Archive for May, 2009

You know, I think I finally figured out why I loved this song so much as a teenager–and I still do! It’s from The Dream Academy’s first self-titled album that was released back in the 80s.  It’s actually my favourite song from its entire list of offerings.  Again, something is resonating here? I’m going to add the lyrics as well because the songs obviously don’t remain on MP3 of the Moment forever but my Posts about them do.

So to illustrate a bit? An Aspie at a party?

The Party by The Dream Academy

There’s danger in the air
They walk around in pairs
Dancing to the Dansette
Well God Almighty don’t forget
You came here with me.

While Cinderella’s getting hypnotised
By the Italian with grey-green eyes
I stand deliberately out of bounds
Winding you up just to bring you down
To my level

So I’m sitting in a corner with a knife in my back
Pretending not to notice that I’m under attack
When a positive lack of direction breaks
upon my shoulders

You may dance with him all night long
Live your romance out in a popular song
But baby you’re gonna miss me
when the radio comes on
And they’re playing my song.

The boys are queuing at up at every one-night stand
To issue their final demands
The stand’s telling them about this guy
And so they’re standing with her but they’re
keeping their eyes
On some other girl

Me, I’m trying to hold it down
By thinking about the words to some other song
When I’m forced into making polite conversation
I open up the window to get some ventilation
Try to break away from the intellectual starvation.

Meanwhile the taxis are calling
And the angels are falling
Down into the garden of truth
Where two star-crossed lovers
Cut across one another
And make their way home one by one.

Hey may fire imagination into your eyes
I know strong personalities are hard to find
You messed up mine;
We’ve got a good thing let’s keep on trying
Baby you’re gonna miss me when the radio comes
‘round to my time.

When the radio comes on
So long
When the radio comes on
You were gone
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone

They’re playing my song
You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone

On a final note, I will add that any references to this song aren’t “Aspie-Specific,” if you will.  A lot of NTs could surely identify with this as well.  I just know that it rang an Aspie Bell for me and I got a good laugh about it.

As if it wasn’t bad enough that I am now on a restricted diet (no sugar, no lactose.)  Well, I already knew to stop the lactose immediately as I have developed “Transient Lactose Intolerance” before when sick in the tummy.  Sugar? Well, it’s technically in everything but don’t add any more to what I eat or drink.

However, I now know what makes me throw up all over the place! My tea!

*PA wants to cry*

Oh, my leaves…my precious darlings…

Perhaps (if and when) I come somewhat out of mourning today, I may post something else.  Something more “fascinating” than my ongoing trials and tribulations with all of this.

Ah yes, Day Three of antibiotics and still tired, in pain, probably still feverish too but I can’t even be bothered to measure it anymore…  I probably should but I can just feel it.

Evil Sickness.

One of my largest “issues” is that something can occur (either good or bad) but then there is this…some sort of…  Pause.  Who knows why it happens? It has a name, though: Life.

So, there I sit, waiting for what seems like forever and beyond (if forever could have a beyond) expecting the worst outcome possible.

If only I could somehow gain some sort of clarity and perhaps apply something like…Occam’s Razor? Or Ockham’s Razor, if you prefer. That is how you spell his last name. However, I don’t think that would work so well a lot of the time. Most of the time?

If you didn’t click on the link, I’ll give you the first, little snippet from the top (and I will not get into all of its applications–that is not part of this post–plus, I’ll fuck them all up and someone will probably yell at me.)

Occam’s razor, also Ockham’s razor,[1] is the principle that “entities should not be multiplied unnecessarily.” It is apocryphally attributed to 14th-century English logician and Franciscan friar, William of Ockham. The principle states that the explanation of any phenomenon should make as few assumptions as possible, eliminating those that make no difference in the observable predictions of the explanatory hypothesis or theory. The principle is often expressed in Latin as the lex parsimoniae (“law of parsimony“, “law of economy“, or “law of succinctness“): entia non sunt multiplicanda praeter necessitatem, roughly translated as “entities must not be multiplied beyond necessity.” An alternative version Pluralitas non est ponenda sine necessitate translates “plurality should not be posited without necessity.”[2]

When multiple competing hypotheses are equal in other respects, the principle recommends selecting the hypothesis that introduces the fewest assumptions and postulates the fewest entities. It is in this sense that Occam’s razor is usually understood.

