Archive for the ‘Aspie Penguin’ Category
Yes, I know. I keep making posts before I get back to commenting. I wanted to do get on that but, I have a very busy day today. With all I have to do, my head is twisted around like 300 pretzels, altogether into one.
Good news? I am finally getting my hair cut!
Bad news. I’ve lost my stylist! Having a fantastic stylist is like losing a fantastic therapist!
Good news? The guy who set up shop with my long gone stylist *tries not to cry* is still in business.
Bad news. Let’s hope he or whoever I get can understand the notion of what “Bishounen” is.
Good news? I have Bishounen pics on baby MacBook.
Bad news. Well, hopefully not bad news. Don’t let me forget to bring baby MacBook with me.
Good news? Well, hopefully good news? I’m taking transit by myself and not relying on accessible.
Bad news. No injuries, please.
Good news? Well, weird news. I’m actually buying Christmas pressies for people this year!
Bad news. I’m shredding my bank account to bits.
Nothing but bad news. I still need to fix up baby MacBook with shredded dollars. I’m such an Aspie Spaz, I have NO sense of direction. That means I’m going to have to look up the transit schedule and stare at it for about an hour to make sure I can get things timed right. Hopefully?
Ugh. I’m trying to work on Twitter Follows (sort of fast?) However, poor Aspie Penguin! He’s got loads we need to work on! *keeps drinking tea and stares at clock*
POSTSCRIPT: OMG. I just “lost” my tea and had to go on a big ADD Hunt. At least it wasn’t in the fridge where the milk goes. Nah, that would be too easy. However, not as hard as putting it in the closet with my bras and underwear.
Oh, my! I’ve got quite a mess on my flippers right now. First, there was the migraine on Tuesday, October 02, 2012. That caused wee PA to cancel her therapy appointment. Then, during her sleep on Thursday, October 04, 2012, she had a tonic-clonic seizure. I am fairly sure we have now entered the next Typical Absence Status Epilepticus phase. Not to mention, I feel with rather a big bang.
Right now, she is sitting at her table in the kitchen, staring at a heap of rubble she needs, and wants to do. At least I managed to get her out of bed, where she was hiding, and actually into the kitchen. One thing she wants to do is get to the comments on her blog. She thinks they are excellent!
I am making more tea, but we have another problem. It is a very serious problem. Wee PA has only a few Gravol pills left!
We are only just starting tea. She tried to sleep as late as possible, so we are really, and very slowly, starting our day now.
Sometimes she will improve as time moves on throughout the day. We might be able to see if there is some Gravol at the corner store.
I just looked over to where she is. Sorry everyone but I have to go now! Wee PA is just staring at her computer and stimming like crazy by rocking back and forth very fast. Obviously, she is getting overloaded physically, psychologically and emotionally. I may give her a Valium if she cannot stop or things get worse.
The last post I wrote was totally stupid! And so am I for publishing it! I deleted it.
Stupid, both in the way I wrote it, and repeating again: I might not be here for a while, or who knows?
Not to mention, WTF about the South London folks? Not a slight, my dear UK readers. NEVER! I love you all. I love everyone who comes here!
Just more proof that my brain isn’t working (so well?)
If I’m not here, then I’m not here.
It’s as simple as that.
I completely destroyed a friendship as of today. No, I really blew it all to shit. It was like I was a kid who played with thousands of pounds of “Silly Putty.” You know, that plastic stuff, bend it, stretch it, the best was pressing it on the funnies and it would make an exact replica!
However, I played with it so much, I needed more and more and more… That led me to an adult who needed “Plastique!” Even though the term is obsolete. What they still use is plastic and soft-like. Yes?
So, I kept on and on, playing with my “Plastique” having no clue what I was doing. Until I met a certain person. We became so close and so intimately tied together. I guess you could call that a “fuse?”
And I can guess you can gather what happened. I really blew it all to shit.
I had to go to a group therapy session today–oh, boy, what fun! I was only hoping I wouldn’t fall apart and start bawling at any point through it. I spoke to my therapist as she took one look at me (she’s really good!) and was WTF?!
We spoke briefly and she asked if I would be okay to attend. I didn’t know what to say but finally thought it might be (uh, yeah) some kind of a distraction.
Now, I’m sitting and drinking beer. Writing this. Maybe Aspie Penguin might work on his huge list of people to follow on Twitter. He’ll need my help for that. I don’t know if I can be of any use to him though.
The Muse summoned me to write last night. Now my Muse? Even if she summoned me now by shaking me so violently my life was at risk, she would remain dead to me. There will be no writing now.
I have intense therapy work re: being a Womb Twin Survivor. Alright. Get really drunk and let the feelings flow while starting with the e-Book I downloaded. Because it’s not like I nearly explode into tears after a few pages. And it’s not because any of it was a problem with all of this. Or my entire life or anything. No, my twin just died. It didn’t “really” have any affect on me. No. My twin was just this little piece of tissue and so was I. Nothing was happening and nothing did happen to me when my twin was lost. WRONG!
