Extended Vacation

Well, I popped down to work this morning to meet with our OHS nurse. I was nervous and felt very nauseous. Perhaps that was a sign? We talked for about an hour. It seems she feels that I am not fit to return to work *laughing* Oh dear…just when PA was getting all prepared to head back next week. Well, it looks like I’ll be able to enjoy some more time off? I actually did start to laugh in her office. I’m not quite sure why but it was just sort of an automatic reaction to how ludicrous my life seems right now. Racing back and forth to appointments, titrating meds, still wondering if I need to tinker with them, trying to gauge how I’m feeling, scrutinizing every little thing about myself it seems *sigh*…

I have mixed feelings about this woman. She tends to sort of have this air about her that she knows everything. She really doesn’t. Well, I mean nobody does but you all understand what I’m saying, right? PA knows more than most doctors (or so some people have told her–I’m not being egotistical, really.) So PA told this nurse all about her psych/neuro profile, her meds…blah, blah, blah… The woman was actually pretty good and said she needed to do some research. Again, PA’s so complicated she’s confusing everyone! HA! I love it when I confuse medical professionals. It makes me proud.

Also, we have a doctor that comes in where I work, I think once a week? She is going to consult with him to see if he knows of any psychiatrists that may be taking new patients. I am to go back next week and meet with them both. That is good. PA needs all the resources she can get right now.

After that, I went upstairs to see, well, one of my bosses–my more senior boss. She’s great. We chatted for a bit and I brought her up to speed. We hugged and I was off. I didn’t really feel like talking to my colleagues although I certainly could have. They are a stellar group and they all care about me. I’ve even received a couple of phone calls from them wondering where on earth I have been. The one person I spoke to I told, of course. I’m honest at work about my illnesses, being gay etc…

So after I left, I went to fill my Lamictal prescription. I popped a pill right in the middle of the drugstore. Okay, time to get well! I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself after that. I walked around the downtown core a bit…hmmm, oh yes, I need to get my Driver’s License changed. It still has my old address. Let’s do that. I still need to take care of a lot of personal administrivia.

Oh, I know! Time for some retail therapy! And I know just what I want…

PA decided to spend the remainder of her inheritance that she received from her mother recently (and maybe a little bit more haha.) So she bought a Digital SLR camera! Oh it’s lovely…now she just has to figure out how to use it.

Ex-partner had a digital camera but it was somewhat small and not an SLR. It was good and sort of mimiced an SLR in style but it was too small! PA can’t hold cameras that are too small! And certainly not those itty bitty digital cameras! Now PA is small, yes but she’s not itty bitty. Well, maybe relatively but no matter.

I’ve had SLR cameras ever since I was 14 years old. I am used to them and they fit very comfortably in my hands. I like the size and the weight of them. They just feel good and right. Yes, I am very tactile. And especially with something like photography, if you’re shooting with something that you can’t manipulate properly or see through or whatever, do you really think it’s going to work or you’re going to produce anything? Not that I may produce anything decent anyway…

I spoke to the gentleman there and couldn’t decide between a Canon or a Nikon. I’ve owned Nikons all my life. I’ve had three of them (just upgraded as the technology improved.) I still have my film one (an F601 for any camera buffs out there) and he suggested I trade it in to save some money but no way. I still love my film! I’ve always actually wanted my own darkroom but really, you can do it in your bathroom if you want to. I’ve just never gotten around to actually trying it. So I opted to just go with what I know. He said there wasn’t much difference; it was just personal preference. Also, the one Nikon I purchased was the only one that came as a package with the lens included. All of the others? You had to buy the damn lens on top of the body. I think that made my decision a bit easier.

But then of course there were the memory cards. There was a sale so I got two 1GB. That should cover me for a few hundred pics? I guess I’d better get out there and start shooting. I can’t have that many of my cat! I suppose I could do some self-portraits? Oh dear, PA is not that vain. And now I need Mac Guru to get his ass down here and install PhotoShop? The software they give you with the cameras is generally pretty useless. So perhaps if I actually do shoot anything that doesn’t look like crap, I’ll dump it into Flickr and widget it up here.

And note to D. If you want to take that vacation, I can still pull it off haha. It’s got to wait until I finish all of that outpatient jazz anyway. I’ve more vacation time than I know what to do with and well, not more money than I know what to do with but again, shouldn’t be a problem? *goofy grin*

  1. Hi PA – Glad to here things are going better for you. I haven’t been here in a while and so I am wondering about inheritance from your mother. Did she pass away? Or is it from something else?

    It’s great that you have extra time to take off from work. definitely take advantage of that until you are totally well.

    I know what you mean about laughing. Last may, after the doctor had met me post -op for a procedure he had done he told me I would be going back in OR that night to be stented again and I started to chuckle and I apologized and said that it was just all hitting me funny like of course I am – it just seemed ironic to me and I realize it was a nervous reaction to it all.


  2. Hi SeaSpray, good to see you again. Thanks, yes I am feeling a bit better. Sorry, poor grammar on my part. No, my mother was the Executrix of my Nana’s estate so she was responsible for handling everything. There still were some funds left after doing the income taxes and paying off the accountant and such.

    Yes, sometimes I laugh when it’s not inappropriate. It’s just a nervous reaction. I always apologize after though.


  3. I think it is like the laughing one gets when they see someone hurt themselves – nervous laughter. although there is that side of me that always sees the humor or irony in something too. :)


  4. Oh yes, SeaSpray, I always laugh at myself when I hurt myself or trip and stumble when I’m walking along. But if someone seriously hurts themselves I don’t laugh. Well, I might if I don’t at first realize it if they were being clumsy or something. Only because I’ve been known to have my klutzy moments–mostly due to my meds.

    Humour and irony? Oh, don’t even get me started…


  5. Yes, I agree – it if was obviously serious like head split open , etc I would just go into help mode.


  6. Yes, you’re right SeaSpray. I actually did a First Aid response to a guy who had a head injury (they bleed like you wouldn’t believe and this one wasn’t even that bad!) and I really screwed up on my secondary assessment. I saw him later and he had a broken arm! I felt really bad but it wasn’t like some major compound fracture and he said he wasn’t feeling any pain anywhere else. Well duh. He had a head injury. It was the middle of winter and he had a heavy coat on and I couldn’t really undress him…anyway, he was fine.

    Good thing I never became a doctor, eh? *wink*


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