Quick Wigged Out Post

Someone else needs/wants the computer but I gotta get this out!

Flurry of phone calls tonight.  Talked to my sister, ex-boyfriend/threesome-boy left a message so I told him where I was as he wanted to get together “for a drink”–haha.  He was supportive so that was good but the BIG ONE:

I called my Mom.  She and her husband weren’t home but I left a long enough message to tell her just about everything.  It basically included where I was, that ex-partner and I had broken up, that I moved, that things had gotten out of control with my moods and impulsivity and that I had always been afraid to call her when I’ve been hospitalized but because we’ve had some good talks lately I felt I should call her and that it would be okay(?)

Crap.  I don’t know if this will alleviate my anxiety or just create more of it but at least I called.  My sister said that if nothing more, I can expect nothing which historically is what we always get/have gotten from our parents.

Again, crap.

I think I’ll take my Seroquel and other meds early tonight.

Not to mention screamy-new-patient-girl is now wailing in the hallway about something incoherent and it’s just not what I need on top of my own tornado of mumbo jumbo swirling around in my head.

  1. SJK

    other folk can be a real pain at times.
    just try and concentrate on you.

    sounds selfish,but it aint.


  2. I finished reading this thinking that you are lucky to have a sister who was united with you in the struggle with your parents.


  3. Hi SJK, yes I am trying to do that. It is hard with a Screaming Mimi running around the ward though. And various other whackjobs trying to engage you. Again, it is a fine balance. The former I can definitely do without but the latter is okay as otherwise I might be tempted to just sit and rot away. I think I am off to watch another movie now–and yes, A COMEDY! It shoud not be triggery at all.

    Hi Joel, you are right. I am lucky to have a certain closeness with my sister although it is somewhat fractured and broken as well. Although it has healed over the years and we have managed to attain a decent relationship through all the truama. It wasn’t done until we were adults and it wasn’t done easily but we did it. She’s my big sister and I love her.


  4. thank you for keeping us updated pa, you sound pretty good. i hope you get good results from your phone call – but if you don’t expect anything then you’ll be pleasantly surprised if you get a good response.


  5. Thanks, anonymous mom. Results coming up right now. Not as supportive as you but…well, better than I had hoped for I suppose…to a degree. But you are not disordered!

    Thanks again for coming by and checking in on me. It means a lot.


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