it was the end result!

    But thanks for sharing. A lot of other comments up there are pretty negative on this issue (apart from my long gone, wordplay sparring partner Arkay.) Come back buddy!

    Then that guy who said I wrote like a kid. Whatever.

    Otherwise, a positive one. Now you?

    If I didn’t write it before, pretty unfair as your hormone levels rise so you can get pretty horny. Not a fair trade to have awful cramping but really wanting to have sex.

    I think I also mentioned that I tried? Well, if I didn’t, I have. And did just recently. *laughing so hard*

    The cramping wasn’t so bad as I had taken something to try and alleviate the pain. All I found was that it alleviated some stress. My cramps didn’t go away.

  23. taruna

    i did it two times. bingo! no trace of pain! why didn’t i found it early?

  24. Hi taruna. Nice to meet you and welcome to my blog. I’m not sure if you’re still around as I certainly haven’t been!

    So, we have a winner that it works! Alrighty, then!

    Well, you hadn’t found out about it earlier, but now you have. Enjoy both benefits! *laughing*

    Take care,
    PA




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