Archive for April 9th, 2007


I forgot to mention while at my GP’s today she mentioned that during my physical something else was “off” besides the anemia.  A “slightly abnormal” reading re: one of my kidneys?

I was too depressed to even probe for details which is completely unlike me.  Normally I like to know everything, what the test results showed etc…

So I’m to start the iron supplements and we’ll retest in 3 mos.  So what gives? Is my entire body falling apart? My brain–well we all know about that here.  My gastrointestinal tract–well that’s been ongoing for many months now and truly my entire life but now it’s quite severe.  But what’s up with my kidneys?

Or kidney?

*sigh*

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I was surprised to get an IM/chat invite from another blogger last night. It was someone I had a few very brief email exchanges with…wow, several months ago. A very nice person but we really don’t know each other. That’s okay, PA is approachable and not a monster. But as we were chatting, this person said that they wanted to know my gender. It gave me pause to think.

Now on Blogger where I last hosted my blog, there is a profile page (as there is here under “About”) where there was a space where you could input your gender. I did. Perhaps this person never read my profile? I quickly tried to recall every post I had ever written (which of course was impossible,) thought about the style of my writing, the way in which I presented myself online (my online “persona” if you wish) and all other things about my blog. Gee, I wonder if anyone else out there is wondering about my sex/gender?

Well, if you are, it’s no big secret. I am a woman/female. It wasn’t a secret on my old blog so it really needn’t be a secret here. And I’m sure that there must have been “hints” that I was a woman? Gee, I really don’t know? I mean, I do have a female anime character as my avatar but…well, maybe that doesn’t mean anything. And I suppose being “anonymous” I really could be either sex/gender and anything I write could all be a bunch of bullshit (but it’s not–everything here is the truth–I swear, sad but “true”.)

So now I’m wondering if I should update my “About” page to indicate that I am actually female. Does it matter? Does anyone care? Hmmm.

As for a general update:

Well, my brain is fried. I’m went to my GP today, we upped the Lamictal ever so incrementally and well, moods still a-swingin’ away. Not completely out of control but I’m definitely not a happy PA today…well, whatever. Nothing I can do about it, I suppose. Just wallow in it and hope that somehow everything will work out.

I can’t concentrate, am anxious and jittery and feel like I’m just watching life pass me by and have no control over anything. I’ve got to get my shit together for the move on the weekend. It’s going to be horrific. I know it.