So Much For “Calmness?”
Yes, that was a reference to trying to explain how I was feeling today–well yesterday–time zones, passages, where are we and such?
Well? So much for calmness indeed!
I was out working away (as I wrote) on job applications, listening to music, put up the last post before this one and then went home.
Oh, boy did I come home! Thank goodness I “came home” in my home! Oh, here we go…
Drooling all over, legs going, epigastric rising (which I don’t think I’ve mentioned but has been a continual pattern.) I was a bit out of it so I didn’t quite “get it” for Simple Partial safe protocol to get down to the floor or somewhere safe if you’ve had other more serious seizures. No, I was too spaced.
But finally my body got it. Thankfully, not that hard a lesson. I just sort of slumped down after a bit of twitchy-twitchy…and a hell of a lot of drooly-drooly!
It took me ages to get up though. I felt quite immobile and yes, in pain. I had a commenter come by recently and we had a talk about his(?) can’t remember if it was a male commenter…anyway…interestingly enough, I found a reference that did note at least something re: the Parietal Lobe and his symptoms. This person had Simplex Partial Seizures too. As I just did now. I laughed in my comment back that it still didn’t explain my pain! But the brain is weird.
Another thing new though is that I felt that I couldn’t breathe during the episode. I felt my airway was…somehow becoming blocked.
Fuck me. Something else new.
Status. Simple Partial Status. *PAs brain churns to remember*
You see, the thing is with “Status,” (that means a prolonged seizure of any type, that goes on for WAY longer than a “normal” seizure of its type should) is seriously dangerous. In some cases, you could die. Not to flip anyone’s shit out there if you see someone having a seizure or if you know someone who has Epilepsy but it really depends upon a lot of circustances: the person, their health and what is the “status” of their Disorder.
Anyway, why the hell am I writing this now when you all think I should be tucked away in bed? Well, I have taken my meds so I am part way there. I have some Chopin on so that is good? Yes? No? Yes. It sounds good. It’s just my legs. I’m on my bed not in my bed. I will be soon, though. I just want to test out my legs and I do have to do stuff before I go to sleep.
Also, of course for the record keeping. I need a log of all these events. Again, the irony? How odd that I was feeling so…well?…So, almost, maybe more confident and ready to take on things with a different mindset?
And then…WHAM! BANG!
I got a call from a Recruiter but I was in a public space so not really suitable to make a professional call. I planned to return his message tomorrow/today. I hope I can.
The Backing and Forthing
Track the Twit(ter…)
Psych Central 2009 Top 10 Bipolar Blogs
Currently Reading (Bless My Stims!)
Too many things at once. My ADD is running full throttle.
However...
MORE GENEROUS AWARDS
I'm really a girl though.
Here are some more given to me where I had a complete memory lapse. I think I got the hovers correct like the above!
Dr. PA Available For Consultations: General Medicine Plus Specialty in Neurology From Harvard
patientanonymous (at) gmail (dot) com
NOTE: This other side of her ego may get back to you as well:
Hi. I'm Aspie Penguin. I do my hardest to take care of PA. She doesn't always do so well on her own.
You can reach me at her email above, or I have my own: aspiepenguin (at) gmail (dot) com
Patient Anonymous: Just Another Head Case 
December 2, 2008 at 10:57
Geesh, those seizures sound … icky. My English is failing me there, too. I hope the not breathing thing with them doesn’t happen again, or at worst doesn’t get any worse. *checks herself into remedial English hospital now*
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December 2, 2008 at 11:14
I hope you have some luck with the job finding soon.
I start my new job in the new year, but I was running fairly close to the rail timing-wise to get a job before it was too late, and I ended up living in a hedge or something, possibly worse.
Of course I have all the crazed stress of moving city, job, house, etc. but better than starving eh?
Have I cheered you up?
I am on the hunt for some new music. Can you make some recommendations?
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December 2, 2008 at 17:07
Hi Immi, not to worry about the English. I think I’ve been having a bad case of “foot in mouth” disease lately.
Ah, well. I don’t know.
Yes, the problems with the breathing–rather odd. With Simple Partials, you can have any kind of rush of emotion preceding or during so maybe it was some form of anxiety or panicky sort of state. I do not know.
These things are becoming a pain in the arse. No, more than.
Again, the irony of me feeling so much better about things yesterday and then getting knocked down (literally) afterward. Figures, eh? And I have left a message with the Recruiter (that is actually a woman but I couldn’t tell by the name…)
EDIT: Just got a call from another one. You would think with all of this “action” I’m getting, plus the Direct-to-Employer applications I am submitting (eight yesterday) you would suspect something would have come along?
Perhaps there are a lot of folks out there that are looking just like me. Apart from the market itself being not so great, that may be the case–so may others in the same boat as myself.
