Hey Twitter People. I just got back from a 5 inpatient hospital stay.  Don’t know what happened yet as for some stupid reason couldn’t get MRI while there.

Doctor pissed off.  Me too.

Weird, unbelievable eye insanity, but other parts of body.  Plus being true emetophobe, actually puked.

Like, whoa.  That’s something serious.

Still having side/after effects.  My eyes hurt so much.  Seriously.  The whole part.  Want to rip absolutely everything from orbital socket to make the pain go away.

Also, I need to relearn how to walk again.

Seizure? Well…  For Days??? Rather, post-ictal for days.  No other things.

Time to put the zebra in front of the horse (stated based on medical expression.)

So too many things.  Need MRI to really see? Doctor and I have same idea.  Or similar.

People who have contacted or Followed me.  I will be back but need total rest for eyes.  So slow.

Thank you for reading. Do you feel ill now?


I knew I needed new glasses.  I’ve joked here about Bifocals but instead I needed “Progressives.”  So is that beginning of the slow descent to Bifocalism?

What I didn’t know was that some simple, blurred vision I was ignoring…well, I needed new glasses!

Erm…not so much ado about that.  Actually, due to the shop’s exam, some sample contact lenses to get me by until the stoopid guvmunt approving at least maybe some of what I needed?  

My eyes and vision and goggles and all else are very complicated.

I have crowed and now bitched about my PERIOD ANEMIA!!! Guess what another symptom is that as stated no clue did have moi? BLUHTFKRD BIGDSUM!!!

*sighs*

It all makes sense.  It was outrageous trying to do the exam.  I couldn’t tell what was going on.  Better? Worse? The Optometrist Woman was getting totally bitchy! *laughing so hard*  She told me she had another patient waiting.

The contacts? Oh, they weren’t even CLOSE to a WICKED LSD RIDE!

NOTE: PA has never partaken in or any form of LSD but she HAS heard from RELIABLE sources that it is indeed, wicked and pleasurable.

What it all comes down to now, is the same thing as, well, everything else.  Monitor for changes!

Except my eyes.  You never, ever, never, EVER mess with your eyes.

I called Sweetie GP today because it has been going on so long unnoticed.  Any change at all with my blurred vision and it might even be hospital time.

CODA: My “Upgraded” version of WordPress for Android on my mobile won’t let me access all of my Categories.

One of which is WordPress Sucks


I collected lots of things when I was a kid. 

Stamps, coins, fossils–or anything else I could find during my “Archeological Digs” in our backyards.  Including a lot of trouble for my ‘Digs, and a lot of Heatstroke.

One other that still remains is Playing Cards. 

How geeky is a kid begging and pleading for a French Replica Set from the 1700’s? The original Deck is preserved in Le Bibliotheque Nationale in Paris.

ASIDE: Pardon mon Francis.  Tres mal.

I was eight-years-old.  This happened visiting the gift shop of some Museum in New York.  I don’t remember which one.  We went to all of them?

So let’s toss my Aspie Jazz too.  Because we like and collect lots and lots and lots of things! And sometimes we even know lots and lots and lots about them.

ASIDE: MASSIVE Aspie and Spectrum joke.  Are we all rolling around on the floor laughing yet???

So I have a coin.  Almost 2/3 colour and quite high, or significant relief.  If you don’t know, relief is any part of the coin you can feel on it that is raised up–excluding its edges.

I showed it to a Postal friend of mine to see if it was simply in circulation (worth nothing) or minted not for circulation.  Apparently, some can accidentally get tossed in the wrong direction.

He said he’d never seen it come out.  Also, when it was tossed to me as change, it was in perfect condition.  Like nobody had even touched it.

He said keep watching.  If you don’t see any more, you might have something worth…something?

In collecting coins as a kid, some really old ones.  A penny from the late 1800’s? But not in the best condition.

Now, minted coins can actually become an investment.  Or a purchase that will become more valuable than what you paid for it.  Especially if they only minted a limited amount.

This should be fun.

Thank you for reading. Do you feel ill now?


Okay.  I have had it UP TO HERE WITH MY GODDAM BLOODY FIBROIDS!!!

Oops.  “Bloody” was a pretty dumb word to write there, wasn’t it? Nonetheless…

I just got off the phone with Sweetie GP.  She needed to be updated on some things she’s not aware of.  Some new things, LIKE RIGHT NOW!!! *laughing* 

Also, something new to me that just ain’t no fun and ain’t no fair.

Everyone around here knows (or will read now) THIS STUPID BULLSHIT has to do with my Fibroids.