To straightforwardly summarize the principle as it is most commonly understood, “The simplest explanation for a phenomenon is most likely the correct explanation.”

Alright.  Did you get through that? Here is, perhaps, a good example:

You are driving your car down the road and all of the sudden, it just stops.  It completely breaks down.  You have no idea why.  So, you pop open the hood.  You check your oil, your radiator, look to see if you’ve been leaving a trail of fluid behind you.  You check your belts and see if they are worn or need to be tightened, you look at your battery to find the date when you bought it and if it needs to be replaced…

What’s the most important thing necessary for a car to run? Did you bother to look at your gas gauge? Aha!

Now, back to me.  And why shaving with Ockham’s Razor would leave cuts all over my entire body.  Recall, I said, “Life?” Well, indeed, “Life” is a “phenomenon,” as said word was mentioned above but come on! Isn’t that being a bit broad? Can we really sit around (well, I suppose we can) hypothesizing about life, theorizing about it, making assumptions (well, that we can definitely do!) and then…reduce it all to the “simplicity” required so we will then be more “comfortable?” Not worry so much?

NOTE: By mentioning the word “reduce,” I am not treading anywhere near “reductionist philosophy.” Although it is interesting–especially since this is all about “philosophizing.”

And now, “reducing” it to people.  Ditto.  People are just as grossly unpredictable as life! Maybe even more so!

However, there may be some people who could manage all of this.  Maybe if they were living in some kind of rubber ball and things could just bounce right off of them! Not, for worry-worry-worry-PA! Perhaps those sorts of types could build some models regarding life situations and say: “Yep, that really important person in my life is more likely to act that way.  Works for me.  I’m not going to worry about it anymore!”

If you can bottle it and sell it, I’m first in line.

So…waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I wonder what kind of shoes Ockham preferred…?

I dragged myself out to a nearby Walk-In Clinic today.  Because of course, as soon as I wrote yesterday that this Evil Sickness had, so far, restrained itself to my gastrointestinal tract…  Guess who got the last laugh?

Evil Sickness.

It had only just started to travel North with a bit of a cough and a headache but enough is enough! So, Cipro.  Oh, sorry.  Medical short form/jargon.  That would be the antibiotic “Ciprofloaxin!” Therefore, bacterial.  Again, Evil Sickness gets “the last laugh.”  Oh…but it’s still “breathing and seething” inside me, chortling away!

Evil Sickness.

Shit.  My shit.  Dr. Walk-In must think I’m pretty bad off as I get to crap in two little bottles.  Well, not in them.  Now, that would take some talent! I guess he wants to see if there are any creepy-crawlies inside wee PA.  Good grief! Granted, I have done this before, as pleasant an experience as it certainly is, with my prior gastro problems.

Now, the Cipro.  I can’t remember the last time I was on it.  Obviously, then, it must have been years ago.  Very broad spectrum.  However, I think it hurt my tummy.  Great.  The vial is absolutely plastered with warning labels, too.  It’s hilarious! I’m surprised it doesn’t say don’t take Cipro with Cipro!

Oh, and a 24 hour fast.  Water only.  People, are you paying attention? No tea!!! I’ll do that tomorrow.

Although, that being said, I wonder if I will be able to take a decent enough dump between tonight and…? *shrugs and laughs* Actually, I have an appt. with Merlin #2 tomorrow.  Should I carry my “Sample Kit” around with me in case “an urge” suddenly hits? *PA laughing so hard*

He said my fever was down too but after all of this “shit,” I didn’t even care to ask him what it was!

Evil Sickness.

Dr. PA is getting a little bit frustrated here.  This is definitely an infection as all of her disgustingly, horrific tummy issues never gave her 102 degree fevers.  It has not spread to her chest, nose or throat.  It has only wretchedly, remained in her gastrointestinal tract.

Bacterial? My own rule is to wait at least seven and up to 10 days if you can stand it.  Then, if it’s still hanging around consider it possibly bacterial.  It has now been five days and I don’t believe I am suffering any significant fever signs anymore.  I have been improving somewhat, plus, I don’t really like taking antibiotics, anyway.  I take enough, bloody pills as it is! Not to mention, some can be hard on your stomach.  Insult to injury?

