Indeed! Oh, For Fuck’s Sake! Now, along with being Madame Depressiva© I am also Madame Seizurella©!

I don’t know if I can take much more of this.  And last night was a really fabbo time! I was out working on baby MacBook at a pub and this lovely woman asked me to sit down with her to talk.  She was treating me to some drinks which was very nice–didn’t have to and all of the sudden…

No warning this time, no aura, none of my typical rapid eye blinking and all of that shit…

I just fell from my chair to the floor! *laughing slightly and shaking head* Well, at least I am laughing about it but I don’t think this really is a laughing matter! The bartender called 9-fucking-1-fucking-1!!! Well, I guess that’s what you do in a public place if someone just completely falls down and starts looking like a total spaz!

So, in come the paramedics.  I still haven’t taken off their heart monitor tabs on my chest, actually.  I don’t really care right now.

According to the bartender’s account, I fell off my chair, “was conscious,” “was shaking my hands,” and repeating: “Don’t touch…don’t touch…” over and over.

Guess who has absolutely no memory of this.  And was I moved to the floor? Did they place me lying down? I just remember the paramedics coming in and me saying I didn’t want to go.  No need! I have a Seizure Disorder, a neuro…all of that.  I have written about this before that some people with Seizure Disorders or Epilepsy will resist this but it is futile.  HA.  I became a Hospital Borg.

They hooked me all up with the heart monitor jazz, some saline and what not…might have been something else in it.  They also gave me some oxygen and wow, that sure felt nice! I used to laugh at those “Oxygen Bars” where they claimed you could feel all energised or something like that.  Well, I don’t know about my energy but getting all of what they gave me felt really cool!

So, my bean? Well, this is kind of fucked because just about everything you read out there is a Simple Partial sometimes being an “aura” can lead to a Complex Partial.  Or a Complex Partial can lead to a tonic-clonic.  Now can fucking Atonic Seizures (also most lovingly called “Drop Attacks”…I sure wish they’d remove that one from the lexicon!) Anyway, can an Atonic Seizure (where you just collapse in a heap as I did) lead to a Complex Partial?

Because, you see (as above), I have no memory of the event! That is key to having a Complex Partial! Also, it came on with no warning as also said above.  Ditto, Complex Partials.  They can come without any warning.  Also possible for Complex Partials, a tiny bit of motor loss but not everything like an Atonic or a tonic-clonic? No, it seems you actually might have more of a tendency to be moving around–or so “the literature” says.

Another reason for it being a Complex Partial is that he said I “was conscious” but with a Comple Partial, you just look like you are! It’s completely: “The lights are on but nobody’s home!”

Further? The whole business with my hands shaking and repeating, “Don’t touch.” They were bloody automatisms! I can’t be 100% sure as again, “I wasn’t there” but the repetition of either sounds or short phrases are verbal automatisms and repetitive movements are also automatisms.  So to someone who is not familiar, it may have appeared that they were “shaking” but really, I may have just been repeating some kind of motion–just like my words.

He said it lasted about nine minutes which is way too long for a Complex Partial (that would mean I’d be in Status and that’s not good) but crap, he was tending bar! Did he see it all? I don’t know.  Either way, I got shuttled off to hospital, waited for about two and a half to three hours and then went AMA.  I mean, really.  What were they going to do for me? If I’d already waited that long, it’s obvious I wasn’t emergent and since I already had a neuro, what? Keep me there overnight for obs? Sorry, I just want to go home, take my meds and fall into my own bed!

I’m trying to think of an appropriate song to stream for all of this.  I can not believe the amount of seizures I am having now.  Maybe we should throw a party! Yes! A Seizure Party for me!

So, I’m streaming “One More Time” by Daft Punk…because obviously, it has been “one more time” that I’ve had a stupid, ass seizure and it’s all about celebrating!

One caveat though.  I have to be post-“ick”tal© (as I am right now and feeling like utter shite, of course.)  That way, I’ll be nice and out of it while we’re all whooping it up.


  1. Wow, you understand a lot about your seizures. You sound like a doctor!!!! My husband has an oxygen tank thingy because he is a rescue diver. I keep threatening to do my own “oxygen bar” and see if it really does anything. Now, you are REALLY making me want to give it a try! LOL!

    Sorry that you are going through so many seizures. It must be very frustrating and upsetting.

    I don’t know what post-ictal is but if you want a Seizure Party then I say have one! Might as well have some fun if you can’t stop it anyway!

