5×5

Oh dear. I have four…yes four outstanding memes. One goes all the way back almost to the summer? Or was it the fall? Good heavens. I think I may do them backwards? Or…well, I think two of them are similar or kind of combined so… *PA shakes head*

So Finding the Light in the Darkness tagged me with this one. There are five topics/questions and then you have to tag five people. Alright.

Five Things Found In My Bag:

Well first off, this would be my knapsack or rucksack. I don’t carry a purse so let’s make that clear. I almost went to go check it now but I realised that would be futile. Right off the hop, I’m already having problems with this meme.

1. My migraine meds–I’ve been getting far too many so I can’t leave home without my Maxalt/Rizatriptan (and by extension the Domperidone/Motilium for daytime nausea.
2. Tampons. Well, come on! That’s also kind of a necessity, right?
3. Erm…this is where I either run into problems or I could shoot you a load of bull. Let’s just say I don’t know. It could vary from between what I need for the day or what I need but have forgotten or it starts off empty and then it gets full as I pick something up or stays empty because I forget to pick up what I need or maybe it has my brolly in it because it’s going to rain or it doesn’t have my brolly and it does rain and I’ve forgotten it and then I get wet or maybe I don’t because I have a hat or a jacket with a hood and that’s alright unless I don’t… Welcome to ADD.

Five Things Found In My Room:

Argh! I hate my flat. It’s like my entire flat IS my room. Oh, whatever…

1. French Doors. Actually I really like French Doors but I can’t use them as they are for my bedroom and my bed takes up basically the entire room!!!
2. My bed. I know, this is rather obvious and completely unthrilling but I only mention it because of all the “rollicking fun” we had about going mental (or even not being mental) and the whole issue of bed making habits. The “Nutcase Bed Poll” is still up! Maybe I’ll leave it there forever?
3. Two antique stereos. Actually, I really like antique stereos. One belonged to my grandparents and the other one I bought. Both are functional. The one I bought actually runs off radio tubes. Neato, eh?
4. A round ceramic jar with a cork that says: ‘Eye of Newt’ on it. *PA laughs* I got it from a friend as a birthday gift many years ago.
5. A small pair of bongos. I can’t play the bongos! I bought them when I was completely (hypo)manic. You tend to buy strange things when you are (hypo)manic.

Five Things You Have Always Wanted To Do:

1. I LOVE primates. *PA waves to chimpy laughing* No, really. I want to hold one and spend time with one BEFORE.I.DIE. A chimp would be the best but I’d take an orangutan too. Hell, any one!
2. Can a do-over count? And kind of a continuation? I would love to go skydiving again and then take it up as a regular sport/hobby. I thought about it after my first jump but it is so terribly expensive!
3. Experience anti-gravity. I know. There is a bit of a trend here? I’ve always wanted to be able to fly like a bird. Ever since I was a child.
4. Go SCUBA diving. And with a camera of course!
5. Meet Oliver Sacks! Oh, my! Oh, I would love to talk to him! I’d probably sound like such an idiot but that would be just so great! Erm…I mean to talk to him; not to sound like an idiot.

Five Things I Am Into Right Now

Oh, dear. Well, my life’s a little messy right now sooo…

1. Meds And Heads–like that will ever change, right?
2. Fiddling with MacBook to try and amuse myself…
3. Watching more of my anime as above and because I’m feeling so brain dead.
4. Writing but I’m not really feeling motivated at all to do that right now
5. Drinking lots or Earl Grey and trying to get my life back on track.

Five People To Tag:

Good grief. They’ll all probably say, “Get on your bike, PA! I’m not doing your bloody meme!” I know, I know… I’ve been so sucky and arsey and haven’t been reading anyone. And lately? Well, things have just gotten uglier as any of you “regulars” know. As always, participation is not mandatory.