My going out last night was a rather desperate and comical attempt to try to find a “remedy” to this whole madness.  When I was in Acapulco many years ago, I spent a fair amount of time at this one bar.  The man who owned it told me that, should I get sick, drink a lot of rum (not beer) and that will take care of any tummy problems! You know, the whole “Montezuma’s Revenge” thing!

Well, I didn’t have any rum but I drank some beer.  It helped.  However, only in the immediate.  I’m still sick.  Although, at least I can eat now? So, I guess I’ll just have to wait this whole thing out and see.  Plus, a lot of “Traveller’s Diarrhea” problems are bacterial in nature.  Also, I haven’t been anywhere.  Also…let’s rule out food poisoning while we’re at it.  Definitely not.

So, in drinking a bit of beer and thinking back to why it also relieved so much of my terrible, gastric distress over the last several years…why? Why would alcohol do that?

Believe me, I dug and dug and dug into “the literature” way back then and I could find nothing that would explain drinking to alleviate any sort of gastric problems.  No, no scientific research mentioning alcohol “for medicinal purposes!” *laughing*

Then I got to thinking (and this is a further oddity) after I drink, I develop a completely, uncontrollable appetite! This is from wee PA who never wants to eat! Well, maybe once in a while…  But still! It is the most, unbelievable thing! After I drink, I am starving!!!

Bearing these two factors in mind, I pondered what my gastroenterologist ended up “doing with me” for treatment.  Now, this may be a stretch…

He told me to ingest copious amounts of Bran (the addition of Milk of Magnesia came next but the Bran was enough!) I threw the Milk of Magnesia straight into the garbage after a few days of it without even telling him! Well, I told him during our next follow up. *PA laughs* It’s okay.  He was fine with my own decision for my “treatment.” Lord almighty though, with the Bran alone! It was like the cure was worse than the disease!

A hitch, though.  It couldn’t be just any Bran.  Not the stuff you get in cereals, not even Psyllium which is uber-Bran! Nope.  Whole Bran, these big, crazy flakes that wouldn’t really dissolve in water…I felt like I was some kind of farm animal, chomping them down over the kitchen sink every morning! Slowly, they were increased from one tablespoon per week to two…then did we end up to fucking four??? Ugh.

I told you.  The cure was worse than the disease.  However, it worked.  Except for the pain during my cycles where I still want to present him with my “idea.”  Go on the birth control pill.  It sounds strange but Progesterone acts as a smooth muscle relaxant so maybe pump me up with some more?

Anyway, back to the “Fields of Gold,” liquid or otherwise.  Here’s my stretch.  But I’m wrong.  I think? *PA laughs*

Now, of course we all know that there is no Bran in beer! However, I was trying to get into some sort of correlation between the other types of grains and blah, blah…even the beer making process but wait! Someone told me recently that “Bitters” (and in beer’s case “bitter hops”) can soothe stomach pain.  I also just checked and they can increase appetite as well.

I see.  So, PAs getting all “hopped up” with her beer! If the above is true, that may attract the attention of some of my readers that are into Naturopathic Therapies.  My pharmacy is very good and works both sides–they fill medical scripts but also sell all sorts of Naturopathic “Concoctions.”

Maybe I should look into some hops? I don’t like the taste of drinking Bitters.  And then maybe I won’t have to take the birth control pill.  God knows I don’t need it to avoid getting pregnant! *PA laughing so hard*

However, I have always been on the extremely wary side of Naturopathic Medicine and have written about it before.  Meaning, I am not against it.  Just ensure you are actually seeing a professional, they are not a quack and you aren’t simply reading something, somewhere and running out to the closest “Health Food Store” and buying it.  That said, I should probably take my own advice? *PA rolls eyes*

No, Dr. PA is always on call.  If she chooses, she can obtain her “hops” safely.  And wisely obtain a “second opinion,” if needed, from her staff.

No need to comment, this is just for me to keep track.  However, feel free to comment if you wish.

Massive epigastric rising (although, I still am a bit viral but this I know so well from my seizures.)

Drooling a bit–typical for me.

Simple Partial Motor with my legs.  My right as pretty much usual.  I twisted my right ankle in the process and now have it elevated but I’m sure it will be fine.  Everything basically relaxes after SPM seizures.  However, your ankle is not a muscle…still, I’m sure it will be fine.