One thing that is not uncommon is for women to experience heavier periods.  Although, with my long history of anemia, I joke that I now have, “Period Anemia.”

This is actually not a joke.  AND NOT TODAY!!!

I HAVE BEDRIDDEN PERIOD ANEMIA!!! EXTREME CANE ALERT!!! SOMEONE FIND A NEUROSURGEON!!! STAT!!!

I had so much to do today.  So much I was capable of doing today.  One thing I needed to do today.

Now, we’re playing “Hide and Seek Period.”  I spot so heavily it’s like I’m on it.  Then, that stops.  Then, just wait and count to 100!

It would appear my Fibroids have quite a sense of humor.  WELL IT’S NOT FUNNY AT ALL BEING OUT IN PUBLIC WITH NO TAMPONS!!! RUN TO DRUGSTORE CASUALLY!!!

I cannot count the pairs of underwear and other clothes, that I have had to throw in the trash. 

So, my Fibroids seem to be stand-up comics AND extortionists!

I have THREE FUCKING PAGES OF NOTES FOR MY NEW GYNECOLOGIST!!!

And speaking of fucking? This is the latest and greatest. 

I get INCREDIBLE CRAMPS WHEN I HAVE AN ORGASM!!!

That’s what I referred to as, “…just ain’t no fun and just ain’t no fair.”

I think it’s pretty clear to say that’s an understatement larger than our entire Galaxy.  Or larger.

I won’t delve into the three pages of what my Fibroids are doing to me.  Which they should not be doing to me.  Or any other woman.  In our Galaxy or beyond.

However, this is the end of the line. 

I REFUSE TO LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO HAVE ORGASMS!!! *not laughing*

Thank you for reading. Do you feel ill now?


I finally figured out why I’m in so much pain while walking.  It’s not me.  It’s this crappy cane I’m using now.

It’s in heavy duty camo.  Pretending it looks like it’s all ready to rock and roll (stand and roll?) But it’s not.  It’s making ME rock and stand and roll!

So off (definitely!) today to get a new one.  AND A TELESCOPIC!!! An absolute must for me if I’m rockin’ and standin’ and rollin’ in a good way. 

Stick it in your bag or whatever and then just whip it out when you need it.

This is now where I start bashing people’s bodies apart with canes.  Even to the point of disembowelment if they really piss me off.

I’m tiny.  Even though the packets say I qualify for the shortest height, I sometimes don’t.  Even a 1/2cm or a bit more will make the cane too high.

This woman said the one I wanted was impossible to use.  I knew that! That’s precisely why I rip all of their merchandise apart to measure myself!

Hmmm…how can we even up things? Make this new cane short enough.

Wee PA smart.  Wee PA almost disembowel woman in store!!! We almost got into a screaming match.

My entire problem is two fold.  The length of the cane itself and then, when adjusting the buttons to the smallest settings, it further elongates everything.

The one I found was pretty outrageous.  However, I said to her we could swap the existing tip for a smaller one.  She told me that wouldn’t work and: TOO BAD! THEY’RE ON SALE!

OH, BITCH.  YOU JUST WATCH ME NOW.

Looked at the cane tips.  Got down on the floor like I was a human measuring tape and voila! I’ve already been walking with it and it seems just fine.

When I left, I couldn’t give her what she deserved.  Lucky enough to be dealing with other customers for her escape.

Moreover? I’m one of those gals when if someone says I can’t do things that are without boundaries (and especially if I’m a woman???)

THOSE WHO SAID IT STICK YOUR HEADS FURTHER UP YOUR ASSES. 

THAT MIGHT SAVE SOME OF YOUR HEARING FROM THE BOMB I’M GONNA DROP ON YOU.

SORRY EVERY ONE OF YOU WHO IS INNOCENT BECAUSE YOU WILL NOW BECOME COLLATERAL DAMAGE.

NOW.  LOOK THE FUCK OUT ‘CAUSE HERE I COME.

Thank you for reading. Do you feel ill now?


I’m on my way to see my O2 Dude (that would be my Respirologist) now.  I’m out of my mind exhausted.

TEA!!!!! LAND HO! LOOK YONDER TO THE SOUTH!!! A kiosk where I can buy buckets of tea (i.e. millions and millions of treasure chests filled with gold bullion!)

My Respirologist quite impressed me the first time I met him.  That was only once.  Six months ago.

Actually, I met him before that one time.  The above was as an Outpatient Post Discharge.  Before that, I met him in the ER.  That was when they actually admitted me to the Respiratory Department.

