More Search Term Madness

August 8, 2008 in Blogging, Boring Posts, Humour, Life is Stranger Than Fiction, Linkbaiting, Profanity, Uncategorized, You Decide

Yes, kids! It’s time for another round! Also, I’ve decided to backlink to all of my other posts that I’ve done, just so folks can see what else has turned up and what I’ve tried to turn into some form of humour. That will be the format as well, moving forward.

I’m still not sure what to make of this latest installment. I don’t know if they’re all that great, if maybe my brain isn’t feeling that “creative” or “humourous” itself but I’m going to give it a go anyway.

i need to vent on blog – Well, you could start one of your own or feel free to chime in on my comment section anytime! Bloody hell, I do enough venting here for perhaps the entire blogosphere?

get tired week before my period; feeling like shit on your period; why do i feel bad after my period – Alright. We seem to have covered the entire “Menstrual Cycle” here. Why is having your period such a drag? Well, your hormones basically take over your entire body, possessing you completely like you are another being. A demon, in fact?

Or perhaps you have been abducted by aliens and they are torturing you with wicked experiments? And you will remember what they did to you! You may feel wretchedly sick and be in immense pain. You may bleed like someone has stabbed you with a 12-foot sword. It may last for days and days. It may be so unpredictable that it JUST ISN’T FAIR!!! And will happen again and again and again… Does that help?

toad songs and rhymes – Oh! I’ve never heard any “Toad Songs and Rhymes!” If anyone out there knows some, will you please share them with me? They sound like they’d be a lot of fun! Yay for Toad Songs and Rhymes!!! W00t!

Coming up…”The Complete Life of PA Right Now Series”

• fucking nightmare
• fuck i’m depressed
• fuck lost my job
• my life is so fucked right now
• feel like shit
• tired of this life
• oh i’m pooped

let’s feel your tits – Oh, lovely and naughty “Researcher!” Did you slip this one in there? *giggle*

concerta makes me feel stoned – Well, dear…you probably don’t have AD(H)D. The thing is with stims, they’re supposed to make you focus and concentrate better–not make you high as a kite.

adderall concerta inspiration – Hmmm…as per the above, how much are you tweaking, my fair reader? If you’re getting so “inspired” that you want to repaint your apartment in an entire day (in every fluorescent colour you can find), bake every kind of cake and cookie recipe you can look up on the internet, have already drank a case of beer and a 26oz. bottle of liquor, gone shopping earlier in the morning and purchased 17 new outfits…I’m kind of thinking that neither Adderall nor Concerta are good for you.

blog derail – Welcome! I see you’ve just started reading: “Patient Anonymous: Just Another Head Case!” I do hope you stay awhile…hey, maybe even…forever…MUAHAHAHAHA!!!

what causes the body to randomly want to – Oh, come on! To randomly want to do what?!?!?! I WANNA KNOW! I WANNA KNOW!!! That is just not fair…

i feel like shit two days after drinking – Okay. Either you need to cut down or you went on a serious bender. It’s as simple as that. *PA wipes hands and moves on*

what scares you the most black vs white – Gee. This is a rather interesting one, don’t you think? I’m trying to think what this reader/searcher is getting at or asking. The Mad Magazine© Spy vs. Spy characters? They were kind of freaky looking. Dice? Dominoes? They both have random spots? Piano Keys? A black and white television? Monochrome film or pictures?

Shit. I’m typing on a black and white screen even. Typeface on paper or a computer screen? Wow, the more I think of it, there are a lot of things out there that are black and white. But the question still remains, which is worse? Black or White?

OMG. I hope it’s not some kind of racist question? Oh…please! Not some icky “Supremacist” lurking here! No……..! Go away……..!

therapy shoes – Oh, this reminds me of patient boots from before! Oh, I’ll just cut and paste from what I wrote in that post about “the boots” because really, it could apply in the same way? Yes?

patient boots – Yes, how fashionable! You know, I think we had a discussion quite some time ago where we could all have little stickers or badges to wear that were different colours based upon our diagnoses. They would be perfect for parties and such. Although, maybe not so great for those with Social Anxiety/Phobia. But they might not show up.

