Archive for May 18th, 2007


I’m debating whether I should number these entries as they might become an ongoing series just like my hospitalization missives?

Well, how long’s it been? What, 24 hours or something? I didn’t really know anything about this site but I guess there are certain ways you can contact people–relatively benignly–just to sort of say an online “Hi” but to really talk to people you have to purchase some kind of membership? Ah, there’s the rub. Unless someone else has a membership and then it’s free for you to respond to messages they send to you or some garbage.

Anyway, I’ve already gotten three little “Hi’s.” Now being the shallow little prat that I am, I’m not sure if I’m really attracted to the one woman from the “Intimate” section. I know, how rude of me. A couple from the “Dating” section have also contacted me. One has their picture hidden so I can’t see them. And it was weird, as soon as I posted, she nailed me right away…seems suspicious.

But another? It gives you all of these options when you send these little “Hi’s” and this one woman said with hers that “I couldn’t resist…” selection: the way you express yourself. Now I found this funny as here is the text of my ad. Now maybe I don’t sound too “crazy” after all but I certainly sound…rather…forthright?

“We Should Talk About All Of My Comorbidities First…Then You Can Decide If You Want To Know Me…”

So basically this is the deal. Bipolar, ADD, Seizures and Migraines. The last two are under control so not worth worrying about. If you can get past all of that, then we’ll be fine.

I’m basically into anything and everything to do with medicine but mostly a huge focus on psych/neuro. If you’re a doctor or elsewhere in the health care field, we’ll get along just fine. Actually, all professions are respected and revered–*********** is well rounded. Along with a love of science comes a love of the arts–and everything in between. There probably isn’t anything she can’t or won’t talk about.

I’m kind of a geek but I wear my geek badge with pride. I clean up well too, though, so we can definitely go out to nice restaurants and the theatre etc… Lately I’ve been arseing around and dressing like a slob just because I can but I do believe in wearing clothes for the occasion.

Brains are key. But come on, looks are important too. I may be a nutcase but I’m an honest one. But I’m not looking for a relationship…remember, I’m pretty messed up in the head, right *wink* Everything’s negotiable though–maybe you might like to fool around, have sex…maybe we will click but shit, I can’t jump into anything. Wow, no more of that!

For now, just looking to meet people and you know, the percentages of mental illness are actually higher than most people think, so if you’re a pretty woman who is also sharing similar issues, maybe there will be a spark? If not, we can certainly sit around and talk about meds and therapy.

I just ticked off a couple of the options as I found them all painfully generic. Let’s simply say I’m “open minded” and very eclectic. The ones for “Intimate Encounters” were much more fun but…well, I filled out an ad there too *grin*

And sorry, no picture but I guess I’m somewhere between “cute” and “pretty?” I certainly don’t have any problems attracting men in pubs/bars these days? Sheesh.

Now this is a slightly edited version of the original but it’s basically the same that I posted. Yes, you like the way I express myself, do you? The ad for the “Intimate” section is basically the same but a lot shorter and it’s slightly different as it’s geared all toward sex. I also made an edit as I thought I sounded a bit harsh. Okay, whatever.

Now a couple of things. This is bloody addictive. I don’t know which is worse–online dating or blogging. And I should know this as I’ve had three relationships form (and obviously dissolve) via online services.

Second? Why the hell am I doing this? Am I truly mad??? I was talking to someone via email the other day and I said that I didn’t even know my ass from my elbow enough to decide whether or not to go back to work. And honestly, probably a lot more! I’m feeling rather socially retarded right now. How on earth do I actually expect myself to get my shit together enough to go out and actually meet a woman?!

I mean, the best I’ve been able to do is go down to the pub at the end of the street (where I do go in looking like sheer hell) and sit and drink pints and talk to the locals there. It’s a small Irish Pub and seems to generally house a bunch of regular barflies, one of which I am quickly becoming–sad but true. I come home with all of these phone numbers and business cards from these men (sorry guys, you know I love you all but I just don’t get it when I look like such utter shite.) It must be the alcohol. And numbers? More men in the pub than women? Oh well, whatever. Who cares. If you’re nice maybe we can be friends but when you get all sexual and disgusting and keep telling me how much you want to have sex with me despite me repeating over and over I’m a lesbian, fuck off! Sorry but it’s rather tiresome. Again, I should stop going to the pub, right?

But yes, this whole personal ad thing. I sent a few “Hi’s” out myself tonight too. Why did I do that?! It is true. I am mad.

Fuck, I think the whole thing is/was a grand mistake! Little PA’s getting scared now! I didn’t think anyone would respond and I probably shouldn’t be contacting anyone either!

Remember this? Well I still feel the same way!