Detox Day #2
I’m not sure if anyone’s noticed but there’s been a little bit of talk around here about being an addict (me=alcohol.) That was on Twitter. Then I mentioned it to a commenter here. I apologized if I made the person upset, but I call things as I see them. The proof is in the pint: I just said I am an addict as well.
*takes deep breath and exhales*
Speaking of deep breathing and exhaling. I need a cigarette. I can’t believe this. All of it. Day #2!
Okay. First the medical. I have read about this before, but based upon what is happening to me now, does it apply? Semantic debates. Alcohol Allergy vs. Alcohol Intolerance. Well, call it what you will, but as far as I’m bloody concerned, it’s the same damn thing!
Never before. When I drink alcohol, and not even much, I become unbelievably sick. No. Really, really sick. And it happens while I am drinking. It’s now progressing to drinking even smaller amounts. Obviously, I have to stop? It’s like someone managed to slip some Antabuse (aka Disulfiram) into me behind my back!
Three nights ago, I had only two bottles of beer in my fridge. I decided it was time to do it. While I drank them, I wrote notes all along the way. I want to post them all on my blog. It will have to be in a series. Lots of writing.
Now, today. A lot of shit can go on when you’re trying to quit drinking, but I think I’m probably going though another Typical Absence Status Epileptics round. That can make things harder to discern. But this? NOT Typical Absence Status Epilepticus.
I had a good dinner last night, had breakfast today, as I’m trying to get my body back in shape. I felt fine. I was not prepared for this at all.
Oh, dear god! I’ve actually got Delirium tremens. My hands are shaking (or maybe a bit less now–I’ll get to that.) Shortly afterward, holy shit. Another “never before!” How do I explain this? I couldn’t bear being in my skin! The feeling of being in my skin! AHHH!!! Let me out! I can’t stand it!!!
I held on to my bottle of Valium for about five minutes until I finally slapped myself (not literally) and said (not out loud) “This is why you’ve been prescribed them dummy! For anxiety! Take a fucking Valium!” I’m still pretty freaky. You also treat people quitting booze with benzos anyway!
A bit all over here, but the DTs can mess with your heart. I’m okay. Resting bpm not throwing me into Tach. Maybe that’s the Valium calming me down a bit. And my hands too. They’re not so shaky anymore.
Finally, as I mentioned with my hands up there? All of my friggin’ meds may actually help me with this!!! More medical mumbo jumbo about cellular up-regulation and downregulation, but my Anticonvulsants (and my Atypical Antipsychotic) are involved with the neurochemistry. That could “homeostate” me faster (sorry, I wanted to make up a word.)
Fine, I’m on Biphentin as a stimulant for my ADD, but really. Three ACs plus one AP can beat that. I sound like I’m playing Poker with all of my meds.
So that’s where I sit right now. This has taken a long time to compose. Should go. Not feeling so great. This is harder than I thought it would be. Way more. For some reason.
Thanks for reading everyone,