I Want To Be gloomferret’s Cokehead Supermodel

Alright, this needs some explaining, I know. Especially if you haven’t been keeping up with the comments of some of my recent posts. And beware, you’re about to be a victim of drive by “Drunken Blogging” just to make things all the better. I’ve only had a couple of drinks so it shouldn’t be that bloody a shooting–but just so you know. And seeing as I’m moving out and will be on my own soon…be on the look out…there may be more to come.

So last night I was watching Blow on TV. All I could think about was getting my hands on some cocaine. I know. What is that all about? And if you’ve seen the movie, the moral of the story is that cocaine is bad, it ruins your life and all of that. Well, I’ve done coke, it hasn’t ruined my life–I guess I’m a “recreational” drug user. And it was a long time ago. I’m still not saying it’s smart I’m just saying I had an incredible urge to snort some and could barely sit still throughout the movie. Even through the pot scenes–I would have settled for that!

I’ve never been a big drug user. Alcohol has always been my “drug of choice” but all of the sudden, I feel a very strong urge for “illicit substances.” This is kind of a red flag but nonetheless. And yes, my moods are a bit messed up at the moment. No surprise that this blog is reflective of that.

So gloomferret and I started taking what might normally be an email conversation offline and “on blog” and things just went from there. You can follow them all if you’re interested and there’s actually more than just “Supermodel” talk but it’s up to you…

It started off as a serious post ranting about my day but got completely tangential. I revealed to him how much weight I had lost and we talked about my appearance and the drug use and my desire to do coke and voila! We decided (sort of?) that I was or could be a Supermodel in the making!

I had the starvation thing going on (not completely by choice mind you) the fact that someone out there might find me remotely attractive and surely with enough makeup, some fancy hair work and even some good PhotoShop it just might work! Granted it might be limited to pictures only. I’m too short to do runway.

I’m still not convinced. I really don’t think I’m “pretty” enough. Who knows, maybe with some huge makeover I might look like something resembling gorgeous but a “Supermodel?” And let’s not forget that I’m 37. Although because of my size and stature I still look like I’m a lot younger?

Anyway, here’s the only YouTube that immediately pops into mind and it’s incredibly predictable. But it does take me back to my days at the gay (men’s) bars years ago. Back when dancing was actually fun(ny.)


  1. Nice.
    I find RuPaul very very scary.

    You can be my cokehead supermodel. No problem. Are there perks?
    If you need an excuse to party, its my birthday in a couple of weeks.
    Hurrah! (snort)


  2. Thanks gloomy dear. RuPaul’s okay. Just a little “over the top.”

    We’ll work everything out in my “contract” mmm’kay?

    A couple of weeks, yes? Mine was well…the beginning of March so well, I suppose we can combine the two…close enough. Any excuse to celebrate something?



  1. 1 Patient Anonymous: Just Another Head Case Fear And Loathing In PA Land «

    […] a kite like Blow. PA watched that and all she wanted to do was snort Coke afterwards and then wrote this ridiculous post. Anyway, it was silly but fun and gloomferret and I had a lot of laughs over […]


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