Archive for June 16th, 2007


There’s something called a *bump* on online message foras.  It’s done when a reader wants to move a stale or older post back up to the top of the stack.  I’m writing again because all of my posts are shite and I need to move them down.  This, however may be no exception to the “all posts are shite” rule but at least it’s a somewhat happy one.

I called ex-partner again.  I hadn’t heard from her since my call placed last weekend.  I was just poring through more mountains of work email when she called back.  We had a good long talk and caught up on what was going on in both of our lives.

End result: basically nothing for both of us.  HA! We are both feeling socially isolated, we both don’t have any energy to do anything and we are both kind of sucking.  Or at least our lives are.

We’re probably going to get together next weekend.


I don’t know why I’m even bothering to make a post.  I’ve become a creature of habit, I suppose.  I don’t even know what to write about.  I recall my first hospitalization when my psychiatrist said after two weeks my boredom meant it was a sign of improvement and that indicated I was ready to go home.  Too bad I ended up being hospitalized six weeks or so later.

My bike pump has gone “missing.”  Someone reorganized the storage shed and I’ve looked and looked and I can’t find it.  So much for a bike ride? I haven’t ridden my bike in about a year so the tires will need some air.  I need to ask the other tenants about it, I suppose–and the landlord.  I’ve come out a couple of times and seen the shed wide open and no one around.  Was it stolen? Now why steal a pump and not the bike to go with? I’ve got a decent bike.  Not top of the line but it was expensive enough.  And bike theft is a major problem around the city.  I’ve had one stolen once before.

Actually, even my gear is pretty expensive.  I went a little nuts with clothing.  Gloves for all season, pants for all season, super sporty jacket.  The only thing I’m missing are cyclist’s shoes. I’m hardly going to ride in fall or winter but considering I get so damn cold these days I could probably wear the warmer clothes in the middle of summer.  And the bike pump was expensive too.  Not one of those pain in the arse hand ones but a standing one with a pressure gauge that fills your tires a lot quicker.  I suppose I shall have to buy a new one *sigh*  And that’s if I ever get out on the damn bike anyway.

I still haven’t gotten around to taking any pictures either with my digital camera.  Typical.  Cost me a fortune but that’s typical as well.  Blow a lot of dough on something and leave it sit.  Dumb PA.  At least the MacBook hasn’t gone to total waste?

So yes, I’m cold.  My body temperature dysregulation is driving me nuts.  It’s starting to get warmer here and during the day, summer temperatures seem to have hit.  I still walk around in layers upon layers of clothing.  Sometimes I do get a bit warm but I can manage it.  The other evening I walked into the pub while it was fairly early (again in layers.)  My black US flight jacket (which might I add, I bought in Notting Hill for cheaper than in Canada, even at the rate of exchange–puzzling…) a heavy sweatshirt and a T-shirt.  There’s a man–a regular–named G., a lanky Scot who grabbed me as soon as I came in.

“You’re bloody freezing!” he said.  Yes, yes…of course I was.  He grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap on the bar stool and said he’d warm me up.  Very funny.  Two people sitting on a bar stool.  Well, I’m light so I guess it was alright.  He’s a nice man and we’re “mates,” he always says.

A fair contingent of people from the UK hang out there.  It’s an Irish pub and I always order Harp.  Yes, I prefer  anything imported wherever I go.  Canadian beer sucks.  Well, at least not to people from the US as ours has a higher alcohol content than theirs.  God, go too Quebec if you want to get really wasted! They have a couple that I’ve tried, one that is called La Fin Du Monde which translates to “The End of the World.”  It has an alcohol content of about 9% and believe me, after you’ve had enough of that it will be the end of the world! It’s also sold in, I believe 500ml bottles only? Or are they larger? Crap.  Let’s just race to the drunken finish line!

True, not much is going on in PA land.  More dating site bullshit.  A 24 year old contacted me but not by email. 24?! Oh my dear.  I did not respond.  She had a photo and looked about 14.  Erm…no.  I was also talking to a woman and sent her my photo–and some other “details” about my life, what I was interested in blah, blah, blah… And more personal health information.  Maybe I shared too much but I don’t care.

I also requested that if the woman did not like my photo to please say so.  Others have simply just not responded and that is rude (as I told this other woman.)  Yes, my bluntness is starting to show.  Sorry, no time for crap on the site, anymore.  How long have I been on it? Not long but I think it’s already getting a bit tedious.  Perhaps it’s my impulsivity showing through or something but I don’t have time to get screwed around or toyed with.  Been there, done that.  I’m still surprised that I’m getting any responses at all but if they don’t go anywhere it’s just like a stupid, little game.  Maybe I’m just being assertive.

I had a rather interesting experience with my meds last night.  Maybe I was just really tired or something but when I took my Seroquel and Imovane (after they took a while to kick in) I was really feeling altered.  Almost but not quite, like a marijuana high.  Now, I think I can understand why people might(?) abuse their meds.  I’ve never had any pleasurable effects from my meds.  It was actually quite fun! Usually I just take my sleepy pills and sort of pass the time for a bit, maybe try and read as I find getting through all two pages of something very sleep inducing.

Oh and speaking of books, I finally finished reading one of the selections I stole from the psych ward.  The Mordecai Richler one ‘Joshua Then and Now.’  It was pretty good but I got a little lost with all of the characters.  And it was fiction so sometimes that’s a bit harder for me to get into being generally a non-fiction reader.  Oh well, I got through it.  I think that’s about 3 books in the last 2-3 years? At least I’m trying? I’m not sure what’s next on the menu.

Well, I guess that’s probably all I’ve got to say.  I’ve got some things to do around the house but again, boring, boring, boring…