Archive for August 3rd, 2007

Well, some of you can party…no, we all can but some of you might have a different reaction if you don’t have AD(H)D or aren’t on head meds. Yes, time to celebrate–PA got her Concerta! Basically, Methylphenidate/extended release Ritalin if you don’t know. But I’m not sharing! So you’ll have to find another way to get altered if you want to haha!

I swear, I’m so excited I can barely compose this post. I kept pulling the script out of my wallet and staring at it all the way back to work this afternoon. I just couldn’t believe it. Again, this has been years of fighting for me to get this med–or Adderall (mixed salts.) Hell, even Dexedrine which I nicknamed the “Boogeyman Drug” because everyone is so afraid of it but as perhaps a last resort it can still help. A lot of people are just too scared to prescribe it.

I wanted to take the script home and frame it but that wouldn’t make sense. You need to surrender it to the pharmacist in order to get the pills. If all goes well, I suppose I can keep the first little bottle as a trophy? I even filled the script before going back to work I wanted the pills so bad! What a junkie! I can’t start them until tomorrow but no matter. And I guess I shouldn’t get my hopes up too much. It may be a total bust but at least I can try. And there’s always Adderall next?

The appointment went okay. Actually, the man was a student of Merlin’s. Let’s call this one Merlin2? Pretty standard consult but my goodness, Merlin told me he sent Merlin2 a 14 page referral! Wow…either thorough or insane? Or maybe he just really wanted to drive the point home that I do in fact have ADD and need to be on stims. Regardless, I don’t care.

So yes, pretty standard fare. Some scales, rate this and that, a chat about hx and what not. Then meds. Well, here we go with my bloody cocktail. I completely geeked out in my defense. Well, not really “defense” but how they worked and why and this and that. I mean, I gave my typical psych/neuro speech. Merlin2 just looked at me and said, “You’re really intelligent.” I just said she was a medical geek and liked research. I told him that Merlin liked the fact too and we just sat around and had fun talking meds–at least in the beginning.

So on to the ADD talk and symptoms. There was some of the “H” in AD(H)D going on. I’ve been getting pretty restless at times and well, you know…being kind of bouncy and not being able to sit still. I was nervous too. But all of that fidgety business is typical even though I would be classified as “Inattentive Type.” A Space Case, basically. I told him that everyone was on board. My GP, Merlin, even my neurologist. Again, that I had been trying to accomplish this for years, that this is the worst it had been in years…wow, could I have sounded more desperate?

Finally the moment of truth:

“I think we’ll try you on Concerta.”


We talked about dosage and we both agreed on a slow titration–no problem there but we both were kind of…7.5mg? 18mg? 18mg is the standard starting dose. I told him Merlin recommended that and I didn’t really have a problem with it so we decided to just go with it. We talked about weight and I said to him that I had read conflicting reports about dosage in terms of weight vs. what your brain needs. Anyway, I jumped on his scale and it said I was now 100lbs. Who knows, who cares.

Now the only thing is…well, some of the side effects that some or most of you already know? The biggest is tummy. Wow, will I still have any desire to eat and will I drop down to an even smaller child’s weight? And will it make me all nuts? This was always the “burning question” as far as the Bipolar went. I know of so many people with Bipolar that are on stims and they didn’t go or haven’t gone insane. It might temporarily make me feel a little tweaked but all meds can do that. And with AD(H)D it’s supposed to get your brain to work a bit better? Not throw you even further into the stratosphere.

So as I was leaving–being ever so thankful–I think I thanked him at least twice! He said to me, “I’ll be interested to see what this does to you.” I agreed and thought that rather funny. I just said, “Me too!”

Crazily enough I now have two psychiatrists. How ironic as I couldn’t get one for so long!

And of course I’ll be sure to let you all know how I progress *wink*