Okay:

Cracked Head Blog because he just nailed me with another meme the other day. No offense, darling. Just funsies.
darkentries because he needs something to do with his time. Just kidding sweetie.
Invisible Emma because she was unreal and read my entire blog. So have some fun with this one honey!
It’s All About the Walls who I love dearly but probably can’t stand me anymore because I’ve dropped off the earth and haven’t read her blog either! I’m still here, dear.
The Knifeman (aka DrShroom) who is/may be one of the few med bloggers that still reads me? I love him too.

So there. At least one meme down. Whew.

Musical Inspiration?

I was tagged for a musical meme here from damewiggy. But I’ll get to that. Interestingly enough, my next post was going to be musically related anyway.

Now we all know how to get “free” (ahem, cough…) music. But how great is it when the artist(s) actually offer it up to you to download it right from their sites? Hey, here’s my music! Just take it!

I finally got around to watching the third DVD if the lot that I rented nearly a month ago. Unbelievable. Thank goodness for no late charges with returns anymore. Otherwise it would have cost me who knows what?

So the last was “Sympathy For Lady Vengeance.” It was quite good. Sort of the typical theme for the Asian genre–you’ve totally screwed me over and boy am I going to get you back. Badly. Oh, you are going to pay dearly!

Now, I am not usually one to pay attention to soundtracks. It’s enough for me to pay attention to the plot! And even more so when the movie is subtitled–as this one was. But as the film began with its opening credits, I was stunned. I was immediately taken aback and was actually paying attention to the music.

After it was done, I attempted to find any bits of it online. No luck. Well, here’s the reason why. You can download the entire thing from the film’s website! And this film was released in 2005! It’s all still there. But I suppose that’s fine as you can still rent it?

The soundtrack is mostly adaptations of works by Vivaldi but there are some other pieces there as well. If you want it, take it, I can pretty much guarantee you won’t be disappointed. I will stream one of the songs from it.

Here’s the link.

When the site fully loads, click on media and the zip files are there in four parts.

The second freebie site that I stumbled upon a while ago is from a group called Positively Dark. I don’t know if anyone out there has heard of them but I will stream something by them as well. They say that they are “techno” but I disagree. There are some “throbbing” beats and some sort of electronic background sounds but in some of the songs, there is piano playing that pretty much verges on New Age? I will stream something like this, simply to demonstrate. I downloaded a few of their things but not everything like the lovely “Sympathy For Lady Vengeance” soundtrack.

Here is their link.

So, now on to my meme. I have not been “meme’d” often. This is the third time, actually. Well, not including the very first where I just “meme’d” myself before anyone else did to get it over with.

If you didn’t click on the meme to read what it is about, I am to try and mention one song that inspires me to write. Well, then!

Here’s my answer: I have absolutely no clue. No, really. I don’t. In fact, I can’t think of any song that inspires me to write. I love music of all kinds–I stream it on my blog as you can see and sometimes it might get a little, well, who knows? But I don’t really think that music “inspires” me to write. And one thing is for sure. I can’t listen to it when I write! It buggers my concentration. It’s an ADD thing perhaps. Although, I am sure there are others out there without ADD that need silence or no distractions to write as well.

So, if music doesn’t inspire me, what does? Well, I guess “ideas” of some sort? Personal experiences? Both those of mine and those of others? Maybe just trying to look around and see something that might generate some kind of thought and then off you go?

So, it looks like this meme kind of went bust with me. Sorry about that everyone. But hey, at least I provided everyone with some music and links where you can download it? Maybe it will inspire you all to do some writing?

And I’m not sure who to meme so if you’ve been inspired by the meme too, feel free to take it on and write about it from your own perspective!

Am I A Schmoozer?

Well, It’s All About the Walls nailed me with this:

Okay…well, I don’t know if I’m so much of a “schmoozer” anymore. Granted with the (hypo)manic states of euphoria PA could really razzle and dazzle and talk someone’s ear off. In Bipolar parlance, it’s known among those of us who have hit certain highs as “that manic charm.”

That is not to say that PA is being boastful. It’s true, though. She’s been there and lived to tell the tale(s). Someone with Bipolar in a euphoric hypomanic or manic state…well, when they walk into the room, pretty much everyone takes notice. You’re oh, so chatty and friendly. Suddenly you are wittier than you’ve ever been in your life. You can remember every funny joke in your lifetime’s repertoire. In short, you do become the life of the party and people are like moths to your flame.

