Archive for December 20th, 2006

…How do you catch a cloud and pin it down? How do you find a word that means Patient Anonymous? A flibbertigibbet! A will-o’-the wisp! A clown!

So I’ve been noticing that I’ve been rambling a bit during my posts. Forgive me. I’m really wondering if getting some stims will help. Afraid I won’t know the answer to that one for a while.

And more imminently, How do you solve a problem like blogger?! I swear, since they’ve supposedly axed beta and they’re migrating people over to who knows what (I haven’t managed to see a difference although they say they’re making whatever changes to “certain” people slowly…guess I’m a peon) things are an absolute disaster today. Worse than whenever it was a few days ago. I can’t even view peoples blogs properly! So who knows if you’ll even be able to read this let alone comment haha!

Now where were we…yes, The Sound of Music. They always play it this time of year even though it has nothing to do with Christmas. I’ve never understood that. But I do love the word “flibbertigibbbet!” And I do love Julie Andrews too. Actually, I think I had a crush on her as a little girl. Yes, I am willing to publicly embarrass myself on my own blog. I also had crushes on Olivia Newton-John and Lindsay Wagner (The Bionic Woman!) And of course, this was way before I knew anything about my sexuality–I was just a little girl (not that little girls don’t know their sexual preferences, I just didn’t.) Dear me, I was practically asexual until the bipolar hit.

As I got a little older, I developed crushes on “fey” boys. Gee, if that wasn’t a clue? When I was 17, a boy I was dating broke up with me on Christmas Eve because he “thought he was gay.” Of course he was. Oh the irony. I caught up with him later on in my 20s after I had come out and suggested getting together for a drink. He didn’t seem so enthusiastic.

So I got to thinking about attractiveness and who I’ve found “attractive” or appealing over the years and vice versa. I mean, I am by no means beautiful. Somewhere between “cute” and “pretty,” perhaps but by “society’s standards…?” (thank you society for giving us women such a fucked up lens by which to define ourselves…) I don’t know. I just think of myself as painfully average *sigh* I look in the mirror though and think, Would I pick myself up in a bar? Nah, don’t think so!

For a while, many people have thought that facial or bilateral symmetry was the key to attraction. The press really took off with it and all sorts of “documentaries” were made, stories written. I recall seeing them and sort of fell into the trap? But in thinking about all of it today, it made me wonder. It may not be so “simple” as the geometrical designations of the infamous mask that can be applied to one’s face to actually measure the symmetry.

Oooh. Looks spooky, huh?

But that’s not all that’s spooky. Take a look at this site. It’s kind of annyoying so I apologize for that but even in it’s “annonying-ness” it just further demonstrates how scary it is and again, how everyone really took to this whole bilateral symmetry thing. This place made a business out of it. Yikes. Now I am not an advocate of plastic surgery but to take the “leap” of science and use it for your business to remodel people’s faces and then to stuff your pockets after all is said and done with the profits?

Here we have some interesting quoted studies about some work done re: bilateral symmetry and how it may not matter much at all–at least in terms of attractiveness. But wait there’s more! Check out the stuff on how women recognize faces during various phases of their menstrual cycle (both on and off the birth control pill) and some controversial stuff on racial facial (hey that rhymes ha!) recognition.

If there’s one thing that I’ve learned over the years it’s simply this: a good looking face (or whatever else suits your fancy) won’t help you at all over the years if you can’t communicate and don’t have at least a few core things in common with the person you ultimately end up with. Looks fade over the years as do a lot of other things that go along with “the physical”…it’s the mental that sustains the relationship.