Archive for September, 2008

This may just be a quickie? I’m still trying to work on it, research it and what not but I’m going to a Job/Career Fair tomorrow.


It runs from 1000hrs to 1900hrs so at least I have a wee bit of time to get up showered, dressed and then take the commute downtown.  However, if I want to get lost run around and speak to all of the exhibitors I should probably try and make a full day of it? I should try and spend as much time there as possible? You see, tomorrow is the last day.

EDIT: Thought last day may be good as everyone had gone earlier?

A couple of things prevented me from going earlier.  The weekend exhausting (supposedly relaxing) trip away and the call today where I was supposed to get an interview.  Well, guess who never called to book the interview!

J. (who I had asked to print me off some resumes for the Job Fair), came over tonight so I’d have them for tomorrow.  He said I should just call the “interview woman” and say WTF?! Well, of course a “Professional WFT,” right? So, I did.  About a half hour before they would close.

“No ringy dingy…” *snort*

…shades of Lily Tomlin…

I guess that would be: “One ringy dingy…two ringy dingy…”

Well, that is really how I feel.  No one is talking to me! And so…I am really going to have pull out everything I have tomorrow.  It’s in a huge facility so in a way, that is great! Lots of exhibitors? But it’s also really bad.  For ultra, spasmodic PA, she just might freak out in the middle of the fucking place.  I mean, all the people…crowds! All the noise! Then, if wee PA finally gets to speak to someone who looks like a good fit?

“Yes, hello, pleased to meet you.”

*shakes hands and ensures to make eye contact*

“I am PA.  Erm…I see you do this.  Very interesting.  Well, I am looking for…”

*produces resume with business card attached at some point*

“…and indeed, what I did in my last position, well…yes…however, beyond that, what I would like to do is expand the scope of…some such…to provide you with what you need…”

Even though it’s not even on my fucking resume; I just want to do it because I know I can and it would be more “fun” and a better job!

*PA goes non-verbal*

So, tomorrow should definitely prove interesting.  And hey, there are tonnes of exhibitors that are offering jobs that want people to relocate to another province!

*PA thinks*

Well, if she could get a kick ass salary…?

I’m blasting my ears out trying to ZING(!) along with applying for jobs and I thought this particularly funny…considering my “Headhunters” are proving utterly useless.  So useless, they aren’t even returning my calls!

And I could still be cycling as per my wacky Twitter(ings) but “whatevah!”

Headhunter by Front 242

Well, kind of more “quel drags” but that was the biggest one.  We had continual cloud cover and some rain the entire time we were there.

EDIT: For those of you that don’t know and may be just stumbling upon this post, I had the chance to visit an observatory this past weekend.

So, no peeking at any pretty stuff in the sky, no opportunity to take any pictures with the crazy, funky equipment. I brought up both my Film and Digital SLRs.  Bugger.

You might be able to say it was still a “good trip?” Let’s start with the good points.

The leaves are starting to change here and the colours are something else.  Strangely enough, I still had a partial roll of film in the one camera (no battery so had to pick that up plus other film.)  I had no clue how long it had been in there. *laughing* I had to waste that so J. and I went on a short hike and took some “nature shots.”  Having absolutely no idea how old the roll is, let’s hope it’s been kept secure and safe and can be developed.  It may provide quite a laugh to see just what the hell else is on it!

The property was just beautiful.  They had a massive deck with chairs and even though it got progressively freezing as evening wore on, I just couldn’t tear myself away from it and the view! It was stunning and oh, so indulgent to sit and sip my glass of wine with J., have a cigarette and chat away… *rolls eyes.*

The other “quel drags?”

A fair amount of people, thus requiring a lot of “small talk.”

Complete and total sensory overload, which in the following manner, I could not get into.  It was Massive Geek Central which I can definitely appreciate.  You should all know by now that I am Geekus Maximus but I have my “own brand” of excessive, over-the-top, even obsessive geekiness.  It was like a big “Aspie Party” where the invitation was mistakenly mailed out to me by mistake.

That’s a joke people.  Aspie? Social? Okay…not that funny.  Still, these folks were really hardcore and I just got to the point where I couldn’t take any more of it so I bolted downstairs to the sleeping area where John and I had been assigned.  More on that later (another quel drag!)

Although another thing was cool.  And yet, also a quel drag? Oh, my brain!!!

A seminar was being given re: Digital Imaging and Astral Photography.  Neato! OMG.  It is so complicated.  I don’t even think I’ll get into it in this post, as your brains will explode, go shooting through the sky and become some sort of warped nebulae themselves! Or you’ll just give up reading and never return to my blog ever again! J. and I were killing ourselves laughing after the guy giving it went through all of the very painful stages of going from a novice to becoming “a real pro!”

Sleep? Well, I stayed at J.’s due to shorter travel distance on Friday so I was sleeping on all different things for two nights.  Couches, futons…also different environments.  My meds did a good job but still.  Then the long drive there and back.  And still the disappointment of not having things turn out.  Not like I can help the weather but I was really looking forward to the coolness factor.