And I won’t even go into the territory of flirtatious behaviour and hypersexuality. All of this wonderful euphoria does have its downside too. Sure you’re the life of the party one minute but then you find yourself in a heap of trouble the next! They don’t call it Bipolar for no reason? Sorry–bad joke. I’m just trying to “schmooze” with you my dear readers?

So who knows…maybe PA’s still got a little bit of that in her–the ability to “schmooze?” As for the insanity of the Bipolarity well…it is a chronic illness so I suppose she’s still got some of that in her as well!

Now the difficult part. Who to pass this little trinket on to…I think it’s supposed to be five or something…let me see…

Well, first off, Cathy’s Place To Blog. Wow. This woman probably deserves all five of my choices. Oh wait…I thought of another pretty high powered blogger who could probably get all five as well. That is Moof. I see them all over the blogosphere and they know so many people! How does that happen? I guess you just have to keep blogging for a while, go visit other blogs and just “schmooze” with other bloggers.

Okay, two down…three to go. Alright, The Laundress definitely as well. She blogs and links within her posts like nobody’s business. If that isn’t a way to “schmooze” readers and keep them entertained, I don’t know what is!

Alright, just because I’m an idiot and I’m running out of ideas…I’m going to nominate Tales From the Emergency Room and Beyond. The blogger goes by the name Couz and that rhymes with “schmooze.” But apart from that, she’s got a great med blog and she’s Canadian like me. Heh.

Hmmm…one more… You know what, I’ve got to do it just because she’s “addicted!” Yep…that would be right, Addicted to Medblogs. She loves her med bloggers and they love her back! Now that’s the power of “schmoozing!”

Now I just have to contact all of these people and hope they don’t kill me. I think Couz might be the worst… I don’t even know her all that well! However, sometimes that’s the best way to schmooze, right? Just jump right in and introduce yourself!

Five (First) Memories…The Meme Continues

Alright, thanks to Sisyphus I have been tagged to participate in gloomferret’s self-created meme.

Now since I have a rather obliterated memory from childhood due to trauma this was indeed a bit challenging. So I decided, in order to help myself along a little bit, I’d create a theme. I’d make it a group of “firsts.” I wanted to write about them in chronological order as I a little obsessive-compulsive like that but I really need to save the last one for…well last. Because I find it rather funny. You may or may not. But I’ve always said I am not averse to publicly humiliating myself on my own blog so whatever.

1. First Cigarette: I was eight years old. I had a friend whose mother smoked and one day, she decided to steal one from her Mom’s pack. She asked me if I wanted to try it. Now I was terminally naive, gullible, curious–all of these things. I still am. I believe she had smoked before. She seemed like a pro! I took the lit cigarette and yes, actually inhaled and *cough cough*…but it wasn’t that bad actually. A little strange but I didn’t feel sick or anything. We continued to puff away every now and then until she got caught nicking the cigs and then, that was that. But a couple of years later, I think she started stealing them again so we started smoking again. Not regularly of course! Just every once in a while…

I’ve smoked on and off throughout my life but mostly on. I’m not really a heavy smoker. I’ll probably quit one of these days.

2. First Job: I’ve always had a very strong work ethic. I’ve pretty much worked and had an income for as long as I can remember in some sort of capacity. This one kicked it all off. I was 10 and I had a paper route. It was good because it was an evening delivery. I had terrible sleep arousal problems as a child (and a teenager) so a morning route would have been impossible.

I remember coming home from school and seeing the bundle tied neatly at the end of the curb. I would carry it in and find some scissors to release them and then pack them into my cloth paper carrying sack, swing it over my shoulder and across my body and trek off into my “working world.” I used a punch and cards for the collection of fees and might get the odd tip from a subscriber–usually only around Christmas time. It was a dirty job. I would come home my clothes and hands filthy black from the newspaper ink.

