Archive for June 6th, 2007


Well, seeing as I’ve already blogged about making out with a woman on a street corner recently I may as well tell you all how the entire thing got started–not the kissing on the street corner. That was covered in this post. I mean, how it all got started.

I actually get a bit of a kick out of it as we could have ended up being sisters in law. Yep. That would have made for interesting family gatherings? Oddly enough, when we started going out, my then boyfriend actually announced to my mother’s family that he had every intention of marrying me after I finished university. This was before we had even spoken about it–or he had spoken to me about it! I was rather surprised to hear him mention it over our little Christmas get together…alright, so we’re getting married are we sweetheart?

So yes, I was dating (or involved, in a relationship, whatever…) with a man and this woman was his brother’s girlfriend/partner etc… Okay, got that? They (the brothers) operated a hotel that was owned by their parents. I had moved out when I was about 18 and at the time was living with the younger brother who had a converted room in the hotel. The older brother had a house where his girlfriend would stay on her weekends and longer breaks off from university. She must have been close to 10 years older than me? Rather attractive too!

Due to being in the hotel business, New Year’s celebrations were always pivotal. Both brothers were always running around making sure the bar was stocked, servers were keeping up, tills had cash on hand, the kitchen was preparing adequate food and it was coming out in a timely and appropriate fashion.

This didn’t always leave L. an I a lot of time to spend with our respective partners. That was okay. We knew the business after so long. Frequent interruptions through dinner, drinks and just talking were the norm.

I can’t recall if the boys’ parents were there that night or not. Probably. They always liked to take part in any large function at either of their hotel properties (they held two.)

Well, L. and I took to drinking and the odd spin around the dance floor to simply keep ourselves amused. It was a free bar, after all–well for us. All we had to say was put it on “the boys'” tab and we were covered. Since they essentially owned the place it was free for them, right?

So, at one point, I had to go to the bathroom. I did and L. said she would join me. After leaving the stalls and bit of primping (these were always dressy affairs) L. turned to PA and said, “I could just kiss you right now!”

Check PA out. Without missing a beat, she replies: “Well, why don’t you then…” HA! It was like a well rehearsed movie line–or perhaps from a very bad B-movie.

So L. did. And my knees buckled (almost–I could still stand–barely) but my head spun, my heart raced…you name it, I think every vital organ was either responding–or about to shut down? We continued but then stopped lest anyone come in to use the facilities but I was rather stunned for the rest of the evening and I think drank myself into a stupor–or maybe I couldn’t because I was completely drunk on something else. After that, endless flirting the entire night and later while the boys were left to clean up and take care of business long after Auld Lang Syne had passed, I got changed and walked down the corridor to where L. and big brother were staying (of course after drinking all night, they booked a room.) She told me to come by and chat.

Oh heavens! There she lay naked in bed waiting for me! I apologize…I don’t mean for this to be turning into some kind of p0rn piece on my blog… I was completely stunned. At first by her brazenness but then by her beauty. All I wanted was just to kiss her again. I think she was drunker than I was. So we did kiss again but nothing progressed further. We were interrupted by big brother entering the room. I’m tempted to type Big Brother in reference to 1984–were we being watched? L. went flying into the bathroom to grab a robe, I quickly began buttoning my shirt as she had started to undress me. That was it. However, over the years she toyed with me which isn’t nice but that’s not so important. Feh.

But something happened that night. Something very important. It was like the lights were turned on. It was like my eyes were somehow opened–I was blind but now I can see! Hallelujah! Honestly, though, it’s true. It had such a profound effect on me it’s so hard to put into words.

Now at this point I did not “come out.” I didn’t actually for a few years afterward. I still had a lot of thinking to do and a few things to work out. To be honest, I didn’t even understand what it all meant. Was I gay? Was I bisexual? I was still fairly young and PA when even younger never really had much of a clue about her sexuality. And let’s not forget the boyfriend. At the time, she felt she was in love with him. Perhaps she was? Now for any young readers out there, if there are any, please don’t take this as a slight but what do 18 year olds know of love? PA is 37 and she still doesn’t know much about love! It still confuses her!

But as time passed, her attraction to women grew. That is one thing that she was very sure of. And her boyfriend knew of it. In fact, he was quite good about it. He was several years older and a very sweet man. He even went so far as to try and “fix her up” with a friend of his that he went to high school with so that PA could experiment and try to explore things further! Now that is understanding! And no, I don’t believe any kind of threesome was on the table. It never went anywhere, however, so PA is not sure but she doesn’t think so.

PA went off to university and the relationship dissolved. Her boyfriend apparently had found someone else he was interested in. That was it. It was at that point, PA decided to “come out.” Not that she hasn’t “straddled the fence” since. But there are more complicated reasons for that. Much, far too much, than this post will allow. Let’s simply say that Bipolar can make you do some crazy things and make you act quite against your true nature. Now medicated, PA has no desire to sleep with men.

I’ve often said that the world is designed for straight people. You are born under the assumption or precondition that you are heterosexual. No one questions it. Not your parents, not your employer, not your friends that you grow up with, not even the person walking down the street next to you. Now, it’s gotten a bit easier for people to express themselves and be more open about their sexual preferences but a lot of people still remain hidden for fear of rejection, harassment or reprisal (even though they’ve done nothing to deserve it.)

I don’t. I don’t care. I don’t exactly walk around draped in a rainbow flag everywhere I go (or anywhere I go) but really, I am not afraid.

But thanks L. for that first kiss. You shook me to my foundations and got the ball rolling.

And for anyone who wants to know how “the boys” made out (oops…here I go with the bad puns again…) the older brother and L. got married. I believe they had three kids? The younger brother (my boyfriend) and the woman he dumped me for are still together and although unmarried had one child. This information was all gathered courtesy of my sister who still lives nearby all of them. I also heard from a long, lost friend from high school that “boyfriend” was actually asking about me not long ago. Dear me, we broke up 15 years ago! You see, I told you he was a nice man.