Oh, and the second one is to discuss a Permanent that has now gone Contract. I asked if there was any chance of it going to Perm. via email, however, yes, I was still interested. I suggested we should discuss it? The first one I contacted today after a message is a Perm. F/T.
Maybe I should play “Recruiter Ping Pong” and let the Contract one know that I am in contact re: a Perm. F/T?
Hi darkentries. Oh, thank you for the smile. I really need it today. Living in a hedge! Oh, you’d be a cute, little (well, you’re not little–okay skinny but not little) hedgehog!
I knew you were up to something with a new job prospect but I hadn’t heard back on it so congratulations! And moving…you’ll have to tell me where you will be (crash)landing.
Cheering me up? Oh, darling. Today? There is only one thing that could cheer me up and I really don’t expect it to happen! It hasn’t yet and it’s been a while!
Music… *scratches head* You know, we have this local rag here that is strictly devoted to that and every time I skim it, I tear all of these little articles out and they’re all over the place in my flat! I could try and find them all and run through them but I haven’t even checked out the artists myself! I just rip out their information in order to someday find them and have a listen.
…someday…have a listen. Yes, like I don’t have other things to do. So I really don’t know. I’m always on the hunt as well. Huh. Sorry.
Oh, wait a sec’.
I don’t know if you were around when I streamed Junior Boys but you might have seen it on your server anyway. I don’t know if you do notice it when I ftp my stuff or if it’s just in the background or you don’t pay attention. I really like them, though.
Anything else that I’ve gone on a download craze with lately? Anything else I have that you don’t know about?
I recall sending you some “downtempo” kind of stuff waaaay back. That was a Kruder and Dorfmeister remix of someone. It was off the Monumental “K&D Sessions.” That is something no one should be without! Well, I think so anyway.
Oh! *PA clicks on iTunes…*
Hang on… *PA pads off for another cuppa* PA not feeling very well today.
Heh. PA padded off to take a shower to try and feel at least sub-human and toss some laundry in to try and feel she is at least making some sort of contribution to her life. I figured you could wait a bit since you are a few time zones away from me? *rolls eyes*
Okay, music…have you heard of the “Papua New Guinea Translations” by FSOL (The Future Sound of London?) I gave a copy to exactscience when he came to my little corner of the world and we met. It’s kind of groovy and another album/CD (whatever) that I feel no one should be without as well. I can just send it to you in a folder if you’d like and you can see (hear?) what you think of it.
Also…I made a post some time ago about the soundtrack for the Korean film “Sympathy for Lady Vengeance” that I absolutely love (both the film and the soundtrack.) I linked to the film’s website where you could download the the entire soundtrack for free but it doesn’t exist anymore. I don’t know why. It was only made in 2006.
You can search for the post if you want to read more but basically your typical, Asian themed, ‘You screwed me over, I’m going to seek revenge and BOY are you going to pay! I’m going to make you suffer beyond belief!!!’ I won’t say more: “Spoiler Alert!” However, the reason I bought it after I rented it was because it was a woman who sought the revenge. Usually it’s all about men.
Anyway (I know, this is getting long but you asked!) the soundtrack is semi-based on Vivaldi’s work with a couple of other original pieces thrown in. It’s so great. I’m crazy ADD girl so I tune out (haha good pun) the music of films as I have to focus on the plot? But when I watched this? I immediately sat up and was amazed! The music just hit me!
I have that as a file as well, so I can send it along too.
The only thing is, which email address? I think I have about 17 for you now. Which the bloody hell one are you using currently?
And I know, I should get my sorry ass on Skype and we should talk. I kind of feel like doing it right now but I have made a couple of calls to some Recruiters so “Conversationus Interruptus.” Nonetheless, I could do it later in the evening…just not too late? Or sooner…maybe? It’s getting on to sort of, end of business day here. I may not get called back or I may?
Oh…one other thing…ha…so long a comment. For the “Sympathy” folder, let me know if everything looks okay with titles and such. When I downloaded it, fucking hilarious! Since the film was Korean, it was all in…well, Korean! Funky symbols, I couldn’t read anything! I had to re-label all the songs, make sure the tracks were in the right order with exact titles. Too much!
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December 3, 2008 at 05:41
Christ I wish I could get emails when someone responds to comments I’ve made on another blog. I hate having to check My comments in the dashboard.
My email is the same as it has been for about 2 years.
The darkentries one.
I am at work so can’t write much.
Well, my boss is in the room with me, so I can’t write much.
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December 3, 2008 at 17:34
Hi darkentries, I have a Comments RSS obviously but then I think you’d be getting all of them! Not that I seem to get flooded with them, really. However, you do know that I respond to everyone so I’ll always be answering you–it’s just a question of when I sign on to my blog.
