I don’t know if I’ve done a 180° or a 167° or a 201° but certainly not a 365°.  Meaning, I haven’t found a job yet. *rolls eyes* However, I am now officially: “Disabled!” *rolls eyes again* And please, do not misunderstand.  I am in no way making fun of anyone with a disability.  You know I never would.  I just do not refer to myself as disabled because none of my head maladies make me…well, disabled.

EDIT: There may be some debate about that.  Perhaps not “regularly” disabled but if I flip my lid and need to go to hospital, I can not work.  If I have a Seizurus Maximus and end up all post-“ick”tally© yucky for a few days, I can not work.  My ADD can make me terribly stupid at times.  Duh.  I keep “doing 180s” in my head about Asperger’s.  Or at least having Aspie traits? A bit of food for thought, there? I’m not sure.

So, yes.  I managed to make it to place that assists people with disabilities in finding work.  Again.  Hence the whole “doing a 180” business.  I was there before but was confused about how something worked so I dropped it.  Time to go back? A better shot?

You see, I’ve rather “done a 180” in my mind regarding all of this.  The program re: going back to school isn’t so great as I have found out.  For a lot of reasons.  Therefore, I’m back to where I was before.  Just get me a damn job! Fast!

Ironically, the “disability place” offers the same program! So I could pick it up and start it there again? Nonetheless, get mental PA a job via a mental route with a sympathetic employer who has a sympathetic attitude toward mental cases.  No, really.  That’s a good point.  A lot of employers don’t give a toss.  Or worse, another “D” word: “Discrimination.”

I had to fill out a couple of forms and on one was to list your primary disability and then your secondary.  Hmmm…  Well, now.  Migraines aren’t really a disability but…  Oh, hell! I put Bipolar and ADD in the first section and then Seizures in the second.  Maybe that will score me more “points?” Three instead of just two? Oh, my god.  Could you imagine? Something good actually coming out of me being mentally ill???

That is (almost) completely beyond comprehension.

Having been through the seminar already and all the blah-bitty-blah of how it works, I can get access to someone to help me right away.  Supposedly in a week or so? Alright…let’s try this avenue…

I have no clue what kind of track record these folks have.  No doubt all the major factors are the same? What I have to offer in terms of skills, all the other things I require and well, is there an employer out there that they know of or is on their roster that is suitable?  Are they just like any other Recruitment Agency except for the disabled and/or loonies?

I guess I’ll find out.


  1. raginggenius

    I remember my day in court to determine wether or not I was disabled. It was a slam dunk case. My lawyer did not even have to argue. I remember looking at the huge 3 ring binder on the judge’s desk off all the medical evidence. As they were reading their findings it was almost like listening to how messed up I really was. There was a part of me that wanted them to say, “There is ablsolutely nothing wrong with you! Have a nice day” but that was not the case. I won. And it was like the final nail in the coffin that truly let me know that I was disabled. It was had for me to face even with a huge settlement and monthly income. At times I would like to give it back. It’s almost like a new set of problems to deal with. I did have some trouble in the beginning after my battle. I still am amazed how easily I won. I know really know how I feel about that. But I am not broke!


  2. Hi raginggenius, I’m not sure what to say. I didn’t and don’t know anything about this.

    I…court case…? What?

    You don’t have to go into any details here as obviously this is a public space for the entire world to see.

    As above, I just didn’t/don’t know anything about a court case for you.


  3. raginggenius

    Yes, I had a court case and all I am saying is that even though I won and am not legally disabled having the money and the ruling in my favor just really drove it home in my mind that I am messed up. Like I would like to wake up from this nightmare and everyone standing around my bead would say “Just kidding! It was all a dream! You are not messed up! Go live a normal life!” And I don’t mind sharing especially that I know mental cases are judged unfairly for drawing disability.


  4. Hi raginggenius, I had no idea (again) but wow…that really must have been rough. Going through all of that.

    I don’t know the details so there’s not much for me to say other than…yes…nightmare? Or as you say…better dream? To wake up and realize it was all a big joke?

    Judgment. I know. Stigma. Well, I am one hell of a stigma buster if you didn’t know already! I won’t put up with any of that crap.

    Sorry if this isn’t making much sense but I’m kind of screwy. I think I just had a small Simple Partial and may be still there or slowly coming out of it…

    I’m going to go take a Valium as it’s a benzo that can basically act (for some of us happy seizure folks) as a seizure med. I’ve taken it post-seizure before. It might help bring me around a bit.

    My head is really fuzzed. Blargh. I was fine when I last responded to your other comment.

    I just love my stupid brain. *rolls eyes*


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