Archive for April 17th, 2007

I know, I can’t stop blogging. I need a life. If someone knows how to find one or assemble one–please send directions.

So I went to see GP today. I cried a bit on the way and while there. Yes, still a bit depressed? This should come as no surprise. We raised the Lamictal up to 25mg per day. That’s the starting dose on the PI sheets. Sheesh. Somebody poke me when I start to feel something? I started this med about two weeks ago. I should have asked her if all was well in side effect department, if I could take it up another notch to 50mg in another week as I won’t be seeing her until early May. I know, doctor’s orders and all of that but I know meds, this one notwithstanding and I know me. And I need some relief.

Afterward, I dragged my tired self a couple of blocks to IKEA. It seems I have lost a glass shelf for a unit that I moved. They don’t sell the unit anymore but I figure, all the damn stuff is the same, they should have another glass shelf. Well, idiot post writer here forgot to measure the stupid unit beforehand. And no one knew of the unit in question because it was purchased about eight years ago. So I need to go back. And that sucks because it’s a real trek away.

So I also needed some pans and a pot that somehow got lost in the move. I bought those. Then I thought maybe I should eat something. For a couple of reasons. One, I was actually hungry and two, while I was at the doctor’s and she was giving me a bit of a feel–oh wait, that doesn’t sound quite right–let me back up a minute. I’ve been having some annoying lower back pain for a while and after the whole, “Your kidney reading is a bit off…” I thought I’d mention it to her. I joked that I was still peeing so I wasn’t going into renal failure or anything… She said the pain shouldn’t be indicative of anything kidney related but let’s check me out in case it wasn’t anything else or anything funny going on.

So as she was checking me out, she pronounced that I was nothing but skin and bones and I really needed to start eating. So I felt guilty and I stopped at a nearby McDonald’s and grabbed something. Now I could probably be the next Morgan Spurlock for an indefinite period. I could use the fat and calories, to be sure. But sometimes eating things that are large is still painful and difficult. I can basically handle grease and fried things in small amounts but I need pretty much everything in small amounts. And really, my stomach has shrunk too. But if you haven’t seen his documentary, “Super Size Me,” I strongly recommend it. I found his girlfriend slightly annoying though and some of their scenes felt a bit staged. Nonetheless, I think it’s worth a watch.

So while at this particular McDonald’s, I sat morosely chomping down my “Value Meal” and I looked up briefly as opposed to staring rather vacantly out the window. What greeted me was quite odd to say the least. And perplexing. And hilarious. It was a green…well, not a picture, but just this green, square “thing” hung on the wall. Not a painting or a print. Just a green square and in the lower, right hand corner in lower case font read the word: relax.

I just stared at it and then burst out laughing. I practically choked on my Quarter Pounder with Cheese! So when did McDonald’s get all New-Agey? And it wasn’t even a very “relaxing” colour of green. Or maybe they were reverting back to the 80’s with a sort of “Frankie Goes to Hollywood” motif? Well if that’s the case, they really missed the mark because those ridiculous T-shirts were black and white.

Oh dear. I wanted to take the thing off the wall and steal it! I thought it would look just lovely in my sparse new apartment. But then I thought I might rip it off the wall one day and completely chop it into bits. But perhaps not because it is so supremely ridiculous I’d just laugh every time I looked at it.

Wait! That’s it! That’s how it works! Brilliant! It’s so fucking stupid that it makes you laugh so hard that you actually do relax! Oh, that’s it…I’m going back there and grabbing that stupid “thing” off the wall. I’ll probably get arrested and/or thrown in the psych ward but shit, it would be kind of funny and probably worth it. Or maybe I could somehow paint my own version on some stretched canvas. It might not look as good but that might be even funnier.

Whoo boy…I don’t even now how to categorize this one. It’s a little all over the map and has a little bit of everything. And I think I’ll just throw in the fact that I’ve slipped down to the pub for a pint or two (I need some stress relief) so I’m doing this remotely. I’m still loving our free wifi around the city.

Yes, we all do it, it’s fun to see how on earth people seek us out. I’ve finally been online with WordPress to garner some interesting, humourous, bizarre and frightening results.

one citromag bottle in the ass – Well, no. It’s an oral preparation and using it as an enema would not be good. It’s also carbonated so it would probably hurt like hell. It’s also designed to cleanse your lower gastrointestinal tract so an enema wouldn’t quite get you there.

wristbands for bipolar 1 patients – Hey! Let’s not be exclusionary! Wristbands for all! That way, we’ll all know everyone’s diagnoses so it will be easier to know who to chat with at parties! Or who to avoid if we get scared…

sleeping parper – HA! Yep…that about sums me up right now. I think I should rename my blog this one.

oh shit i turned into my mother button – Indeed…we all wish we had one of those, didn’t we?

doctor fuking patient – I suppose this crosses some ethical boundaries but who am I to judge? I’ve never blogged about this so I suppose some random keywords as I do swear a lot. And no, I’ve never fucked any of my doctors.

oh my god i’m on fire – me too, sweetheart…

high functioning aspergers on a bike – HFAs can ride bikes. As long as their meds–if they’re on any–don’t make them lose their balance. I know my meds can make me a bit clumsy so I have to be a bit careful on my bike…so I found out the last time I was on it.

restraining techniques for bipolar child – Okay, I’m not an expert on either raising children, Bipolar or otherwise but I would STRONGLY not recommend this. However, I did blog in all seriousness about this.

how to add another head to another body – Alright now either someone is playing Dr. Frankenstein or…? However, I have often yearned for a head transplant or at least a brain transplant so I can sympathize with this searcher no matter how inane it might read.

eyes burn can’t walk seizures – Good heavens! And you can still type at a computer? Get yourself to a hospital immediately and quit reading my blog!