Is there a way to do an RSS for a single post? I’m kind of tired but I’m sure I’ve seen it before on other WP blogs!
Hang on…shit, I have no clue. *laughing*
I tried to send one file to that address (presumably the one server-related etc…) but gmail just wouldn’t let it go…hang…hang…hang…
Now, they are rather large files even though compressed. gmail addresses can handle pretty large files so we can try that one if you still have it but these ones may still be too big. I mean, they are pretty ridiculous. I didn’t bother to look but now that I have? Oh, my god! I really think they are uber-ridiculous, actually!
When I downloaded the “Sympathy” ones, they were in four folders so I may have to do that…start divvying up everything for you?
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December 4, 2008 at 04:38
Well there are plugins for wordpress.org but thats no use.
It would be a nice addition if wordpress let you tick a box in the My Comments section to get emails when someone replies to a thread you are active in.
What MB are these files?
You could always upload them to your tunes folder and give me the URL?
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December 4, 2008 at 21:31
Hi darkentries, the plugins are only available if you purchase the upgrade to fuck around with the CSS (oooohhh, the horror…my course…!) Sorry, even if I could remotely figure out what the hell, I’d never pay WP for an “upgrade!” Shit, if I was all that savvy, I’d build my own goddamn site?
But I suck.
And WP is the best?
Except with this new template, things keep breaking, I don’t know if I really like the layout.
Blogging is stoopid.
There, said and done.
The files are stoopid too. Like 50MB! I mean, even for dumb PA…she knows that can’t really be sent via email?
Erm…you’re suggestion? Now, I’m confused? Is this via our ftp deal?
I’m tired…and I’ve had a really stoopid day too…content of next post.
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December 5, 2008 at 06:03
Yes. Gmail has a 20mb limit.
Yes. Via ftp to my server. Just as you normally upload tunes. I can increase your quota if we hit the limit.
wordpress.org is much more flexible, but you miss the community aspect of .com. The strays who wander in from the tag surfer. All that.
You can’t install any plugins even with the css upgrade. all you get to do is play with the css.
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December 5, 2008 at 17:15
Hi darkentries, indeed. It says so at the bottom. I just never pay attention to all of that “extraneous” stuff on webpages, no matter how important and “non-extraneous” it may be? *rolls eyes*
Okay, I’ll mark this as “unread” so I can come back and try that. Now, I’m assuming you mean just upload each song? Not the file? MeSoDum. No, really, I’ve never uploaded a file before? But it’s a server! Yes?
As you can see, I learned “oh, so much” in the course I just took!
I thought the whole point of…oh, right…you need to .org for plug-ins, right? Then you need a host. Anyway, feck it. It’s not like I’d probably know what the hell to do with them, anyway! *laughing*
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December 5, 2008 at 18:52
You can zip the whole album folder up if you want and upload the zip if you prefer. Or is that beyond your poor bonce?
Maybe you should just recommend stuff for me to torrent? I fear your head may explode.
I was a big fan of FSOL back in the day. I remember listening to the original Papua New Guinea 12″ back in the day, stoned out of my mind. It was nice.
Dead Can Dance provided the vocal sample for that, from Dawn of the Iconclast. I’m sure you knew that though. The translations sounds good. I will look it up.
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December 7, 2008 at 22:02
Hi darkentries, I’m at Grocery Man’s; he’s long gone to bed but I’m allowed to stay and play! Problem being, I can barely get any floaty wifi so this is hard as hell!
But as per my last Twit…he’s got lots of red wine!
My bonce! Yes, my poor bonce, indeed.
Hey! I was just trying to ensure I could do it right! You know I want to always do things right!
*insert people pleasing pathetic PA hanging head ashamed…*
Funny, bonce rhymes with nonce… No relation.
Anyway…
Good to hear you that you have had funnies with Papua and altered states years ago? Yes? Although, I’d have to take a listen to what I have for any kind of Dawn for sample…huh. Because, thing is, there is an “original” listed with the Translations. Unless we’re talking about something different?
Okay, I’ll try and get my silly “bonce” in order for sending. *sigh*
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December 8, 2008 at 11:13
I think the original 12″ is on Translations. I had a quick peek after you mentioned it.
The Dead can Dance sample is the main vocal chanty refrain bit on Papua New Guinea. Kind of unmistakable. And it sounds like Lisa Gerrard who is kind of unmistakable.
I am moving to Cardiff in the new year. bright lights, etc. I will see how well I cope with so much change all at once. Hopefully ok.
Hope you find some work soon.
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December 11, 2008 at 20:38
Hi darkentries, as per my last email, my wee bonce is in the process of uploading you the two zips right now. Let me know what you think?
Also as per email, I can do JB if you want so let me know about that too.
x
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