Tonight was interesting.  I don’t think there is any point in getting into it.  A lot of things were going through my head.  I was out, writing like crazy and finishing a short story…also something, perhaps, “personal” on my mind?

Some emotions were flowing and my head was racing but that didn’t “cause” my seizure! Please.

No, I think I know what “precipitated” it (and that isn’t even a good enough word–oh, “precipitate” a seizure!) And don’t even get me started on the whole “cause” vs. “lowering threshold” issue!

You will make go insane as no one (or few) understand the difference!

So, anyway.  I’m a little messed up, kind of sore, wobbly legs.  At some point, I will de-elevate my ankle.  I certainly have been worse, though!

I’m so ridiculous.  As soon as I could start walking, grab a bottle of water and head outside for a cigarette.  Well, come on! Gimme a break!

I think I want another one now.

Take care everyone.  I’ll try to as well.  It shouldn’t be hard.  I’m on my bed and as soon as I could make it to my med arsenal…post-seizure benzo push!

I should put a caveat here.  I probably don’t need to though.  People with Epilepsy know what they need to do.

Being the Cunning Linguist that I like to think I am, I could not resist picking this one up…oh, whenever, years ago.  I have a passion for “Reference Books.”  Any (ahem, as crappy as myself) writer should!

This one is called [ s ë x – i – c ö n ]©  That would be pronounced “lexicon.”  Like a collection of words.  I recall having a friend come over once, looking at it and saying “What’s that about? Sex Icon.”  When I showed it to her, we both laughed so hard.

Yeah, that’s right.  PA the “Sex Icon.”  Or wanna be or some kind of something special, as she appears to have some “How-To-Guide” on her bookshelf!

So yes, above is the title and below: “the ultimate x-rated dictionary.”  It is by Rod L. Evans, Ph.D.  I think the Publishers just tossed in the “x-rated” part to try and improve sales.  I mean, it already has “sex” screaming from the beginning! But then again, some people may not know what a diaeresis is. *shrug*

Well, basically that’s it! A sex dictionary! *laughing* No, no…it is a very “high brow” one.  You can sound positively smutty and smart at the same time! Seriously!

Some are outrageous! I mean, I’m one of the biggest perverts on the planet and there were words for things that even I’d never heard of! And that was just getting through the letter “A!”

Not to mention, I felt like getting a pen and a notepad to write down all the ones that were applicable to me.  You see? I told you.  Pervert.

They are offered up in phrases as well for “illustrations” that can be pretty funny too, at times.

Oh, just to think of tossing so many of these into my blog writing! People will be…what the hell is that word??? I can speak so dirty, and sexy in my “Intellectual Code!” *laughing and rolling eyes*

So, for your entertainment and education, here are some that really made me laugh:

allantotribism – female masturbation in which a sausage is used.  Derived from the Greek allas (sausage) and tribein (to rub.)

After seeing a pr0n movie depicting allantotribism, the young man quickly lost his appetite for the cookout.

aphallatosis“mental disorder” resulting from unsatisfactory sex life.  Derived from Greek a- (without) phallus (penis) and -osis (noun suffix for designating some condition, action or process.)

The psychiatrist asserted that not everyone who has an unsatisfactory sex life develops aphallatosis.

EDIT: Hands up for who feels their craziness is due to not getting any, enough or just what they’re getting plain old sucks!!!

arachnephilia – the tendency to be sexually aroused by spiders.  Derived from Greek arachne (spider) and philia (attachment, attraction.)

When I learned of my girlfriend’s arachnephilia, I told her that we should avoid black widows, lest we should violate the guidelines for safe sex.

EDIT: WTF? Spiders, huh? Well, it takes all kinds but PA has Arachnophobia!!!

avisodomy – sexual intercourse between a human male and a bird.  Derived from the Latin avis (bird) and sodoma (Sodom.)

The politician feared that the revelation of his avisodomy might alienate some voters, especially religious members of the Audobon Society.

EDIT: Okay, now this is a serious WTF.  A bird???

So, that’s it.  Brought to you by the letter, “A.” *laughing*

…you can not even handle chicken soup? However, please bear with me until the end of this post because I got an even more wonderful “surprise” today!

