Archive for June 14th, 2007


Okay, again a little dramatic but a few things today that might qualify?

The cold/infection is under wraps but oh.my.god…welcome back to gastro hell. This just isn’t fair. PA is eating. That’s good, correct? I mean, physically, on the road to recovery, right? I think I was better off not eating. All of my previous symptoms are back. When I pretty much wasn’t eating, no pain, no gas, no wacky shitting…well guess what? Mostly it’s just pain and well, gas (yay!) As the iron supplements keep me pretty bunged up… still, there have been “episodes.” So what’s a good remedy? BEER! I know, PA is terribly silly but at least it’s somewhat bubbly and will keep her burping. It’s a great relief and I’m already in pain anyway so who gives a shit (ha, no pun intended.) Now if only she had some opiates…are they any good for stomach pain? They might just hurt her tummy more but at least she’d be so out of it she wouldn’t care.

But speaking of burping, it was quite funny when she was living with ex-partner. PA would always burp when she was in gastric distress. Not hugely. I mean, PA has never mastered the belch. Nor can she spit very well. Not a real “pig” is she. Nonetheless, she would burp a lot. Ex-partner was quite irked about this. Now PA has exceptional manners. You can take her out to the finest dining establishments and she knows all about cutlery and how it is all placed and which fork to use when there is several placed on the table. So she would never burp up a storm in public. But at home? Who cares? She simply told ex-partner that doing so helped relieve some of the pain!

So ex-partner used to also suffer from some gastric problems but certainly not to the extent of PA. Well, ex-partner chomped down lots of OTC antacids and might have had use for a gastroenterologist but she never seemed to care enough–she just suffered. Anyway, she got in on the burping game too and one day, she said to PA, “You know, you’re right. It does help!” PA just looked at her with a knowing look. Yes, we lived a charming existence together.

So that’s one point of “pain and anguish.”

I went to my second “group therapy” session today. I am still bored out of my gourd. We went to a local grocery store that sponsored a cooking class. Now, PA knows how to cook (even if she doesn’t eat) and even still, if she can’t pull a decent meal out of her head she can easily follow a recipe! Oh dear… So we all got to have a little taste of what they made and guess what? It made little PA’s tummy hurt. Surprise!

More “pain and anguish” on a double front.

So I blogged about Writing Letters To People Who Will Never Read Them As Some Sort Of Therapeutic Exercise so today PA actually did this. She started it while she was waiting to ride the “Happy Bus” to the grocery store with all of her group friends in about 15 minutes.  She then finished it in about 10 minutes when she got home. It’s 7.5 pages long. I guess she puked out a lot of stuff. Now it’s safe to say that this person will never see this letter but if PA ever communicates with this person again she will gladly discuss it? Or part of it? The more salient points? PA did a quick re-read and maybe it’s a lot of sentimental bullcrap and she’s still not sure if she’s any further ahead in solving the “conundrum” but at least she tried.

More “pain and anguish?”

Less “pain and anguish?” Akismet (for all of you non-Wordpress bloggers it’s the spam filter) is no longer blocking my comments and treating them as spam. Yay. My blog is no longer treating my like dirt.

Now on to the potential “pain and anguish.”

Back to group. The Recreational Therapist. Stop being so damn attractive and so nice. I know it’s your job to be nice but it’s not your job to be attractive. I know you can’t help the latter but both are driving me insane. And I know you find me funny when I burst into laughter at the most inappropriate times when you say things but I just can’t help it. I find group so totally silly. I want to ask you out on a date so badly. We live in the same area so it would be easy but as Deb said, flirting is okay as long as it doesn’t go anywhere or I suppose, cross boundaries. PA is known for “crossing boundaries.” HA! PA has no idea as to Rec. Therapist’s sexual orientation but there’s no ring on her finger so it’s fair game.  HA again! PA is again, incorrigable.

And speaking of dating, PA’s a minger, PA’s a minger! She’s spoken to a couple of more women and sent them her photo and never heard back! Oh, ’tis to laugh! She met a lawyer (nice…) but again sent her photo and never heard back! (Oh the “pain and anguish”…kidding…)  So many women are looking for “femmes” or I suppose “very feminine women?” Now how the hell can PA describe herself? She doesn’t exactly prance around in skirts, dresses and heels (well, I suppose if she was going to a wedding or a formal gala or a cocktail party?) She doesn’t wear makeup as she’s always been told she doesn’t need it.  Even D. who has been known to wear it told her so.  So I don’t know! I mean, I dress comfortably but when “dressed up” I prefer a smart suit? If I was completely rich I’d go for Armani? Prada? Whatever fit me best (although you can always have it tailored…) Well, if I was that rich I might have someone design me custom made clothes!

However…and this is killer.  PA’s been in contact with one woman (from the “Intimate” category *gasp*) who…well…hmmm.  At first, PA was a little confused.  This woman was from another city so she emailed her and said, just how the hell is this going to work (not exactly those words…)  The woman said that she visits PA’s city regularly and will be relocating here in the near future.  Ah, I see.  She said that she was interested in me because my “ad” said I knew what I wanted (how she derived this I have no clue,) that she thought I was “complicated,” (NO WAY!) and that I lived where I lived.  Then she asked if I was really interested (i.e. serious.)

Well.  First off, I took the “complicated” business as quite a compliment.  I mean, I mentioned before that I thought my ad would scare the hell out of most people.  So if anyone finds me interesting based upon being a total wingnut that’s a definite plus.  Am I serious? Well, based upon her ad, I think I can accommodate.  But I fear my physical state might mess things up? I did say up front that meds might be a problem but I gave up on goal-oriented sex (i.e. orgasm) years ago with meds.  Fuck it.  It’s not the Holy Grail Of Sex.  However, sometimes you can still pull it off (joke for the guys?)  But with female anatomy there are ways around that (if you want to know more–email me *laughing*)  Sorry, getting off point.

Another thing.  She has no picture with her ad.  Sorry! PA is shallow–to a certain extent? I mean physical attractiveness is important.  Unless there is violent “chemistry” but even still…  Especially if this is just going to be about sex! I can’t even believe I am venturing into this territory…  PA has never even done this sort of thing with a woman.  She’s only ever had relationships.  So I don’t know.  She may find me a minger too haha.

And another thing.  She’s bisexual.  Reminds her of someone she knows and still holds a candle for *smirk*  This woman has also professed a love of men.  Now the “gay community” (oxymoron) can and is incredibly divisive bordering on exclusionary or even discriminatory.  PA has always tried not to subscribe to this “belief system” if you can even call it that but she has never been involved with a woman that is bisexual.  True, a gay or lesbian woman can bash, brutalize and beat you to the core.  Has PA somehow subconsciously been “infected” by the bias?

Nowhere also has this woman indicated that she is interested in a relationship.  Of course PA’s brain is fast forwarding.  It always does.  PA said she needs to be careful of all this dating site bullshit.  I mean, she hasn’t even seen what this woman looks like! She could be a minger too! But she comes from a city that is renowned for classy women, at least gay women.  Always very chic and attractive.  And there is a certain “allure” or attractiveness about women (usually) that are bisexual.  They can be somewhat more attractive physically(?) but again, PA is not so sure about the almost flightiness if that is the right word and the degree of commitment of a bisexual woman.  Again, is that the infection of the bias? I suppose everyone is different as a person and that needs to be respected.  But PA has had it with being a sexual lab monkey.  It’s just no fun.   Who knows?

So potential “pain and anguish”–unless PA can keep her head on straight–and that’s not a pun at all.