3. First Pet: We always had cats in the house as my mother loves them. We had one dog once. When I was about 15, my sister and her soon-to-be husband (now ex-husband…) had a cat and she had a litter of kittens–unexpectedly. They were trying to find homes for them and asked me if I wanted one. Of course! So I selected my mewling kitten from the brood, a striped little orange male and named him Rufus which means “red headed or haired.” Now apparently I had made a bad choice? Rufus lived up to the stereotype of having a rather fiery temper and being a bit crazy. He would lie innocently enough on my chest for a while and then suddenly turn into “vampire kitten!” Ouch. He was a real terror. Kittens normally have boundless energy but he was unimaginable. One day, he got outside and never came back. Bye Rufus.

4. First Attempt At University: This is actually a first within a first. While I went away to university for the first time (i.e. I have basically “dropped out” or not finished uni. three times now) I was stung by a bee for the first time. Yikes! Actually, it wasn’t an extremely bad a feeling. Kind of like a really bad needle injection.

So this was back in the day prior to all of this fancy technology and you had to run around and line up and sign up for your courses. And if they were full, you had to run around and find another line and hope you got into that one. So it was a warm fall day and I was in a T-shirt and shorts. I sat down to take a break on some steps. Well, I guess a bee had somehow managed to crawl inside my shorts and when I sat down…yep! Pretty much stung me right on my ass! Now you’d think that would be bad enough? Well, after I’d realized what happened and I saw the little bee who’d now lost it’s stinger sort of drunkenly meander out of my shorts to go off and die I sat there for a minute and…I started to feel a little funny. I started to feel kind of dizzy and my breathing became slightly laboured and I thought, oh shit…

I found the Nurse’s Office on campus and I told them what happened and that I wasn’t feeling quite right. The asked me to drop my shorts so they could have a look. They removed the stinger and applied something to me to soothe the affected area and just monitored me. I started to feel a bit better in about 20min. or so. I’ve been a little concerned about bees ever since. I’m not sure if I had a minor allergic reaction or not but I know that with successive stings they can get worse.

5. First Time Having Sexual Intercourse (i.e. Loss of Virginity): Okay, I know what you’re all thinking here. But I had to post about this because it came back to haunt me 10 years later and I really find it funny. And it’s also funny because I’m a dope. Now there are five other people involved so you have to kind of pay attention–and no, I did not lose my viginity with five people!

Alright so there is B. (male), C. (my cousin- female), JI (male), JII (male) and P. (female.)

I was on my way to visit my cousin, C. who lived a fair distance away from me. Now prior to that I had visited her and met B. During that visit, I had also met JI and P. They were all very nice. But during that visit, B. really flipped me out as he had expressed interest in me and kissed me. Now I was a total, introverted, loser, spaz as a teenager (and child.) I didn’t know what to do with that. So for this next visit, I was talking to B. on the phone and he was still expressing interest in me, telling me he missed me and all sorts of things and that he also had a “new girlfriend” and that “he knew I’d really like her…” Okay, remember #1? I said I was terminally naive and gullible? I thought he meant me!

So I arrive and I find out that he is actually dating my cousin C! I am mortified. I feel humiliated and stupid. They realize that something is wrong and I confess. They are supportive and say that actually, they have someone in mind for me–JI. Huh? So I am “set up” with JI. Now JI is nice and cute and all of that but he’s basically a total stranger. And I am just totally strange.

We had plans to go to “the city” to see The Cure that weekend. We were going to stay at JII’s home. Now JII had it really bad for P. But P. could not stand JII. So there we all were, three “nice little couples” partying it up at JII’s place (parents in absentia.) We were all pissed drunk and finally it’s time to go to bed. We are all somehow relegated off to our separate “couple bedrooms.” JI goes running off to B. “Do you have an extra condom?” I’m like…oh, so I guess this is it then?

It wasn’t that bad. I mean, it certainly wasn’t good but it wasn’t completely excrutiating, I suppose. JI rolled over and went to sleep. I stared at the ceiling for a long time. A lot of things were running through my mind. I guess I was glad to have it over with, peer pressure and all of that perhaps(?) but I felt lonely and confused. The bedroom was very cold too. It matched the way I felt inside. Cold.

