Archive for April 18th, 2007


So I just came home from the pub, a little later than expected. Granted, it’s maybe not too much later considering I am me and I don’t have to work tomorrow (and you’ve been following my blog?)

Anyway, I really didn’t think anything interesting was going to happen tonight. I just thought I’d have a few drinks, mess around on the computer and that was that. Boy was I wrong! I’ll tell you, you never know who you might meet in a bar. And I don’t mean in a “nightclub bar.” Maybe you have to understand Canada for one and also my neighbourhood? It’s very friendly and also very closed knit. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t just hide away in your own nook if you need to either. I do still live in a city.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I met a fellow nutter. And he’s a Pharmaceutical Rep. so that gave us ample conversational ammo just to get things started. But yes he is Bipolar too (or so he he claims) but he did show me a cutting scar(?) after I spoke about cutting as well. He also metioned an ADD diagnosis.

Anyway, he really spoke from the heart about of a lot of things. He spoke a lot about pain and about suicide attempts and really I don’t take that lightly. I guess, I am struggling with a facet of my life about trusting people so easily and having that trust broken. Well, I will always listen to another person’s problems or struggles and try to offer assistance. That is ingrained in me and not a hardship.

But well…again, I felt like I was yet being drawn to another disordered person that I couldn’t help and under the influence of alcohol so that sort of colours things a bit. I’m not saying that well, because I met another disordered person and we got a bit tippled we can’t relate because getting drunk when you’re “mentally ill” is a big no no. No, that would be stupid. I would never turn anyone away. But I had never even met this person before so perhaps a little caution was warranted. I mean, he knew I was attracted to women but was still extremely amorous! Well, welcome to dealing with men, regardless of your sexuality, I suppose.

There was also something very juvenile about it too. I find this happens a lot with people who are disordered in various cases. They just don’t know how to express themselves well…or “properly”…or what might be considered the “social norm.” But that’s okay though. I can deal with that and I am “guilty” of that myself.

For example. Tonight, I have been promised my new “friend’s” private school’s tie (as I love uniform parapernailia) and I am currently wearing the matching school ring. If we both can be functional for brunch or (better yet) dinner tomorrow, I have agreed to show up in proper attire to wear his tie.

Well, someone wanted to know how my evening turned out. Now you know. i’m going to try and get yet more food int my system and go to bed now. I can’t believe it’s this late.