I don’t know what to say right now but simple facts? Lots of seizures and lots of ironic seizures.

Seizing before, during, and after being picked up for Accessible Transit.  You’d think that would be enough.  Nope.

I seized two days ago, right before I was going to open the door to one of my doctor’s building.

Today?

Whoa.  A bit of seizing while being driven on Accessible Transit.  Then a bit of worsening seizing in the office of Non-Arsey Neuro’s before my appt.  Then, I DARE YOU!!! I began to feel a couple of small, myoclonic jerks in my right leg.  This has been a very serious problem over the last while.

I DARE YOU LEGS.  AFTER ALL OF THIS???

It was a dare I knew I’d lose.  Whether I dared my legs to seize or not to seize.  And the way my legs have been seizing lately, the intensity of the motor movement? I knew I was in for it.  I was cooked.

It’s actually better if I’m standing up when this happens, if you can believe it.  Lean against something, cane in hand, then I can see if it’s going to affect the rest of my body and how.  In the waiting room, I was sitting down.  In a rather uncomfortable plastic chair.

Well, my legs didn’t let me down! Sorry about that.  Bad, bad epilepsy joke there.  First, the right, then not so much the left.  Then up it rose (as it usually does these days.)  God, that chair! My hip was killing me, but what about the wall?

I was going so hard I kept banging the damn chair against the wall! Several doctors work there and I think one is a Pediatrician.  This woman was there with her kid, and if I had a chance, I just may have caught what seemed like an expression of sheer horror on her face.  Charming.

Well, the obvious outcome of the appt. was to increase the Clobazam from 80mg to 100mg per day.  We talked about other things obviously, as he almost carried me into his office.  The first thing I did was ask him for some water as I thought a Valium would be good right about now!

Also, I confirmed it.  I caught it.  I’ve had the first Absence Seizure that I’ve ever known of (you lose consciousness.)  That loss of consciousness is so brief, it can go undetected in so many people.  The “test” if you’ve “lost time?” Were you daydreaming or not? I was not!

I was thinking of something, and then just “popped” back into…the world…from…? And I couldn’t even remember what I was even thinking about.  It wasn’t my DP/DR as it comes in and out gradually.  This was like I entirely disappeared from the world and at some point, came back, knew where I was but had no idea how I got there or where I had been before.

Well, better scoot.  I think the Todd’s paresis is coming on.  Legs definitely heavy.  Oh, yeah.


  1. I’m so sorry to read about your plight. When i was a teenager, i had seizures. Going on a sugar free diet helped a whole lot. Idon’t know if that will be helpful for you or not, but perhaps it is worth considering.

  2. My prayers are with you.
    Author Barbara altman

  3. Hi Barbara. Thank you so much for your comments and support. I don’t believe anything I consume lowers my seizure threshold! I even drink and it’s never been a problem!

    I’ve had epilepsy since I was a child. Idiopathic. No known cause. It disappeared when I was in my teen years (not uncommon) but then it resurfaced in my 20s. However, they still remained Simple Partials that didn’t even bother me!

    It was only when I was laid off/made redundant almost four years ago when the seizures really hit the fan! The presumed reason was stress from that. Okay, let’s get things under control (and all was except this “syndrome.”) It also just came out of nowhere. I haven’t had it for years and years or anything.

    So, get back to a job and stability… It never happened (obviously.)

    I know that in some cases (even a personal one) where changes in diet may help people on the Autistic Spectrum. My personal connection was to a boy whose parents took out wheat, gluten and dairy.

    Hi katm. Good to see you. And I was actually thinking of you recently, as well. Two broken heads don’t think like one?

    I don’t even think that makes sense! Ah, cut me some slack. My broken head isn’t really thinking period!




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