The next morning I think everyone was hungover like hell. I don’t know what happened with JII and P.–if they had sex or not. All I know is that they weren’t really talking to each other so maybe they did!

JI and I kept in contact for a while but we lived so far away. We probably could have had a relationship were it not for that.

Now fast forward 10 years later. I had moved to “the city,” was dating a girl and was spending Christmas Eve at her parents’ house. They had an old family friend there who was with her daughter. They were talking about the girl’s older brother and his name started with a J… I turned to my, then, girlfriend and said, “What’s their last name again?” She told me. I said to her, “Come with me.”

We left the room and I asked her where they lived. What was the address. She told me and I started laughing. I asked her if she knew the layout of the home. She did and I said, do you know where this certain bedroom is in the home? Do you know whose it is? She said yes, it’s the daughter’s that you are speaking with who is here right now.

I told her the story of how, where, with whom, all the circumstances surrounding me losing my virginity. She laughed her head off. So yes, 10 years later, I inadvertently met the person in whose bed I lost my viginity. Over a very civilized Christmas Eve get together. And no, neither my, then, girlfriend nor I said a word about it! I just kept looking at the girl all night trying so hard not to laugh…

Alright…so who’s up next? Ah, I guess I’ll tag SeaSpray

Memes…

When I first started Blogging (oh so few months ago..) I discovered these “meme” things that were floating around. They scared the hell out of me and still do. They sort of resemble, to me anyway, “blog spam.” And I certainly hate email spam. Although, there is kind of a nice one going around right now, I see: The Thinking Blogger Award. That one’s kind of flattering. I like blogs that can make me think. When my brain is actually capable of doing so.

However, as said above, memes kind of flip me out as there is this inherent pressure to pass them along. Now I suppose I could opt not to do so. I don’t know that many people in the blogosphere so I guess I could just pass them along to those that I do know and annoy the hell out of them but I do not wish to alienate my friends. Or I could simply hit the “next” button and randomly meme strangers? That might be interesting.

No one has ever “meme’d” me…yet. So perhaps I should simply do it to myself now and get it over with?

One of the more simple ones that I’ve seen has been “Five Things You May Or May Not Know About Me” or something… So here goes. But because I ramble, there maybe more than five packed into the points.

1. I’ve been skydiving. I’ve always wanted to be a bird since childhood so this was the closest I could come to achieving that fantasy. It was fantastic. I kind of like to be up high so I like to climb trees too. Always have. Maybe I’m part monkey and part bird. One of my favourite pictures from years ago was taken from a friend’s backyard party with me high above the boughs of a great big–I don’t even know what kind of tree it was–with a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

2. Writing: I am absolutely obsessive about writing in black ink only. However. I will copy edit and proof in red ink. It is so apparent that even my boss knows about it (and accepts it.) I can also write in reverse, or backwards–you might need a mirror to read it. This was born out of years of boredom in the classroom as a teenager. I’m a bit out of practice these days, however but still can do it.

3. I have a pathological fear of butterflies. And yes moths too but butterflies are the killer. I don’t really like insects at all but butterflies are the worst.

4. I have terrible stagefright. I always performed well on stage as a child and with a posible(?) eidetic memory as a kid I was required to learn an entire role for a play to step in for another sick little one in two days. I did it and shone. My father always had an interest in performing so I followed him as I grew up even though I was crippled by shyness. By 18, I became completely paralysed and could perform no more. I switched to direction instead and after my first year in University have not participated in theatre since. I often think of going back for there is nothing like the exhilarating thrill of performing in front of a live audience but I fear that my entirely messed up brain would be incapable of remembering my lines.

5. I failed my driver’s license the first time for actually making a defensive driving manoeuvre. I massive truck came speeding out of nowhere and I simply stopped short of making my turn into the intersection. I actually saved a massive accident from occurring. All of my parking, driving, everything was spot on. But because of the irresponsibility of the other driver, I was failed anyway and had to wait another n months to try again.