Or maybe I’ll just sit here, listen to some music. I suspect you know what type and/or style it will be. And just keep drinking. Hey, I’m “allowed” to be my alcoholic self after losing this person. So to hell with it. Beer is part of my grief process now.
Par for the course? Why do I always fuck up so much and in such massive ways? I guess it’s just par for the course.
Indeed. Yes. Oui. Whatever.
I’m not entirely sure, but my charming states of Typical Absence Status Epilepticus, may be lasting even longer than they did in the beginning. Before I was ever treated. Before I even figured out that I had it.
Back then, it was 6-7 days. Reviewing my
obsessive diligent note taking, I am now seeing a 9 day pattern. That does not bode well, as it leaves fewer days of any “wellness” in between.
That is because it’s catamenial, if any of you don’t know. That means regarding your menstrual cycle. However, it can also mean when you ovulate. The two make a charming couple, don’t you think?
I’ve written so much about this, my regular readers probably have my cycle for both memorized! Well, don’t worry about me getting pregnant, folks.
One, I’m not having sex. Two, I’m gay and don’t sleep with men.
I’m calling Non-Arsey Neuro tomorrow for an appt. I’ve (finally and painfully) gotten around to enter half of January’s information. I built a hopefully, if not remotely, understandable template. Then, I get out a highlighter for the really serious stuff. We last saw each other in mid-October.
I say “finally and painfully” as I can’t figure out if things have changed somehow else in January. I am extremely exhausted every day. I’m not kidding. To the degree where I can’t even pick up the phone to make a simple call! The word “Decompensation” keeps going around and around in my head. Maybe I’m just tired? We’re moving into the 9th month of this now. It could be both? One thing I do know is that it’s not good.
The psychiatric and psychological? The cognitive? The ongoing seizures? *rolls eyes* It’s a package deal, guys.
So, yes. I can’t remember if I’ve told you anything regarding that or who knows what! I have the memory of a goldfish?
Why do people say that? Have there ever been any peer reviewed studies to test memories of goldfishes? I think not! One practical problem, however. Who the hell could make a whack of electrodes that small!
Anyway, I may sound somewhat “Compos Mentis” but Aspie Penguin is putting most of this together. If I had more energy, I’d be so spazzy, that I would be Non Non Non Compos Compos Compos Mentis Mentis Mentis!!!
So I streamed a song on MP3 of the Moment. I was going to try to do more here, get to Twitter business, but whoa…I’m sorry kids.
“Super Cool Wagon” by Sons Of Freedom
It appears my wee PA has decided to make a couple of more appearances on her blog. She even signed on to Twitter to talk. Now she has forgotten what she said somewhere. I will need to help her sign back on to find it, but we can do that later. More importantly, I think this proves that she is not quite so clear regarding her mental faculties. Nor her physical ones, either.
So, I have come here to tell you a few things.
- No matter how long it may take her to compose anything online, even if it is merely one sentence, it stands to have a significantly high probability that her words will make little sense.
- As you may or may not know, wee PA can be ridiculously stubborn. Even to the point of believing she can get 5,000 mules to climb the Swiss Alps in one hour. Thus, she may take on too much regarding things online. This is completely unrealistic as she does not have the capability for it. See point #1.
- Today, she felt even more guilty about not responding to people online. This, after writing the first post that made her feel guilty enough. That was one week ago. After she wrote her post last night, the first thing she did after waking up was get on her blog to reply to someone! Anyone! This is an ongoing problem. No matter how slow she may think she is regarding her blogging habits with her readers, 24 hours to her can actually feel like 24 days. I will need to monitor her carefully to make sure she does not go over the edge! See point #2.
- Wee PAs mental state is a little strange at this point. One moment, she should be given the Nobel Prize for the most razor sharp insights, obtained with diamond-like vision. Due to everything that is going on, please trust me. I assure you, she is lucid when these things occur. Then, in another moment, she is not walking through an emotional minefield, she actually is the mine. Here, it may be worthwhile to see all the points above.
I think that is all I have to say. Although, there are a lot of times when she would really like to communicate with people. Unfortunately, it is still very challenging right now. She is still quite sick.
We will handle it slowly. Since this all started, everything has needed to be dealt with on a day-to-day basis. That fact has not changed.
In a little while, I think I will help her have a bath. She can in no way have a shower! We need to pay special attention to this next one, too. She lost her balance a little the last time. Luckily, there were no injuries. However, later in the day she hit her head. Being her typical, stubborn self, she refused to wait for me to help her take out the garbage. She stood up and her head landed squarely on the kitchen counter.
Sometimes I really wonder if I get paid enough to do this. Oh, but I love her. Love is all that matters in the end, correct?
Oh, how my wee PA is a disaster! She just went to pack baby MacBook and realized she had not turned it off last night!
She does still have access to an unsecured signal, since she moved into the flat she is vacating today. It has been here for the entire four years! It still hasn’t gone away, so I can make this last post for her. We will both get back to you at some point. Hopefully, as soon as possible.
However, even when she does get her Internet installed at her new place of residence, she may be in bed, non-functional for an indefinite period. I will do my best to rouse her, if that is the case.
Best to all of you,