I’m not sure if anyone’s noticed but there’s been a little bit of talk around here about being an addict (me=alcohol.)  That was on Twitter.  Then I mentioned it to a commenter here.  I apologized if I made the person upset, but I call things as I see them.  The proof is in the pint: I just said I am an addict as well.

*takes deep breath and exhales*

Speaking of deep breathing and exhaling.  I need a cigarette.  I can’t believe this.  All of it.  Day #2!

Okay.  First the medical.  I have read about this before, but based upon what is happening to me now, does it apply? Semantic debates.  Alcohol Allergy vs. Alcohol Intolerance.  Well, call it what you will, but as far as I’m bloody concerned, it’s the same damn thing!

Never before.  When I drink alcohol, and not even much, I become unbelievably sick.  No.  Really, really sick.  And it happens while I am drinking.  It’s now progressing to drinking even smaller amounts.  Obviously, I have to stop? It’s like someone managed to slip some Antabuse (aka Disulfiram) into me behind my back!

Three nights ago, I had only two bottles of beer in my fridge.  I decided it was time to do it.  While I drank them, I wrote notes all along the way.  I want to post them all on my blog.  It will have to be in a series.  Lots of writing.

Now, today.  A lot of shit can go on when you’re trying to quit drinking, but I think I’m probably going though another Typical Absence Status Epileptics round.  That can make things harder to discern.  But this? NOT Typical Absence Status Epilepticus.

I had a good dinner last night, had breakfast today, as I’m trying to get my body back in shape.  I felt fine.  I was not prepared for this at all.

Oh, dear god! I’ve actually got Delirium tremens.  My hands are shaking (or maybe a bit less now–I’ll get to that.)  Shortly afterward, holy shit.  Another “never before!” How do I explain this? I couldn’t bear being in my skin! The feeling of being in my skin! AHHH!!! Let me out! I can’t stand it!!!

I held on to my bottle of Valium for about five minutes until I finally slapped myself (not literally) and said (not out loud) “This is why you’ve been prescribed them dummy! For anxiety! Take a fucking Valium!” I’m still pretty freaky.  You also treat people quitting booze with benzos anyway!

A bit all over here, but the DTs can mess with your heart.  I’m okay.  Resting bpm not throwing me into Tach.  Maybe that’s the Valium calming me down a bit.  And my hands too.  They’re not so shaky anymore.

Finally, as I mentioned with my hands up there? All of my friggin’ meds may actually help me with this!!! More medical mumbo jumbo about cellular up-regulation and downregulation, but my Anticonvulsants (and my Atypical Antipsychotic) are involved with the neurochemistry.  That could “homeostate” me faster (sorry, I wanted to make up a word.)

Fine, I’m on Biphentin as a stimulant for my ADD, but really.  Three ACs plus one AP can beat that.  I sound like I’m playing Poker with all of my meds.

So that’s where I sit right now.  This has taken a long time to compose.  Should go.  Not feeling so great.  This is harder than I thought it would be.  Way more.  For some reason.

Thanks for reading everyone,
PA


  1. Morbid Insanity

    I had my past with alcohol too. It’s still difficult! I can say that, today, I’m more controlled. When I’m drinking and have people around, I try to remember not to drink too much and do not mix more drinks (and pills as well). It does not always happen, but I try.

    “Maybe that’s the Valium calming me down a bit” Oh, Valium! I liked it!I used to say/think the same. But I never knew if it was the Valium or the others I used to take.

  2. Hi again Morbid Insanity. Oh, my god! I got so crazy after my last comment about going Morbidly Insane myself, I threw all of my comments into my gmail Bin!

    I had them check marked to distinguish them from Twitter ones and personal ones, and when I did, BANG!

    I forgot I had the others check marked too. SPAZ o_O

    Anyway, about drinking, I don’t know if you read my 100 ridiculous Tweets when I was testing wine vs. beer in terms of an allergic reaction.

    I’m a red and not a white (i.e. think reaction to tannins–a lot of people can react to them.) Irrespective of that, I’m still a red–but will drink white if that’s what the host or others want! *rolls eyes*

    I was fine. Also, I didn’t feel any urge to keep drinking. I had two glasses and that was it. Until NYE and I drank more. Still, I didn’t feel sick at all. Now? I really don’t want to drink much or get blotto either. At least that’s how it stands now! Kidding.

  3. Morbid Insanity

    “I was fine. Also, I didn’t feel any urge to keep drinking./Still, I didn’t feel sick at all. Now? I really don’t want to drink much or get blotto either. At least that’s how it stands now!”

    That’s good! :)

    Take care!

  4. Hi Morbid Insanity. Thanks. It’s an ongoing sort of thing though. I don’t even know if I wrote it anywhere as I haven’t been on my blog in ages, but Vodka seems alright.

    Or maybe not? *shakes head* I’ve only been having a little but like all allergies, they can take you the full distance!

    The jury is still out, but I have a sneaking suspicion that all alcohol is out!

    We’ll see Mr. Vodka. *ponders*

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