I haven’t “gone away” for even something as “long” as a weekend in ages.  It really took a lot out of me.  The whole point was to relieve stress–not exacerbate it! I was so exhausted when I got home.

J. says we can go up again any other time in the future.

So, that’s it folks.

…I have enough of them in my brain already.  Simply a backdated post for Blog365 so my calendar looks filled in with a nice shade of blue and doesn’t remain gray.

Also, just to say to the Blog365 Police (just  kidding–there aren’t any) that I dutifully made my notes while I was away and did not have access to baby MacBook.

Although tonnes of computers as it was geek central.  OMG.

I’m at J.’s right now, waiting for my sleep meds to kick in (soon…)  I said I wouldn’t be able to blog while I was away but technically, I’m not “away” yet.  We’re leaving tomorrow morning…erm…that would be today…

So, the tip? I was kind of surprised that I remembered.  Now, some items of clothing need to be laid flat but others? Roll them up as tight as you can! It saves so much space.  You wouldn’t believe!

Okay, better try and go to bed…kinda freaky in so many different “bed spots.”  Let’s hope the meds do a good job…

I bought one the other day when I had my last script filled.  I thought it might help me get “organised” with my AM/PM med schedule.  And what a perfect chance to try it out! My weekend trip away!

NOTE: See prior post before this, regarding me going away this weekend.


Pill Organisers are not good for people with AD(H)D.  Well, maybe people with AD(H)D are okay with them but I can not believe how long it took me to try and figure out three days worth of pills I would need to take (more or less…) for my weekend away.

EDIT: Or even every day?

And the thing is, it’s basically, “rote?” Maybe not though for someone who is totally mentally ill and prone to being completely retarded stupid.  Or again, the ADD? I can’t focus? I can’t count or keep track? Well, counting…math never was my strong suit.  It still isn’t.  I need help filling out the bill at restaurants! It’s so embarrassing.  To not even be able to do simple arithmetic calculations.

*PA hangs head*

But the damn pills!

I take my meds every day.  No problem? I know what I take in the morning and I know what I take at night.  So why the hell did I keep buggering up which ones went in “the morning” and in “the night” little cases??? No! This is serious shit!!! I would have Seroqueled myself to death all day and been falling asleep, falling on the ground, perhaps?

Biphentin.  My Stimulant for my ADD at night? Oh, goody! That might have proved interesting? As far as I can tell, my Anticonvulsants were basically hither and yon in the wee boxes but hell, I take enough of them anyway so it probably wouldn’t have mattered.

I’m going to double check what I’ve done tonight when I pack everything else up tomorrow.

AND…I’m going to bring along my massive stash of Valium/Diazepam.  It’s prn but heaven help me if I do/did screw up.  I can just keep doping myself up to try and straighten myself out in some way and get myself turned around.

That won’t really work though.  No, it will just calm me down (hopefully) if I totally fuck up in “those tiny little boxes!” Don’t worry…even if that is the case, I’m not going to go crazy on the Valium.  I still want to have a good time! And not that kind of good time! No, PA is responsible with her meds!

Damn, my cocktail is just so fucking pretty. *laughing*

At least I guessed right at the shop and all my pills actually fit in the stupid little boxes?

I wanted to just toss this up now that it’s officially “Friday,” in my world.  I’m probably going to be pretty busy tomorrow getting prepared (uhhhh…hello ADD girl who can barely pack her own lunch!)

Yes, a bit of a weekend getaway (and a cool one at that?) Going with J. from the Scooter club but not to worry.  I am not riding with him on his Scooter that put me in an almost paralytic state in bed for three days.  No, someone is driving me to where we are going.  So, for Blog365’s sake…I’ll be doing it “old school” or whatever?  Writing posts while being away from my computer?

I am tempted to take baby MacBook up but the thing is, I have to take both of my cameras.  Clothes? Well, whatever.  No one’s going to give a shit what I look like and with J. going up his Scooter, he always “travels light.”  So, on that front, I can look like shit, if I want to.

But yes, some clothes, meds…OMG, I have to make a list but I am a compulsive list maker anyway.  The only thing that fucks that up is the ADD (see note about not being able to pack own lunch.)  You see, where it all breaks down is that I need several days, weeks, months (okay, exaggeration) to make the list! And usually I forget something (hello ADD!)

But back to me bringing both of my cameras and why? We’re going to an observatory.  I wanted to take an astronomy course in uni. but it got cancelled due to not enough students enrolling.  At this observatory, the guy that runs it has somehow (I don’t quite get it–but I will when there?) has come up with this rotating apparatus for taking pictures of…well, all of this totally major coolness in the sky! And it’s an observatory so it goes beyond stars and constellations, right?

So, you may not hear from me for a bit but I’m still here.  Shit, I’m so tempted! I may not even get a signal but again…maybe if I can pack it all…take baby MacBook up anyway! I could upload the Digital shots? The film, no…


Okay, it’s not really bad news.  It’s just the seizure follow up jazz.  So, I guess it’s just sucky-ass news.  I don’t know which of you prefer…which? Which type of news first?

