Archive for December 28th, 2007


Oh, wow.

I was making Shepherd’s Pie last night and crap. Everything was all ready to pop into the oven and I had a little mishap. I’d fried up my ground beef, added my spices and layered my veggies in my Pyrex glass dish. All that was left to do was mash my potatoes, put them on top and let it bake for a bit.

Now, I thought just to add some flavour beforehand, I’d throw some pepper into the mash. The lid on the pepper jar became loose! Loads and loads of pepper in and on my mash!

Goodbye Shepherd’s Pie as I only had enough potatoes for the dish itself–not a whopping, several pound bag. It was too late to prepare anything else so just grab something out of the freezer, throw it in the microwave, clean up the mess while awaiting the beep.

The whole thing reminded me of silly adolescents unscrewing the tops of salt and pepper shakers in greasy spoons or cafeterias so patrons can destroy their meals as well. Did a bunch of rotten kids sneak into my apartment and play a dirty trick on me? Did I in some bizarre, somnambulistic state decide to play a dirty trick on myself?

So, ready for number two? This might be more amusing?

Now, a lot of times things just fall out of my mouth. I mean, really ridiculous and embarrassing things. I’m not even sure how or why this happens as I am an intelligent person? Yes?

There is a cute girl that works at the Security Desk in the lobby of my building. When we pass each other, “Hello, how are you…” I was heading outside for a cigarette just a few moments ago and she asked me how I was. I told her that I was tired today and really just wanted to go back home and go to bed. As a follow up, this is what almost “fell out of my mouth.”

“…care to join me?”

Oh.my.god.

In my mind, what I meant was: Don’t you agree, feel the same way etc… Yes, something along those lines, right?

Oh, wow. (Part II)

Had I said that, it would have sounded like the most blatant and unbelievably outrageous come on. Or maybe it would have sounded rather smooth and sexy *laughing* I don’t know. I’ve never been very good at “picking up women.” Regardless, I am so glad those words somehow didn’t manage to escape my lips.

Oh, yes. And another reason that it was good I didn’t say that! There is a different woman that works on the desk and she is gay as well. I’m out at work–I don’t care who knows. I’ve actually met her partner during Gay Pride “celebrations” and she met ex-partner as well. So if she had heard me say that, I would have never lived it down!

She probably would have accused me of running around trying to pick up all the other women in the building too like some kind of sex-crazed maniac. HA! Well, unfortunately I’m not really a sex-crazed maniac anymore *sigh* My (hypo)manic days seem to be over… *wink*