Wow. I am not joking about the word pimp! This is “fucking” awesome!
My day has been uber-stressful and uber-crap. However, after just getting this sorted via email, and now being able to post about it, I do have some kind of grin on my godawful mug. I’ve been trying to pick it up off the floor for hours.
I’m sure many of you other bloggers are SO familiar with these types of emails. They keep coming around. They never stop. We want your blog! We’ve placed your blog on our site! We want reciprocity!
Some of these emails read so terribly, they immediately make all of our mugs beyond godawful and collectively fall to the floor! Then, once we have all finally rescued our horrified faces, we might actually be able to figure out who on earth these people are, what the hell they want, are selling…
Selling. I think this was one of the weirdest (and funniest.) Someone was going around and trying to get us to promote “Pinhole Glasses” on our blogs. Now, what on earth are “Pinhole Glasses???” It’s okay. Don’t answer. I know.
Well, just because I thought it was so hilarious, I kept the email. Having read so many of these damn things after so long, I toss a lot of them in the trash. Oh, and about those ol’ Pinholers, there? It was a “Product Review.” Ah, I see… (sorry couldn’t resist.) That’s different! That doesn’t mean it’s a “Promotion” at all then, does it?
I suppose I’m actually giving them what they want. I’m talking too much about wearing something so close to your eyes, there is an extreme risk of going blind due to someone mistaking your head as part of their sewing kit. However, I’m not linking to the website of the specific company! HA!
So, do you now want to know how much “Hooker PA” is worth? Let me tell you, for the amount of money, I’m standin’ on a street corner! No fancy outcalls making $5,000 a night!
I got an email–get ready folks–and writers!!! Someone wanted to “Purchase” a “Permanent Link” in one of my posts. Huh? So, what’s that mean? Like, BUY a link I’ve made or something? Because there WAS a link in the post they sent me they liked. But it was a link to ANOTHER post I wrote. Huh?
And where does all of this “Reciprocity” come in? ‘Cause I guess I looked pretty hot standin’ on that street corner! They DID email me after all, AND with a link to one of my posts! You see? You see? I WAS looking good! They put my post in their email! WHOO! “Hot Hooker PA!”
For $100 they ASKED ME TO CHANGE MY WRITING IN MY POST to then have it linked to an external site. Yes folks, you heard that right. Even if it’s something that should be unheard of.
On top of a lot of other ways I run my blog? I’m a writer. HELL NO, am I changing my writing for anyone!!! Okay, maybe an editor if it’s for publishing. But in this case? I’m crazy but…
Maybe that’s my problem. I have so may diagnoses, I get nailed way too often!