This Is Why I Sometimes Don’t Like To Socialize…

So last night I bid adieu to my Canadian expat friend before he heads “home” to London, England. Our party was “hi-jacked” by a mutual acqauintance who brought along someone I had never met. My friend and another friend of ours had met up earlier for a few drinks before dinner and a couple of more people showed up after work. It was an odd sort of coming and going with peoples’ different schedules. I stayed out longer than I wanted and drank too much.

Anyway, during what I assumed would be a civilized dinner in a restaurant, a bit of hell broke loose.

We were talking about something trivial, music of our younger days, something to do with DJs and dance music and I had a rather strange tale about meeting a local DJ who still continues to broadcast a weekly show that we all grew up with. So I launched into my rather zany tale (it was a story that was fuelled by hypomania years ago) but I kept being interrupted by the server, by other people talking and laughing so I had to keep repeating myself, starting over. Something that well, just happens with a rather long story with someone who has ADD who has been drinking.

Well, doesn’t this woman, who I have never met before, launch a complete verbal assault all over me about how something must be wrong with all of us because we have no lives, are we all a bunch of “club kids” and do I still “do this?!” I calmly explain to her (had she even been listening) that this was something that happened years ago and that I was bipolar so no, I would not do this now but I did it then…

She cut me off and said that my story had no point and that I was just rambling on and kept repeating myself and…and…

So, I turned and asked her if I was boring her. She said no, that I wasn’t but I just had no point.

Well, that’s interesting because I never got to finish before I was so rudely interrupted. I told her that I would just save her the time of listening just in case I was boring her and end my story now. I quietly went back to eating my dinner and did not say another word.

Everyone was a little mortified and rather shocked. I have not been yelled at or bullied in such a manner since I was a teenager or younger. On my planet, you listen politely even if someone is boring the shit out of you, you don’t scream and berate or insult them. Or even if you do, if they call you on it, ask you if you are bored to tears then at least have the guts to answer honestly.

I’m still angry and hurt and feeling the after effects of the alcohol so life is not good at all in PA Land today.

My friend who is flying out tomorrow called to apologize today. That was sweet but it’s not his fault. I said to him that the old PA might have just let the person run roughshod all over her but the new PA won’t be treated like that anymore.

If life gives you lemons, throw them back at the fucker who gave them to you in the first place. Hard.

I still just want to burst into tears right now though.

  1. Anonymous

    WHO was this prima donna? That’s just so rude, I really feel for you, PA. ((())). Look, I agree with you; listen politely. You did what any sane person would do…decide that if that was going to be her response, you might as well keep quiet and leave her to her own agenda. She sounds like she has some, from your story. Life is full of “where the hell did that come from?”s, it has happened to me plenty times; don’t let her or rather the memory of her behaviour get in the way of your life. Don’t let her make you feel like it was your problem. That’s what these people like to do and if you let that happen she’s won. You’re better than that, you’re stronger and you can believe in karma. Maybe won’t help a huge lot, but hope it does,



  2. Judy

    I think you handled it as well as it could be handled. I ended my last conversation with a relative who was patronizing and putting words in my mouth by screaming at her. In front of my mom, no less.

    Not good. Really not good. You did much better.


  3. Patient Anonymous

    Thanks guys…your words mean a lot. I said to my friend who called today that if we were men, we probably would have “taken it outside” and beaten each other to bloody pulps but “women don’t behave like that.”

    *rolls eyes*

    I’m normally so conflict avoidant it’s ridiculous but I was just not going to stand for someone actually yelling at me like that, much less a total stranger when out with a group of supposed friends/acquaintances.

    And really, I’m all for advocacy but must I go into detail about all of my neurological disorders to this bitch who probably wouldn’t understand anyway?

    But inside, boy did I ever want to scream at her!

    I’m going to play DJ now and post somewhat of an appropriate song?

    Yes, I just have to get past this and forget about it…



  4. wolfbaby

    that totally sucks… one of these days i will learn how to stand up for myself… like you did.. way to go on that!!! some people need to learn manners!!!


  5. Chrysalis Angel

    I’m sorry that happened to you P.A.. The thing of it is, people like that don’t give you a second thought. Once it’s over they’ve long forgotten you, yet you still hurt from it. Try not to let that upset you anymore. I can understand it though. I carry things deep too. Best to you.


  6. Patient Anonymous

    Thanks wolfbaby and CA, I knew that I could post about this here and people would understand. I too agree that these people do act in such a manner and then either don’t give it a second thought or think they are justified or both. And yes…unfortunately the people that get shit on carry it around like a big albatross ’round the neck.

    Ah well, chalk it up to an “entertaining” story (one day?) I’m trying hard just to move on.

    I was talking to my partner about it last night and one of the hardest things is that it just brings back stored memories of being traumatized and that certainly isn’t good.


  7. G

    Yes, socializing can be the fast track to discomfort for many of us. Situations like this happen more often then people want to admit.
    The older I get the less I socialize. My wife loves to socialize. Three nights a week we have to go out to dinner with other folks, every weekend we either have a house full or are requested to attend someone elses house full.
    We live on the beach so we have frequent guest. Usually we have guest at least 15 weeks a year.
    I am ready to move to the hills and putter around a garden then attend town fairs once every few months.
    I digress … Any way this woman was wrong. She was out of line and it’s too bad no one else stood up for you and showed that they wanted to hear your story. That would have shut her yap. Everyone was probably scared she turn her venomous pitch their way.
    Good luck


  8. Hi G, thanks for your comment. Wow, it sounds you do a lot of socializing! More than I could probably handle.

    Thank you for recognizing as well, what I feel, what was out of line, I felt terribly awkward even saying what little that I did but at least I did it. Certainly no one else said a peep so what other recourse did I have?

    The old PA probably wouldn’t have said shit with a mouth full of it (a favourite expression of hers…) but I guess the current PA might stand up a bit more for herself.


  1. 1 Patient Anonymous: Just Another Head Case A Bit Of A Shock From A Friend «

    […] moving out, hospitalization–all of it. To be truthful, I was still rather upset about this incident that happened when he was back here last Christmas. And in that post I wrote, he did apologize even […]


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: