Ah, Well…


…stats are down…no comments.

Stats don’t mean anything but I’m no stranger to people having nothing to say when you’re a mental case in the throes of hell. Again.

But really, it’s not like my posts have been incredibly profound lately either. And it’s not like they’re ever remotely profound anyway?

Don’t worry. You need not say a word.

Next song. See MP3 Of The Moment.

The Smiths–Asleep

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I’m tired and I
I want to go to bed

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
And then leave me alone
Don’t try to wake me in the morning
‘Cause I will be gone
Don’t feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I will feel so glad to go

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I don’t want to wake up
On my own anymore

Sing to me
Sing to me
I don’t want to wake up
On my own anymore

Don’t feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I really want to go

There is another world
There is a better world
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well …

Bye bye
Bye bye
Bye …

Later…

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  1. Symbiosis

    I too felt like a piece of shit today…eventhough my blog or my mental health had nothing to do with it…when you get up still upset abt a nasty dream how well can the day go…and it just kept getting worse and worse…so much so that at work i ordered my fav sandwitch and the delivery guy screwed even that…haha so the only thg that is comforting ie food was also MIA…anyway…i walked out of work and walked into a nail salon (ofcourse what else!)…and got myself a mani, pedi and a back rub all for $28…wow wat a feeling i feel reborn…I love NY!

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  2. Oh, Symbiosis I’m sorry you awoke from a bad dream…indeed, not a great way to start a day? *sigh* And then everything just kept tumbling down from there. It’s just like, some days we were all meant to stay in bed and never leave. Duvets were the best things ever invented.

    Oh, and a comfort food screw up! Another reason to stay home? At least you can prepare your own food?

    Well, a least you treated yourself to something that made you feel great at the end of the day. Good for you!
    $28USD…I’m trying to do a rough conversion but I still think that the Canadian Dollar is pretty good so yes, great deal!

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  3. tracy

    Dear Pa,
    I was going to write you about the etoh post and tell you how I have been drinking waaaay too much for waaay too many months now…at home, pary of one, in the late afternoon…not horribly drunk, just enough to lead me not to care if I binge and purge…or not purge…hence, not eating during the day, ’cause I never know what the night will bring…talk about a fuck up. So, I wanted you to know how very timely your recent topics have been, amazing, how do you know so well what is going on with me???

    Oh another note, thank you ever so much for the sweet reply you gave me and all the great bipolar info, I will definately take it to the psych with me, if for no other reason than to gage (Hi Johnny!) his reaction…anyhow, I truly appreciate you care.

    I am so sorry you are so sad again…wish I could be of some help to you, like you always are to me…

    Please take care of you, much love, tracy

    OOOOOhhhhhhh noooooooo, “Mercy Fuck” is goooone….and, for probably obvious reasons, I can’t seem to find it at any stores…!

    Like

  4. tracy

    Dear Pa,

    Well, I must say, I truly love “Sing Me to Sleep”. it is beautifully sad and oh so touching…I think I may even be able to find a copy of it out there in the “real worl”, eh?
    Hugs, dear, tracy

    no, I don’t have a blog…..a boring life, especially since all the “fun filled” psych hospital stays are over since I quit the “stiches and stalpes” cutting and Oding…hahahahahah.
    It just wasn’t getting me what I wanted , I guess, which was something loke love. Now I am just working a scut job, trying to handle an exhausted and depressed husband who will not get help and putting on a somewhat “happy face” for my 16 year old son, Sam, who has a mild form odf autism. That and books and blogs, (esp medical) about covers my life……nothing really interesting to actually blog about like you all….but thanks for asking…

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  5. Oh tracy, you’re such a dear. I should be working right now but I decided to check my email and look what I found! Your comments are so supportive to me as well.

    I guess I am in your head? Another poster (and blogger) said the same thing not long ago. I wonder where you live and if I’ve somehow been mentally transporting/teleporting myself there. Wait, that doesn’t make sense…well, sort of.

    In Star Trek, they used the Transporter to physically beam people places. If I were to mentally go somewhere I wouldn’t need a Transporter.

    Whoa. I need more tea. Although I REALLY want a Holodeck. Talk about fun! They showed all of these other things the characters did but you know what they really used it for *snicker*

    But yes…I feel like a big fuck up too. I think people have been getting that from the posts I’ve been writing lately? Either that or you temporarily bounce over to being too drunk to care. But then you later feel like a big fuck up again. Ugh.

    As for the Bipolar stuff (or other head mental diagnoses) any info you need, questions–I’m all ears. Ditto with meds, side effects etc…

    Sad? Hard to say. Possibly. I’m not the same as years before when I was fine being on my own. I used to be quite alright with it. Now I feel completely at loose ends.

    As for the songs, since you do not have a blog and email notification, I actually see your email address hehe.

    Don’t be scared everyone reading! PA is completely confidential to the core and does not and will not start emailing you unless you email her first! However, I have emailed another blogger about something of relevance that I thought she might be interested in. It was fine as we get on well.

    I will email you the songs. I don’t know why but I got all pissy and took them down last night. I think I am suffering from a wee bit of PMS (like you all need to know…) even though I generally don’t get moody with my cycle. Oh well, I suppose it can happen. It’s not like I become a monster haha. No, not that bad.

    As far as hospital stays, I don’t know if you read all of my “inside scoop” missives during my last stay. I had computer access (crappy PC for inpatients) plus a LAN connection so I brought in my MacBook and blogged furiously about my stay in April of this year. Yes…crazy but it was kind of fun(ny.) Or not. Sometimes it was several posts a day. I don’t know how any readers managed to keep up!

    I disagree with what you are saying, however, about writing a blog. It sounds like you have a lot to say and could create a great one. And just so you know, I am also familiar with the Spectrum so if you wish to talk about your son, we can do that too. For a period, I thought I was an Aspie but no…I think that would be pushing it.

    Much love to you too and if I’m all spastic and forget to send you the songs, email me and remind me!

    PA

    Addendum: I think this is really, really long…wow. Need.More.Tea.

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  6. “…stats are down…no comments”…..but we’re still reading poppet ;-) Just wanted to stop by and say hi and send my support. Fish x

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  7. Thanks, fishwithoutbicycle…ah, my wee nickname is out *grin* Still haven’t decided on yours although I was “fishing” (haha) through my Secret Online Resource the other day for something and found some rather funny terms…but…hmmm.

    Actually, now perusing some Yorkshire for you but whoa. Granted, largest county and several dialects? I felt like a complete “Claht ‘ead” going through it all. So there is perhaps the rather basic “Conny” but I am unsure if that is used as an adjective or a noun/name. And it’s the same as mine so that might be stupid and unoriginal?

    But if you are a “Bewer” and we ever meet, perhaps we can go for a stroll while “Oxtercogging?” I won’t push it any more than that and try to get into your “Kegs” or anything!

    Oh dear…people are really going to think I’m insane now…

    Thanks for your support, love.
    xo

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  8. Poppet t’owd lass, I had to look some of these terms up!! I feel like a complete doylem, but I’m not old enough to speak in Yorkshire dialect which is a t’ole other lingo, but by ‘eck I appreciate t’effort. Anyway ah’d better git me sen off to Pilates class ;-) Best F

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  9. Oh fishwithoutbicycle I’m not a t’owd lass…only 37! Just a decent researcher?

    Take care,
    PA

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  10. Poppet, t’owd lass is used more as a term of endearment these days than a reflection on your age ;-)

    Later hon
    Fish

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  11. Oh, okay fishwithoutbicycle…you see…sometimes resources can be off? When I looked up t’owd lass it said “old woman!” HA! That’s funny. I thought you were calling me an old hag or something. Again, at least I’m not a minger. Or so people think *laughing*

    I guess I could always settle with the simple, “Pet,” as well.

    I swear, Canadian English is SO boring. Although there were several words I found that we say over here…but you did “own” us simply forever…not surprising?

    Alright, because I’m still half asleep and I think I need a tea IV drip at this point–or hell maybe I should mainline it–pet it is.

    Talk to you soon, pet,
    PA

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