My Current Earworm

Stuttering (Kiss Me Again) - Ben’s Brother

OMG Sleep!

I have been a bad, bad girl! I should be in bed…well, I am on bed but I should be sleeping!

I have been staying up way too late these days. So, post in mind for tonight…tomorrow?

For now, I should just turn the damn computer off, try and turn my mind off *laughing* and yes, go to sleep.

I have been terribly neglectful of all things I should be doing so I promise I will make a concerted effort tomorrow. Is that a promise to you guys or to me? Both?

Ah, feck it.

Nighty nighty. *sigh*

*PA rolls eyes*

The Devil in the Bottle Part II

PA, YOU STUPID FUCK.

Oh, I’m paying for it now.

Mood = ↓

I’ve even been contemplating cutting! Oh, for joy!

I’m trying to ascertain if I had a bit of mood cycling, winginess over the last 24 hours but does it really matter? For here is where I sit. Stuck. Last night is over. Still, I was either pretty ADD hyper or Bipolar hypomanic. My energy levels just seemed way out of range. Hell, I could have been both! I’m not kidding. Let’s hear it for the fun of comorbidities. However, now that I’ve plummeted…? Ugh.

I’ve just taken my sleep meds and it’s ridiculously early. Don’t know what to do with myself (except keep screaming in my head what an absolute asshole I am.) I know, I know…maybe a lot of you reading out there might be joining in as the chorus?

I’ve also got good old “Mercyfuck” by Mary Prankster ringing away as a non-stop earworm as well. It’s a great one when you feel you’ve completely screwed everything all to hell and the world totally blows. It must surely hold the world’s record for someone singing/saying, “Fuck” the most times in any single song. No…Mary says, “Fuck” a lot in it. It’s a great song, though. I’d actually listen to it but it would just make me more depressed.

There’s no point. I mean, “fuck,” I’ve got it memorised anyway!

I could write more but it’s all rather muddled and pointless at the moment. And yes…comments pending. One of Anna’s is a bit longer so I would like to be clear for that.

Another Useless Day

Oh, dear. This is shameful. I have been completely ineffective today. In fact, I am so ineffective all you are getting is a YouTube. There isn’t even a point to me writing out my “oh-so-tiny” list of things that I actually did do today.

I’ve really got to get at it tomorrow. ARGH!

I thought the footage used for this was just excellent for the song.

Work Hard by Depeche Mode

MP3 of the Moment and Some Motivation

Well, I managed to get some work done–not so much around my flat but priorities? No, “Fix Me Up” has been neglected and well, my flat is always being neglected.  Not to mention, I finally established contact with P. whom I met while in hospital last year and we are finally going to get together! We’re meeting for dinner tonight.  I used that as some motivation and a “reward” for getting some work done.

So, speaking of “neglecting” things…MP3 of the Moment has really just been sitting there untouched for a very long time.  I’ve been thinking I should do some more “Series” types like I used to do a while back?

On that note (pun intended…)

Some Psychobilly, anyone? Here we go with a trio by The Cramps.  I did post a YouTube of “What’s Inside a Girl” a long time ago so I won’t stream that one.

And one is “profane” as you will see by the title.  I generally tend to warn people so they won’t get their knickers in a knot if they click on the link for a song.

Okay, It’s Time to Slow Down…

I’m sitting in the lobby of the building where “Fix Me Up” is. I can get a better wifi signal in the cafe here. I can barely move. I find it “rude” to sit in public places like this here and work away so I am drinking a Diet Coke.

I was so screwed up and out of my head this morning, I completely forgot to take my meds! Not that I haven’t done this before. Perhaps it really doesn’t exemplify anything. Regardless… I am getting way…well? Beyond my limits? Approaching them? Have I actually gone past them?

I’m so bloody out of it, I can’t even tell.

I normally stay after session and do more work here but I think I should just go home. No. No, thinking required? That’s almost laughable as my thinking is…? Well, I pulled out all resources for the morning session. And I’m writing this post? Some thinking still going on?

I need to just go home. And probably stay off the computer. And not look at any of my documents, notes, reference materials, “To Do” Lists…

I wish I lived closer to “Fix Me Up” as then I could just pour myself into a taxi and be done with my day? Well, I still could but a fair bit of money? *PA hunches over table dreading commute home*

Not to mention, I received a message last night that my Ding-Dong Landlord said he might need access to my flat today for maintenance. So much for the legal requirement of 24 hours notice. I called his wife back and said due to my circumstances and how crazy things have been, my flat is a wreck! I apologised in advance and said how embarrassed I was!

Supposedly it’s for the hot water tank and that’s in/near (whatever…) another tenant’s flat so he may not have to enter mine. Hopefully they’ll all be gone when I get home. I think I just need to crash.

Postscript: Oh, great. Now, it’s pissing down rain (was super, sunny this morning.) PA waits it all out or goes home and gets soaked with no brolly. Or. Takes.the taxi.

Important Statistical Update!