I don’t know what visit to the ER it was when that happened.  I’ve actually lost track.  I think it was the fourth but going back just recently, I thought THAT was the sixth 911 call!

The sixth appearance of this idiopathic, stupid, die high fever, cough your guts out, pneumonia.  That won’t stop.

What impressed me so much, is that by simply looking at the x-rays, he’d isolated a/the portion of my lungs that were causing the problem.  Right lung, lower quadrant (roughly.)

I thought that was a way to start off our relationship.  Moreover, he was very sensitive and caring.  Another excellent addition to my current Team.

I have a boatload of comments and questions now.  Only a couple before.  Here they are:

– There’s a vaccine.  My GP can give it to me or you can.  Even though it’s normally used for patients who are 60+years old, I’m in a Special Population, correct?

– Given Symbicort, but I think I do better on Ventolin.

– Hold off on any Respiratory Tests unless emergent.  Stats, levels, capacity done last year.  Need to work on smoking in medical environment, plus what else might be found?

– The Isolated Area.  Lots here!

– Still the same? Changes in localized position? More of lung, or lungs?

– Which tissues are affected? Have more of them become affected? Have any effects changed anywhere else or become worse?

– If there are problems with any tissues are they solely related, or connected to others for a specific formation of functioning? If so, a possible collapse effect to other formations, thus issues with collective functioning?

– No formal diagnosis, but any working hypothesis? Any idea why this keeps happening? It’s all the time!

WHOA.  Not so great a Specialist anymore! Can’t find referral from my GP when she did send one.  Ditto for me to sign off for file transfer. Says I am not presenting him with any evidence of having pneumonia.

This is a normal  thing that happens to everyone.  They all get Upper Respiratory Viruses…

Hang on.  BACTERIAL!!! Well, for me.  Even YOU had to give antibiotics!!!

The high fevers I get? They can only be medically treated? 104°F? Oh, as he sneers, they’re not deathly.  Perhaps they might be for me, as I can get close to the above in one day.

A lovely example for you? Just to demonstrate the fact that it might be a problem?

Says to self: I think I’ll go to bed now.  Hopefully the coughing won’t be so bad…”  The least of my worries is when my temperature continues to rise while I’m asleep.  And I don’t wake up?

For the love of whomever!

It’s not only an emergency if a baby’s temperature starts to rise to a high degree quickly.  It’s just as much an emergency for an adult.  The only difference is cause/reference and effect/outcome–some of which can even be the same.

I am now going to extremely angrily run back to my GP.  Clearly? She knows more about this than anyone!

She’s also very Pro-Specialist which is a sign of a wonderful GP.  She is very aware of what is within and without her scope both as a Physician and what she already knows.

Meaning: despite a firm grasp of a problem area, it would be best to have it treated by someone who only works in that area.

Even still, she knows so much more regarding me, and my problems, that sometimes require Specialists.  We’ll talk and she’ll be all over my brain and body.  STAT!

And did I fail to mention this little piece of information? I called her office one day as I had a concern.  Could the information get passed on? I think she should know.

2100hrs.  I get a call.  She just had to put her kids to bed before she could get back to me.  Okay.

I can’t believe what she’ll do for me, and everything she already has.

I’d take a bullet for her.  Not just because I love her so much, but she needs to remain on this planet.

Thank you for reading. Do you feel ill now?


Asperger’s Meltdowns.

Well, generally through overstimulation.  Add some stress on top of that? Okay…

WHAM! BANG! SLAP!

POUND.

I guess the above sums it up.  The vague causes it is.  Dissemination? Dissection?

A friend with serious, serious problems and he comes to see me every day to unload.

It’s not like I don’t want to help.  I guess I just have a life with issues of my own?

This friend has Bipolar and unbelievable levels of OCD I think a diagnosis is absolutely warranted.  That probably makes his daily, morning visits more important.

My Inzombia is at an all time high.  I’m so exhausted, I hear my buzzer after some, what, hours of sleep and early, I know it’s him.

These days, I hit the buzz to respond and say I’m still sleeping.  Nope.  Too late.  I’m awake now.  Goodbye pillow.

Rambling.  Nonverbal online? Well, unless you’re yelling at your own Blog Posts. 

We ordered pizza at his place and thank god I told him what an Asperger’s Meltdown can do to you.  That awful, terrifying feeling of being so infantilized.  The crying, mumbling, whining.

My friend has members of his family, one Schizophrenic, one with Asperger’s.

He also has a four-year-old son.  That was the BEST way for him to handle me.

