Archive for March 23rd, 2009


Now fucking get a load of this “crap!” I’m getting all ready for bed last night and I go to the bathroom (as in use my goddamn toilet!) I flush and…huh? It’s all “wiggly” so you know, give it a bit of a shake because it’s just loose; the attachment to the flat fitting that drains the bowl and the tank.  It just needs a bit of “toggling” to reset itself.

Nope.

Now I’m no uber-handywoman but “toilet flushing issues” are relatively simple.  I heave off the back of the tank’s lid and what do I find? Well, well.  It’s a good thing that PA was blessed with a great, cast iron, bloody stomach! Holy barf-o-rama!

Alrighty-oh! Let’s dig right on in, there! And I forgot my spoon!!!

I grab this Whore of Hell, ancient chain that looks like it came from the Victorian Era and (yes, I did!!!) dove in full speed ahead and tried to figure out how to reattach it to the plastic drainer.  There was nothing to attach it to.  I swear.  Honest to, pick you fave deity of choix!

What.The.Fuck? Like, how in “Grand Toiletville” was it attached before? Victorian Era Magic? Because the whole disgust-o-rama tank looked like it hadn’t been cleaned since the Victorian Era either.

Oh, wait.  No indoor plumbing in the Victorian Era? Oh, wait–part two.  I was doing all of this forgetting that I do own a pair of rubber gloves. *PA smacks forehead* My hands were almost hypothermic!!!

But it get’s better.  The plastic tubes that refill the tank and bowl from the water supply? Victorian Era as well.  I accidentally “bumped” them.  Well, it was raining in my bathroom all over again just when my shower head went a couple of weeks ago!

FUCK ME!!! At least the water from my shower head was clean!!!

So, at this point, I’m a completely, soaking wet, filthpig and realize that my only recourse is to keep taking off the damn back of the tank and pull off the drainer every time I have to use my own, pay-loads-of-rent-for-my-shitbag-flat-can!

GRRR!!!

And because I am such a tenacious, little spaz (who finally remembered she has rubber gloves) I went back at it this morning.  Of course nothing had changed. *PA smacks forehead again*

And…of course a plumber is coming tomorrow and not today.  I am currently out working remotely, enjoying the pleasure of “public toilets.”  And may do so for as long as I “can?”

Postscript: I’ve been working through iTunes for a decent MP3 for this, so I give you “Do It Clean” by Echo & The Bunnymen. *laughing idiotically*