Along the same vein, black patient boots showed up as well. Now, of course–and I know this–there would be a huge fight among us all…a massacre even. The “cool” nutbars would want the black patient boots. I know I would! However, because I have several comorbidities, I would probably have to wear rainbow boots. And that would be fitting as well, because I’m gay.

Coming up…”The Dr. PA Consultation Series”

• am i fucked up in the head
• why do i feel like shit
• why can’t i believe
• i feel like shit what could it be
• why do i always feel like shit

Wow, there’s a lot of shittiness going on apparently. For information regarding my Professional Services please see this post.

puke “me burp” – I’m juvenile. I just thought this was funny both as a pure entry and the type format. *laughing*

aphasia patient fuck you – Now that is just not nice! Someone with Aphasia may not be able to talk! They won’t be able to tell you to fuck off back! Jesus Christ! Where the FUCK is YOUR backbone? What ELSE do you do for fun? Pull the whiskers off of kittens? Don’t bother coming back here you pissant! And that word is too good for you. I should tell you to fuck off!

hit head saw white headaches – Whoa! A white headache! This one gave me pause for thought. I reconnected it back to that “scary black vs. white” one, though. Maybe it’s the same person. Perhaps they hit their head and saw a “black headache,” too? If so, I actually would really like to talk to them. Allow me to play an “Amateur Oliver Sacks?” Very amateur but still!

another word for nightmare come true – Oh, that’s easy! March 04, 1970! That’s when I was born! Okay…it’s not a word; it’s a date. However, that’s when my nightmare began…and subsequently (be)came true.

seizure head feels like it will explode – WAH! That sounds like a seriously badass seizure! My condolences! However, I’m curious due to the migraine I had recently where I was in the same situation. I’ve never really heard of seizures being painful? I could be wrong but you kind of have a consciousness/varying degree, loss of consciousness thing going on. Unless you’re having maybe some kind of Simple Partial where…well…I had some motor stuff…

Contact me. Need to discuss with you. Far too complicated. However, I hope you are feeling better!

dying need cortisol – Oh, dear. I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings but if you are dying, Cortisol will not help you.

listen to auditory hallucinations – Erm…yes. You are completely spot on there. That is what you do or at least what happens. Unfortunately, when you have Auditory Hallucinations you have to listen to them. They work through your hearing sense. You can’t redirect them to say…your Olfactory Sense or any other. They are Auditory.

Unless it’s a seizure! But then you don’t redirect them–you’re brain does. However, I don’t think that was what you were seeking?

bloody cock – Oh, fuck you and YOUR bloody cock! I already told you to go to hospital and yet you keep coming back! If you keep searching me and refuse my advice, well keep fucking bleeding then you useless twonk!

i am now able – Well thank $DEITY, someone has finally found happiness on my blog! I am so glad for you! Bless.

how long do bipolar flings last – *PA almost falls over laughing* Well, do you mean in a (hypo)manic or stable state? Let’s see…I guess it could go from five minutes to…?

definition of a headcase – Well, you’re here aren’t you?

multitasking fritzing – Ah, a fellow AD(H)D’er…welcome aboard!

topomax 2008 – Oh, I didn’t know there was some kind of anniversary or “birthday party” or something. I didn’t get my invitation in the mail and I’ve been on the med for years! *PA slightly miffed*

growing more heads – Yes, I think we could all use a few spares around this joint. It seems the only ones we have always keep breaking…

anyone else addicted to red wine – That’s a fun question! Who else out there is a red fan??? I’m a Merlot. I LOVE a good Merlot. And Beuajolais is nice too, actually…in the summer, perhaps?

how to fuck a woman when she is sleep – Ah, here we go! It never fails! My dirty, sexy blog is always found out! Okay, the “tits” one was up there but I don’t think lovely, naughty “Researcher” planted this one! I wouldn’t be asleep! I could give “advice” on this but gimme a “fucking” break… You’re a dolt. This isn’t a p0rn blog anyway–even if I am a self-proclaimed Pervert of the First Order.

what should i do for my first kiss – Now, this I can handle. Much gentler and ‘geez, talk about going from one end of the spectrum to the other, eh? It’s really easy, honey…just relax…and it really helps if you like them–even love them?

Past Search Term Ridiculosity:

April 17 2007

May 05 2007

July 22 2007

November 06 2007