I’m still here.  Wow.  How long have I been Nonverbal? He’s playing games on his mega video system.  And I’m writing this.  Longing to go home.

I just can’t move.

Thank you for reading. Do you feel ill now?


The Business Contact and fast friend from the start.  This has now alleviated some of my grief. 

My contact has been made directly and personally.  This way, if I hear nothing I will know nothing.

Also, I will speak no more and our friendship is over with that silence.  I will miss her but I am fine with both.

I questioned if it had something to do with me.  I apologized for whatever it was if that was the case.  I would have been fine in her telling me. 

Also, if she felt whatever happened might have hurt or upset me? I still would have been fine.

I can only hope that SHE wasn’t hurt regarding what bloody happened.


Yeah.  What the hell does Einstein’s Theory of Relatively have to do with my INSANE PTSD AND NOT REMEMBERING ALMOST ALL OF MY LIFE.

Well, Physics is kind of weird.  Just like Neurology.  In fact, apart from weird, its misunderstood, like mining for gold in gold or vice versa and more.

Relatively is back and forth and forth and back and faster and faster and then a further link to outer space, then things get pretty messy–from a basic Physics Perspective.

Or at least how it started long ago.  People got really mad.  Was he some kind of heretic? No, people just didn’t get it.

Back and forth.  I don’t


A Business Associate and great friend no longer works at her job.  I found out today.  Via a bounce email stating that fact.

I went out of my mind.  I actually started searching Obituaries since she didn’t tell me and we had just been in contact recently.

Why did she not tell me while still working on a project together and I was to see her this month.

I ended up calling and spoke to her replacement, I guess.  I begged him to contact her on my behalf.  To please tell her to contact me.

He said he’d speak to his Manager, but:

“Usually when someone leaves and they don’t tell anyone, it’s because they don’t want them to know.”

I’ve had some time to think and I’m wondering if this is pure, ADULTERATED bullshit.  As in, shut your fuckin’ mouth to your clients here because you’re moving elsewhere.

She was too good at her job to get tossed out of there.  Fuck.

That’s the apogee.

I haven’t said anything about this.  The already existing HELL.

My Mom’s gotten the boot to vacate her house.  With one month’s notice.  That’s criminal but it was only at the beginning of May so it didn’t matter.  So much for her to do.

She lives a distance from me but I’ve been trying to get there as much as I can.  Squeeze her in between so many appointments, hop on a train and so forth.

Now, I might be kind of sick.  Is it just exhaustion from all of the madness of too much I’m trying to accomplish? You, or rather me, can crash pretty hard if I do take on more than I chew.

But with a short period of time to rest, a fresh wee daisy! Not now.  Plus things that…just don’t sit right and have never happened at all.

Sweetie GP and I are trying to solve the puzzle.

The exhaustion refuses to abate.  All I want to do is sleep during the day.  I can NOT sleep during the day.  Once I’m up, I’m up.  I must have a near death virus to give me an hour or so of a nap!

Doctor’s Orders: Do NOT sleep during the day.  I cannot tell you how tortuous that is right now.

Couple that with Inzombia, things get even worse.  Due to all of this, probably the craziest battery of tests to be done is a Sleep Study.  Another Borg PA, but for sleepies, not a quick EEG for epilepsy.  Yay.

Time to pass out.  NEVER!!! I was standing in my kitchen and weak, spinny, where is my head? Gonna go down… Can I reach the counter with my hand fast enough?

That was a whole new experience for me! And if you’re curious about my epilepsy and it being a seizure? Nope!

I only have one type of seizure that will make me look like I “pass out.” However, it hits immediately and I lose all consciousness.  I regain consciousness in a few minutes or a bit less.  An Atonic Seizure.

A couple of more tests! CBC which is basic and always done.  Then, specifically my ferritin to see if my anemia has gotten worse.

This is a fun one though! A test I’ve never done like the Sleep Study! Granted, much easier and not as insane.

Sugar Base.  Or Sugar Line.  Whatever you want to call it.

TWO HOURS.

Draw blood and measure.  Drink uber-sweet beverage.  Wait.  Draw blood again and measure.  Compare.

End Result? What’s the deal about sugar and my body.  If there’s an issue, what to do to treat said issue.

I’m also awaiting a ring from a new Gynecologist.  My current one is extremely unprofessional and just plain mean.

With the new Gynecologist, discussions will be had about having a partial hysterectomy.  I will keep my ovaries, of course.  I still need my hormones! This is not a joke.  If you had my uterus inside your body, it would be abundantly clear!

I guess that’s it. 

I should try to sleep now?

Next Page »



Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,908 other followers