Ruminating About Denial and My Last Post

I’ve been thinking about it all day.  The entire issue.  One of the things that came to mind was the: “Oh, yeah.  I’ve heard that one before!” Sure, time and time again, you receive a “wake up call” and you might get your shit together for however long and then the proverbial, fall off the wagon.  Denial.

Some people even reading the post may be thinking that based upon how it was written, the details that I gave; it may have sounded rather detached in its style.  But no.

Whether I am even remotely correct about the above or not, there is a lot of emotion invested in this.  I even broke down and cried this afternoon over it all.  I am not merely sweeping this under the rug as “some boo boo.”

I need to deal with this.  And not a moment later.  My entire health and well being depends upon it.  Make no mistake.  This I now know.

However, I am not deluding myself.  I do not expect it to be a cakewalk or something accomplished overnight.  Regardless, I feel I’ve run out of both time and excuses at this point.  I do not view that as a negative (however painful it does feel) but as a positive.  I simply have to in doing this.  For is it not the motivational factor for me to get well?


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