PAs Medscape Subscription Notices Unread: 121

PAs gmail Storage: 819MB (11%) of 6837MB

Nutcase Bed Poll Results Thus Far (See Right Sidebar) Total Votes - 27

• A Month Or More…Oh, Yeah! - 41% - 11 Votes
• I Have No Bloody Clue - 37% - 10 Votes
• A Few Days - 15% - 4 Votes
• One Day - 4% - 1 Vote
• A Week Or So…Yes? - 4% - 1 Vote

The first is up to me to moderate.

The second will simply follow its natural course. And it will have some influence by me in the way I handle my email (like finally tackling my Medscape Notices?)

As for the third…keep voting, kids!

More…GET IT OUT!!!

I’m giving more “linky-love” to to Gabriel… but it’s just working out that way. We’re not having a…well…we…don’t have an online “thing” going on. *PA giggles*

No, he said that perhaps Blog365 might be driving me mad. The pace of keeping up (and maybe everything else in my life?) could…maybe…I don’t know. Making me more bonkers than I already am? He suggested writing a post COMPLETELY IN BLOCK CAPS!!!

I laughed. Okay, maybe?

However, would that be a little hard on everyone’s eyes?

Well, I do have a fun post to write but I’VE BEEN SO FUCKING BUSY I HAVEN’T GOTTEN AROUND TO WRITING IT!!!

I spent HOURS RESEARCHING JUST ONE THING FOR MY JOB SEARCH (but it’s okay because I LOOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEE research) but I mentioned in a comment THAT I WAS COMPLETELY BUGGERED AS I HAD DONE NOTHING ELSE THE ENTIRE DAY AND EATEN NOTHING EXCEPT A BOWL OF CEREAL!!!

What I was was researching was having my business cards made THAT IS ABSOLUTELY IMPERATIVE IF I AM TO FIND A NEW JOB!!! What I found out was that perhaps the company I was going to deal with was a bit dodgy AND THAT MADE ME TOTALLY FREAK OUT!!! Why did I freak out? I HAVE A SERIOUS BLOODY DEADLINE AS I NEED THEM BY JUNE 23 FOR A MAJOR FUNCTION–SUPREME NETWORKING OPPORTUNITY!!!

I just went with them anyway and ordered them now. However, I thought they had a three day “Rush Shipment Option.” No. APPARENTLY IT’S SEVEN WHAT THE…I THOUGHT I SAW IT ON THE WEBSITE AS THREE FUCKING DAYS THE OTHER…DAY!!! Do the math from today’s date.

So if I give them a one day grace period…I JUST MIGHT MAKE IT???

Alright, I’ll be back to maybe not shout so much later. *laughing*

Oh, wait.  PA CAN’T DO MATH TO SAVE HER LIFE!!! DO THEY MEAN SEVEN BUSINESS DAYS???

Oh, hell.

OMG…I Fell Asleep Writing My Post!

No. Really.

I don’t think I have ever done that before. Perhaps saved and shut down baby Macbook when getting dozy but shit.

If that doesn’t spell tired then I don’t know what does?

I saved the first post–hey, maybe I can use it later

I just looked at this and saw that I was still writing.

Go to bed, PA. Go to bed. *laughing*

Merlin #1, Fix Me Up DEADlines and Bed…?

Okay. I really need to hit the sack. And erm…eat. My tummy is talking. So first the latter and then the former.

This is a very boring post–update, Blog365 sake…whatever?

I went to see Merlin #1 today. Yack, yack, yack… It was all about me and “Fix Me Up.” I have to admit, I was extremely scattered and very ADD during our appt. I mean, I did something that I hadn’t done since I had been released from hospital and just started seeing him!

I grabbed something off a table in his office and started “inspecting” it and sort of…’ohhh…hmmm…’

Get this. I’m sorry but you tell me if you think this is AD(H)D fuckuppery?

Merlin #1 just looked at me for a few moments quizzically as I rotated the object around in my hands. It was a carved, wooden bird. I set it down gently back on the table. Merlin #1 said nothing.

“I thought it was plush,” I announced.

Merlin #1 still said nothing. I looked around. I saw some some kind of teddy bear or something (Merlin #1 has a massive office.)

I shouted out: “That’s plush! That bear over there! That bear over there is plush!”

Okay? PA’s keyed up a bit?

Anyway, I went to “Fix Me Up” afterward. I worked for four hours non-stop last night trying to craft up a first draft of my resume. OMG. So, yes. Go to “Fix Me Up” to print off copies as I don’t have a printer at home etc… Oh dear.

I do not profess to be a writer but no matter, we are all our own worst critics in what we do? I was still editing my resume late into the evening tonight! I will now need to go into “Fix Me Up” earlier to print it off etc… tomorrow!

So yesterday I joked about my deadline or my DEADline which would be…well? Immediately, down to the wire…you get it. I said in “true writer’s fashion,” (or some similar), that would be where I would end up. Alright. I’m sort of halfway. I worked clockwise…well, you be the judge but technologically speaking, I DEADlined it, for sure.

Nighty, night…