    Take care,


  2. Arkay

    Boy, sorry… Girl, I think your method of attempting to charm the panties off some lovely lady in a bar needs some work. Physical humour (the whole falling off the stool thing) is so passe ;) (said completely tongue in cheek).

    (((((hug))))) for having to go through the whole “hospital borg” thing, when home would have done you just as good (if not better). I am also sorry you had to go through a seizure (similar to someone close to me) where you weren’t aware of what was happening at the time (nor could remember it afterwards). I have been amazed so far up to now that most (all?) of your other ones have left you aware of what was happening for the most part. I cannot imagine what not knowing is like for you.

    Hey, lookit that, someone else signs on to your ‘honourary’ medical degree (you’re still not making them salute or anything right?). Do you have a really cool stethescope in your intimate/costume accessories drawer yet – or do I need to get you one for Christmas? – I figure someone else is already on the slippers/booties thing (see, I remember this stuff)

    oh, and i think it should be Mademoiselle (insert disorder here) rather than Madame as you are far too young (and anonymously cute) to take on the *ahem* more mature title :P


  3. Do you wear a medic-alert bracelet? I know yours could potentially be rather large, but it still might be a good idea…


  4. Hi Tamara, thanks about the compliment and my “knowledge.” Some folks around here (and in real life), have said I should have become a doctor with all of my blah-bitty-blah. I’m just a med geek.

    I joke back that no…if I went to medical school, it would take me so long I’d graduate when I was 60, be at the last of my class and I would end up killing someone!

    However, we do have a Dr. PA joke going on here re: a Medscape newsletter I received that was addressed to “Dr. insert PAs last name.” I posted about it as I thought it was hilarious and in combination with what people were already saying, it was made “official.” I can now treat people!

    Yes, I am getting more upset about my seizures now. See today’s post.

    And hey, go ahead and open that Oxygen Bar! You might make some good coin!

    Post-ictal means when you are “done” having your seizure. Actually, it can be immediate or for days afterward. Ictal means when the event is occurring and inter-ictal means in between seizure events.

    Hi Arkay, thanks love. Very funny about the bar joke. Actually, it can really suck as people who don’t know about seizures or have never seen them can often mistake it for people being drunk. And Crikey! I had mine a bar of all places! Good grief.

    Yeah, I’ve never gone AMA but feck it, you know? I just didn’t think it was worth it.

    True, Complex Partials are really screwy. It’s even more important to get the best possible account of what happened for those because, again, you have no memory of the event. How can you really report to your neuro what you don’t really know? Other than, I seized, but I don’t know what happened. That means it could have been a Simple Partial where you were slightly altered or…WTF?

    Or you don’t report it to your neuro because you have no account and you know nothing altogether! Yay!

    Actually, I do have a steth. It was a Christmas pressie too. Back when I was considering going into Nursing, non-bio dad gave it to me. But if I think of anything else you can send me, I’ll let you know! *wink* Or if you think of anything, you let me know! *winks again*

    I don’t know. I kind of like Madame. It’s more regal, don’t you think?

    Hi Gabriel…. That’s actually a good thought now that these damn things are happening more frequently. And sometimes now with people that I know aren’t always around (even if I do end up going AMA every time I may end up being carted off to hospital.)

    I did have one bracelet before when I was taking an MAOI. It’s still lying around somewhere. Not completely necessary for the drug but I went ahead anyway. Dr. Asshole said it was up to me so I thought…eh…why not. But taking an MAOI is not as serious as this fucking bullshit.

    Neuro is such an arse as well, he’d probably say it was up to me as well but you never know. He may recommend it? Still, something to consider.

    And yes, I had to laugh about mine being rather large? HA! Yes, she has so many bloody head problems! Well, really, only the seizure biz is what would be important. They don’t need to know I’m a whackjob. And the only medication I can’t take is/are sulpha drugs and they are antibiotics. They’d never give me an antibiotic for a seizure. If anything (and I was really a disaster), they’d push a benzo.

    Yeah…maybe I’ll get one…talk to neuro first though? They have some groovy “sporty” ones for kids too! I think my wrists are small enough? Or adults can wear them as well? *laughing*

    Again…see next stupid post…


  1. 1 Major Act of Kindness « Patient Anonymous: Just Another Head Case

    […] patientanonymous I forgot to mention this.  While I was busy being Madame Seizurella™ and had this lovely incident in the middle of a pub I needed to go back to see the bartender on duty that night to pay my outstanding […]


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