I have what I call in the “real world” an expression of “putting on your Sane Face.”  No doubt others use it as well or something similar? Basically, you feel like emotional, mental trash but you fake it to get by.  You don’t let on.  You don’t allow others to know anything by essentially hiding behind the mask of your “Sane Face.”

It may sound strange but has anyone out there done the same on their blogs? Sure, you could just make the decision to not post anything at all because you feel like total, utter shite.  However, have you decided to do so anyway with…well, the subject matter is irrelevant.  It just has nothing to do with how you feel.  It could be anything.  You simply post something in denial of your emotions.  You don’t let any readers know.

A virtual, online version of your Sane Face.

I’m doing it right now.  Although, I have had this topic in mind for quite some time.

I really don’t feel like blogging about how I basically never want to get out of bed to face the world these days, how long the record is for me to take showers, brush my teeth and change my clothes–including the fact that I also sleep in them because I don’t change them.  That would logically follow.

Not to mention that the bizarre Agoraphobia has returned that I had never experienced before since my last (number six!) hospitalization.

Oops! I guess I let some things slip there! So much for my Blogging Sane Face!

Oh, well.  The other day I did make it out to do some things out of sheer necessity.  In my mind, I had plans to do more (or at least try) but once out, I just felt after the essential ones were done, forget the “optional” endeavors.

“Maybe tomorrow?” I said to myself.

Oh, dear.  I’m losing more of my Sane Face now, aren’t I? *laughing*

It doesn’t really matter.  This post was meant to be more of a “question” to folks out there.  Another one of my invitations to open a discussion and provide a space for anyone’s thoughts or opinions.

PA, who hasn’t taken a shower today but did change her clothes from yesterday. *smirk*


  1. Hey how are you? Hope you’re ok, sometimes ‘sane face’ can be good but other times I think you need to tell how you really feel. I’ve done the sane face thing, I do it constantly in real life and I’ve done it on my blog a few times, rarely do I really write about how bad I actually feel, plus I think I whinge too much on my blog anyway!
    Hope you’re ok, hang in there

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  2. pilgebump

    OK, so its 2 days since my last shower & change of clothes, but I haven’t started to stink yet – my usual criteria. Not having a job makes it harder to maintain a sane face as does dealing with divorce, but aside from that, as I sometimes ask myself, whats my excuse? I don’t have the energy to be fake. I would if I could.

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  3. Hi Hannah. Not bad. How are you dear? I finally added you to my blogroll along with a bunch of others but why it took me so long? Duh.

    I think loads of people do the Sane Face. With me, it’s so ingrained. Mostly from work and doing it in the professional arena. I mean, to hang on to a job. “Put on a happy face…” Perhaps that is one area where it can and does serve you well?

    Interesting that you have done it on your blog so this question wasn’t completely out in left field. I would also say to you not to worry about whinging too much on your blog. Have you read a fair portion of mine??? *laughing*

    Yes…still hanging in. 10 job applications last night and researching something that I have no clue about researching for a “paper” that I don’t know at all what it is entirely about. An invitation (or a notification) to write something–that I don’t know anything about…no.

    However, I may have found some good information about what I don’t know anything about.

    I made my head hurt last night. Quite a bit, really. *laughing*

    Hi pilgebump, welcome to my blog as I haven’t seen you here before. I must say, I like your moniker too.

    Haven’t started to stink yet. Well, you can always “cheat” a bit and put on antiperspirant or deodorant in between it all.

    Well, I am unemployed at the moment so I hear you on that one and I did make reference to the importance of perhaps needing it above. And true, any other of the myriad of life’s problems can just add to it all.

    I don’t know if any “excuses” are necessarily warranted. As you say, you just don’t have the energy and I think that is completely fair. There are just times when we can’t do it.

    Maybe there are times when we just don’t care as well?

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  4. Ameroux

    Dear PA, I can so relate to this. Sometimes my facial muscles hurt and get stiff from keeping up the expression of my “sane face”. I’m also having a stretch where I’d rather just curl up in a ball and not move for maybe a week or 10 days. You’re definitely not alone. Let’s both just “keep on keeping on”, as the song says. Take care~ Ameroux

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  5. Hi Ameroux, I’m pretty darn sure I’ve seen you here before! Do I owe you a welcome to my blog or a welcome back to it?! *rolls eyes* No, your moniker rings some wee bell in my head. You have been here before…I think I’m just losing it. Nope. Lost it.