This is one mean son of a bitch I’ve got! I was so nauseous, in pain, so much that it woke me up at 0630hrs yesterday and there was no way I could go back to sleep.  Now, you would think I would be used to this with all of the gastro problems I have had over the years where no one could really figure out what was wrong but I know this is a virus (fever etc…)

So, fiddle with the computer until exhaustion hit, go back to bed and just lie there and feel like dying, take another Nexium/Esomeprazole to maybe take the pain away–and only liquids! Just the thought of food made me feel even worse!

I finally got up about seven hours later (there was no way I could sleep!) and stared at my DVDs for eternity.  I turned the television on and I just couldn’t resist! Oh, the irony! “Outbreak” was on! Quite loosely based on the book, “The Hot Zone” which was about Ebola.  Well, at least I didn’t have a Haemorrhagic Fever! I just felt like I did.

So, I was feeling maybe a bit better and decided to try some chicken soup.  It’s liquid.  Oh, my fucking god! As soon as I finished it–and I’m not kidding here–I was immediately in severe pain AGAIN!!! It was only chicken soup!!!

Now, I did have two of those weird, chewy, ginger, Gravol thingies left.  I saved them for bedtime.  Makes sense? I needed sleep? Pop those, a Valium/Diazepam, everything else…pray for sleep.  Thankfully, I got some.

Which brings us to today.  A couple of small victories? I managed to shower from crazy, fever-sleep.  I had enough energy to walk to the corner store to buy some Ibuprophen, more gingerale, more of those wacky, ginger, Gravol things (at least in pill form…)  Gravol, what are you doing to me??? I like you to space me out, knock me out! These things don’t! The Valium doesn’t knock me out!

Let’s kill one of those victories (and then both.)  I got my period today.  Oh, fuck me! Well, thank $DEITY for the Ibuprophen as the Acetaminophen does shit in that department! But like I need that on top of everything else right now! However, that is not the wonderful surprise I was referring to above.

I was drinking my tea and then guess what happened? Oh, I can be pretty sure you can see this coming…


Now, nobody messes with PA and her tea! Everyone knows that around here! Plus, I have to be seriously, fucking ill to actually throw up!!! What is going on here???

So, at this point, I am looking for volunteers with any sharp objects who will sever all parts of me from my abdomen to my pelvis.  Any takers?

EDIT: You’ll have to get to the bottom to see if this works out right.

I’m up way earlier than I should be.  Still not feeling so great and I can’t sleep.  And I was stupid when I went shopping the other day and bought Tylenol/Acetaminophen instead of Advil/Ibuprophen and the former does pretty much diddly for me.  Take it anyway?

Also…being the dope that I am, constantly, constantly, constantly, forgetting to pick up Gravol/Dimenhydrinate!!! Are you kidding me??? That stuff is a staple around here! Between tummy maladies popping up out of nowhere and migraines popping up from the depths of hell…

I still have a couple more of those “Ginger Flavoured” chewy ones that are just wrong but what choice do I have? I just drank one of those damn, stupid, Lemony, “Hot Drinks.”  Lemsip in the UK; NeoCitran over here in North America.  I don’t know what the hell it’s called everywhere else!

I need to go to the drugstore.  I don’t think I can make it, though.  This sucks.

Anyway…blah, blah, blah…whine, whine, whine.

However, as per the title of this post, this is a good thing to do when you’re sick and can’t really concentrate on anything else.  And the speed is fab at this time in the morning! So is the peerage! Some other folks around the world besides me have nothing else to do as well?

And as per the edit, I wanted to see if I could time the writing of this post in the amount of time it took me to get my 2-CD Box Set! *laughing*

EDIT: I was just in the middle of proofing when I got my “Ding!” I’m thinking: “Be vewy, vewy qwiet, I’m hunting wabb…” Why not? Maybe it will put me to sleep…watching the inchworm…

People have almost slapped me upside the head for saying I like Tony Bennett better than Frank Sinatra.  No, really! It’s not that I don’t like Frankie…I just prefer Tony! C’mon! What’s wrong with a little personal preference, here?

I was talking to someone who likes Tony, too.  And who also isn’t feeling so great like me at the moment.

So, for this person: “Just In Time” by Tony Bennett.

I hope it makes them smile.