Archive for April 25th, 2007

So while I’m waiting for the false fire alarm to stop ringing (yes, that’s relaxing for psych patients and great for sleeping) and for my laundry to dry, I thought I’d share with you some of the “ticked boxes” from my 72-hour hold.

Now in Canada (or at least my province–and this will probably give away some of my anonymity–or not) we call it “getting Formed” for short.  There used to be one number but now it’s another but I won’t reveal that because then people would know for sure at least my province of residence.  Or maybe that will still give it away but well, so what? Maybe by even writing this, by indicating the language, it still will but again, perhaps it doesn’t matter.

In the UK, it’s “Sectioned,” in California, it’s “5150’d” but that’s my limited knowledge thus far in terms of language and geography.  Anyone else, please enlighten me as I like trivia.

So this is great for your self-esteem when you’re going inpatient:

  • …physician has certified that he/she has reasonable cause to believe that you have: threatened or attempted or are threatening or attempting to cause bodily harm to yourself
  • and that you are suffering from a mental disorder of a nature or quality that likely will result in: serious bodily harm to yourself and serious physical impairment to you
  • have previously received treatment for a mental disorder of an ongoing or recurring nature that, when not treated is of a nature or quality that likely will result in: serious bodily harm to yourself, substantial mental or physical deterioration of you or serious physical impairment to you
  • given your history of mental disorder or physical condition, you are likely to: cause serious bodily harm to yourself, suffer substantial mental or physical deterioration or suffer physical impairment

The only thing that didn’t apply to me was that I wasn’t going to be violent toward another person and that I was still competent.  But basically, all boxes were checked so I scored well! 

Now what I find kind of interesting is that for all of my hospitalizations, I have never been given a copy! It’s like, neato! I have my own “certifcation” that I’m “certifiable!”


Alright, so today has been rather boring.  So much so that I’m back on the computer to give you all another update.

I showered today.  That’s good.  And I need to do laundry.  I didn’t bring much with me.

The food is killing me.  I need to speak to ex-partner as she is in the food industry and find out who on earth is the supplier for this joint.  It’s not cooked here–too heavy and too blargh.  It is really doing a number on my gastrointestinal tract.  But I am eating.  I need to as I have lost more weight.  Not a lot but a few more pounds.  I am now the smallest I have ever been as an adult/teen–down to where I was when I was practising anorectic behaviour.  And I’m not doing that now.

But I am in pain and whoo…I won’t tell you about the bathroom.  Well, I’m kind of used to it anyway but man, the pain is kind of bad.  And because of it–between the iron supplements (causing constipation) and the food (causing diarrhea) well:


I have haemorrhoids (again.) Yes, this happens occasionally.  It’s happened all my life as I was told(?) I was born with anal fissures.  Yay me? So I asked the doctor today for some Preparation H.  I am so laughing as I write this…good ol’ Prep. H.  We have a long history.  I absolutely hate it but it’s so necessary at these times.

Anyway, she said that varying bowel movements don’t cause haemorrhoids! I just about slapped her.  First she’s wrong and second…my ass doesn’t lie! Then she said they couldn’t get it and she’d have to “order” something else from the pharmacy.  What? Is there a ban on “toxic” Preparation H? Good grief.  I’m tempted to go run out and buy some as I finally have off ward privileges.

That’s the only good news today.  I met with yet another psychiatrist or two or something, a social worker.  Whatever.  They are going to review my meds, blah…blah…blah…  I don’t know how long I’m going to be here, same old song and dance.  They talked about some kind of addiction therapy.  I don’t know.  I don’t know much right now.

I met a young man (same age as me? a bit younger? I can never tell peoples’ ages…)  Anyway, he is being discharged but gave me his phone number.  No, I’m not “picking up” again in the psych ward (see Hospitalization Story #5, I think, now under new category “Hospitalizations” if you want to know I was a bad girl during my first–and no, not any cute girls/women on the floor yet–haha.)  He was apparently quite amused by my disaffected commentary on life and said I should become a writer.  Well, that’s a compliment.

Oh and here’s a hot one.  Ex-partner and I think her brother told her mother that I am Bipolar.  It all came out when she called ex-partner when she was going to pick up my keys/cat and ex-partner told her what she was doing.  Her mother asked if I was Bipolar.  Now she never would have figured this out as I have never exhibited any signs in front of her.  Neither ex-partner nor I had ever told her.  So we think someone slipped.  Oh well, I don’t care and even ex-partner’s mother is being supportive.  God, I still want to just die thinking about that too.  Well, maybe not die but it’s so thoughtful and it hurts and it’s just a reminder of again what is lost–even if she is kind of a crazy woman herself.

EDIT: Re: food…they’ve just come around with a menu so I can have a look and make some selections.  That’s perhaps promising.  Maybe that will help as since I’m new I’ve just been being given whatever.  And they still haven’t “ordered” me my lovely Ensure yet.