Did I Drink That Much Cream???

Note to self: put on glasses when exiting bed to dash for midnight doses of milk.

Sometimes when my stomach gets upset in the middle of the night or I’m in pain or even suffering a GERD attack, I’ll go running straight to the fridge for some milk. It’s the only thing that seems to “put out the fire,” so to speak.

Well, last night there was a bit of tummy upset going on. To complicate things further, I take a Hypnotic (Imovane/Zopiclone) to sleep so depending on when I feel ill and when I wake up, I can be really out of it. Last night, I was really out of it. Quite. Rather stupendously so after I had actually realized what I had done.

So I wasn’t even aware of how “sick” I was–which can be typical in a doped up state. There was no GERD, although I had been coughing a bit after this entire episode. However, as has often happened in the past, I simply wake up with an uncontrollable craving for milk. That is the signal to my doped up brain to get it into my digestive tract. I walked into the kitchen, opened up the fridge and grabbed the 1L carton and just started chugging! Ahhh…that was better. It wasn’t until after I had emptied it, I had realized what I had done. I had finished all of my partner’s cream for her coffee (I drink tea) and not even touched the 2L carton of milk (which is Skim, by the way…)

There must have been well over a cup of cream in the carton. How could I have not known?! Talk about being a zombie! I immediately started drinking some of the milk to somehow try to “erase” what I’d done. What am I, three?

Oh well, at least it was “half and half” cream? Only 11%? Not that I give a shit about eating fatty crap. I can afford that but it’s just my stomach! I think I’ve discovered a new fraternity hazing ritual. I’ve been to the bathroom twice already this morning and I’m comforting myself with lots of carbonated or “fizzy” water. I’m not lactose intolerant but I sure feel like it today. I feel like I’m going to throw up and I don’t normally do that. Maybe I’d better toss some “Gravol” or dimenhydrinate in to the mix. I wish I had something for the pain but that’s been ongoing anyway so ah, whatever…

I still can’t believe that I did this. As per my last post: meds make you stoopid.

Edit: My partner has been laughing uproariously, loudly and for way too long about this. She simply can not believe that I did not notice the difference between cream and milk. Even while drinking it! And that I drank that much of it. She is trying to get me off this computer and into bed, however. Alas, I should take her advice and lie down.

  1. Michelle


    Sorry, but I am with your partner on this one. That is fricking hilarious.

    Good idea about getting some sleep, sounds like you could use some after that. :)


  2. sisiphus

    OMG! I just do not believe it ! This is a really hilarious post….I am wetting myself and will continue to chuckle (not chuck..if I’d drunk that amount of cream I’d have chucked not chuckled).
    Thanks for sharing that experience.

    Sisiphus x


  3. difficultpt



  4. Patient Anonymous

    Thanks, all. I know, partner continued to laugh all day and all night long as I lay on the couch/bed, whatever was flat. I would have settled for the floor if we didn’t have any furniture. It is funny, and I was laughing too, however.

    I managed to stick with some clear soup and rice for dinner. I’ve been on the BRAT diet so many bloody times I’m used to it, though.

    Feeling more or less back to normal today. The Gravol knocked me out and helped with the nausea and I pulled out the Pepto-Bismol as well. Yes, it was that bad.

    We were going to try and go see a movie and I really wanted to but I just didn’t have the energy.

    As if my stomach problems weren’t bad enough already?


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