    Thanks for relating even though I don’t know if it’s such a great thing to relate to, you know?

    HA! You did make me laugh about your facial muscles! I’m sorry…

    I am sorry, really, that you are having a rough go of it these days, though. At least we can all commiserate?

    Yes, let’s all do just as you say…”keep on keeping on…”

    You take care, too.
    PA

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  6. I do it on-line and in real life all the time. I’ve got my false self to present to the world; thats the one who has it altogether and doesn’t say things to freak people out. I might drop a vague hint every once in a while, but never do I expose those really messed up parts of me. I almost consider acting in such a way as a part of my personality.

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  7. Hi thestranger, well it sounds like you’ve got the Sane Face down pretty well. And another person who can “get” what I was trying to present as a concept re: carrying it over to the online world.

    An interesting perspective that you’ve offered up and shared. Thank you for doing that. I really appreciate it.

    Sometimes I think (or wonder?) if our personal situations vary or alter our “Sane Face Levels.” I mean, if we have good support systems, would we let the…well, what would be the opposite? Our “Mental Faces” show more?

    I wonder…? Sometimes, again with me, since it’s so ingrained, is it hard to show–even with those that you are “close to?”

    I think for me, I would have to be really close to the person. Well, apart from the times when I’ve totally lost it altogether and then the entire world may have seen it. That may have been more like hospitalization time, though, right?

    That’s sort of another story.

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  8. As far as depression goes I just keep it to myself, even though I have someone in my life who is very patient and understanding. It doesn’t always seem to do a lot of good to let that out. For my other issues, I think I even go so far as to hide it from myself, if that makes sense. It’d probably take a therapist to get that out of me. On the rare times I do share though I feel misunderstood. The more support or anonymity I have the more I open up, but I think I’ll always have things I’ll never talk to anybody about.

    They’ll just try and convince me that I’m normal, anyways…

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  9. Ameroux

    Yes, PA, I’ve been here before: nothing wrong with your memory. I just drop in from time to time, though. I’m not very consistent. Don’t be sorry: I was hoping to make you laugh with that remark about my facial muscles :-) Laughter goes a long way toward healing. You’re doing better than you give yourself credit for. You have a lot of courage.

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  10. Hi thestranger. That is good that you do have someone in your life that is patient and understanding as you say. I have had people in my life who have been but then they have drifted in and out…

    I do understand (or I think so; we’re not mind readers!) what you are saying about hiding things from ourselves. It’s called denial. And quite like the Sane Face, we can become very good at that as well! It is basically like we are turning around our Sane Faces towards ourselves!

    If we keep telling ourselves the same thing over and over again, it must be true, right?

    So, how did Dr. PA do? Not so far as getting things out of you but an “assessment” of the situation? However, you did speak of “anonymity” so please know that if you feel comfortable enough, you can always share whatever you wish here or with me. I don’t mind at all. I am anonymous too?

    Also, you are well within your right to choose what you wish to disclose. We all are. I have known some people to be extremely reticent about certain things with me and others who have been very open. A level of trust? A level of comfortability? Either way, it all comes down to individual choice.

    And to finish off…”normal?” Just what is that?! No such thing, my dear!

    Hi Ameroux, thanks for telling me there’s nothing wrong with my memory but I certainly know otherwise!

    That’s great about the facial muscles thing. I can usually tell when people are joking but just in case, I always do the “sorry” caveat.

    True, laughter does great things. It is a wonderful stress reliever and we all could use more of it!

    Thank you so much for your support. Am I doing better? Maybe not so much re: yesterday…should I post about that? I guess? Not a fun day.

    Courage. People have told me that I have it or am courageous but I don’t know what to say to that. I never do. Other than: “Thank you.”

    Again…

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  1. 1 Ashamed to Blog « Patient Anonymous: Just Another Head Case

    […] PTSD, Patient Advocacy, Seizures, Self Medication, Therapy I wrote a post about what I called Sane Face Blogging. This is different though. “Sane Face Blogging” is when you put on mask, your brave […]

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