I’d better start off with the good news in case you don’t want to read about the “seizure follow up jazz.”  I responded with it in a comment on my last/yesterday’s post.  I actually got a call for a job interview today! W00t! But hold your horses.  Or my horses.  The woman said: “Interviews.”  Note the “s.”  Also, it’s for something that is “out of my field.”  I responded to her by saying, “Oh, I can learn anything!”

OMG.  I hope I didn’t sound that desperate?

Anyway, she’s going to call me on Monday to book it.  At least I made the cut? I also don’t know much about it the job… *shrug*

Okay, seizure follow up jazz:

Some of this happened on public transit on the way to J.’s for dinner as well as I mentioned but this time, it went a bit further.

Some epigastric rising, rapid eye blinking, then eye rolling.  My eyesight got really blurry and I just felt like I was in some weird, bizarre, trance-like state.  Not at all like my DP/DR experiences with my Simple Partial Seizures before.  That stopped for a bit and then…here we go again, minus the blurred vision.

My body then just went totally limp in my chair.  During the above and during this, I could feel an increase of saliva building in my mouth.  I have a bit of a drooling hx with my seizures–or some of them.  My head rolled back, all limp too.  I could sort of feel my neck…not twitching but stiffening? In retrospect, it may have just been trying to support my crazy, floppy head but I don’t know.  I remember it hurting a lot so some stiffening?

You see, it’s hard to recall as my consciousness was getting pretty, damn altered by this point! And I think I was looking pretty spastic–or not as I had my iPod on and afterward, I heard that some people thought I was just groovin’ out to my tunes! *laughing*

However, one woman spoke to the server and asked if I was alright.  I know the server and she started talking to me but I couldn’t really answer her.  I heard her but I couldn’t talk.  It took me a wee bit to communicate.  I was definitely drooling a bit once I sat up.  Maybe less than a minute to get some communication going.

I asked her if my eyes were open during all the ridiculous eye insanity.  She said yes.  This is an important feature of seizures.  It distingushes them basically from an Epileptic Seizure and a Psychogenic Seizures.  A lot of people have a misconception of the latter and that it means that people are “faking them.”  No, they are real, they are just not caused by any form of Epilepsy or a Seizure Disorder. Therefore, the people that have them do not respond to Anticonvulsants.  However, herein lies the rub: People with Epilepsy can have them too!

I explained to her that I did have seizures and all of that.  She had asked if I wanted to call 911 and I said, no need.  I’d be fine.  I spent a bit of time just relaxing and getting my head together (pun intended but the phrase would be impossible for me to do!)

I think the entire event lasted about two to three minutes but it is very hard for me to tell with my consciousness being altered.  I was trying to actually “guess” by the number of songs that were playing on my iPod?

Ah, yes.  When this happened both times (again, with the trip to J.’s, none of this floppy, out of it stuff happened), when my eyes started going I got a pretty significant headache! My head started to hurt!

Afterward, immediately Postictally, I felt depressed.  However, I was feeling down earlier.  I went to see Merlin #1 but afterward, I felt better when out running my errands on the way home.  Then, the seizure happened.

Later at home, I made some dinner, watched a movie and then…OMG! Wow, did my head start to hurt! It could have been a serious Postictal headache or a migraine? I couldn’t tell but as soon as it hit, I popped my sleep meds, my triptan and just went to lie down! I haven’t had a migraine in a fair bit and that is what neuro thought was causing the seizures quite a while ago.  I kind of disagreed but I didn’t say anything.

Today? I am feeling alright Postictally.  I think so? My sleep was very odd, though! I kept waking up feeling like I was in another Dimension or Universe or something! Where is Stephen Hawking when you need him!

At this point, I’m going to write off the Postictal nastiness when I feel so for sick days after, to the Simple Partial Motor Seizures.  That is when it has only happened–after those ones.

I’m also going to “write off” all of these stupid, fucking things to the stress in my life.  It’s the only think that has increased in tandem!

Actually, there was at least one? That I do remember that happened on public transit on the way to J.’s place for dinner last week, was it? Very similar, very similar to tonight.

But tonight’s progressed in a similar but different way.

I’ll try and write about it tomorrow? At least I got an account; someone saw at least part of it so that is good.  Eyes open; not Psychogenic.  I can explain that too.  What that means.

I feel like I want to do something but I probably shouldn’t.  At least not something that requires anything to do with with my head.

And that doesn’t leave much does it.

My mobile is dead too and that is not good.  I need to msg someone.  Bugger.

Bugger pretty much everything at this point.

I’m still trying to give the boots to myself and today was I think nine? That was one more than the last time but my eyes have been crossed for a while.  I just sent the last one off.

I’ll be back to everyone’s comments tomorrow.  Thank you so much…as always.  It means so much.

I’m just relaxing now…or trying.

Some Rach. Symphony #2 in E. Minor.  We’ll see how that goes down?