I haven’t done one of these in a while.  At first, I thought WP had somehow “done” something to me as not many searches were showing up and they’ve also changed the view of your Stats.  Then I realized…duh…nuke the “summarize” off the url! That gave me more to work with.  However, I’m not sure about these.  Let’s see just what I ended up to work with!

how do you make sure there is no bleed – Well, that’s pretty easy.  There will be no blood!

i love all your little asses i love – Wow! I guess we’ve got someone who’s a big fan of my blog and everyone who reads it! Kudos to us!

why swallowing tobacco makes you sick – Blech.  Honey, you’re not supposed to swallow it! You can either smoke it or chew it.  Alright, if you swallow what you chew (enough of it?) you may feel sick.  However, if you’re just chomping down the raw thing–you’re gonna feel sick!

a boy with just a head – Whoa.  Does it (he?) just sort of “float around” or something? Do you know “this boy?” He’d be pretty freaky to see!

wayward radish – Oh, don’t you just hate those vegetables that you can not control?! Sneaking off your salad plate when you least expect it! The most frustrating thing during dinner!

why isn’t my flat selling – I’m not sure.  Everyone is bitching about “The Economy” these days but maybe your asking price is just too high.

head case theme song – You know, that’s a good point you have raised, there.  I don’t have a “Theme Song” for my blog.  Maybe I should try to come up with one.  Maybe someone could suggest one or even write one! Oh, that last idea is exciting!

i just woke up – And the first thing you did is come to my blog? Thank you! I am so flattered!

being ill graciously – I’m afraid that’s a tough one.  You see, when you go completely mental, just about anything can happen! That’s just they way it goes so you might be highly likely to upset somebody!

i’m shitting my pants – Oh, good heavens! Get to the bathroom! Or if you’re outside or something, find the closest thing to hide yourself and just go!

what to say to a stranger to be my g – *sigh* These upset me to no end! To be your what!!! I want to know!!!

cranky pants health blog – Oh, you’ve come to the right place! Welcome!

sex without cutting the groin – Please email me immediately! You need some PROPER education!

doctor laugh at small cock’s patient – I fear the person who did this search may still be somewhat traumatized by this entire incident.  They may have reversed that last two words? Either way, that is completely unacceptable by the physician!!! Unless it was really small. *Dr. PA laughing*

forget dinner website is good – Ah! Another fan…now, I am blushing.

my sister pissing – Erm…there’s kink and then there’s…oh, hell…should I just toss this out the window and say, “Who am I to judge?”

“my family sucks” – Me too.  And no doubt a lot of other readers here, as well.  So come take solace with the rest of us.  Please.

why do writers drinks – Because we think it may make us more creative? Because we suck (or we think our writing sucks so we need comfort?) Or both? Because all artists are crazy and that can lead to addictive behaviour? Because all artists live in our heads and become hermits so when we go out, we only go to bars to drink? Those are just some ideas.  I can’t speak for every writer.  They work for me, though!

how to write depressing poems – See above.

nocturnal orgasm lol – I know, they’re pretty funny, aren’t they? However, when you wake up in the middle of one, boy does feel great!

is pain contagious – I certainly hope not! Otherwise, I would wipe the entire human race off the planet!

strattera masculinized – Now, that’s a side effect I’ve never heard of! Although, if it “makes you feel more of a manly-man” and that pleases you, I’m very happy.

can eating worms make you sick – I’m not sure as I’ve never tried.  I do recall in some book I read as a kid, they fried them up and ate them.  So, if you want to try, I would recommend that route.  It would, perhaps, get rid of any nasty bacteria.  I don’t think it would be so great if you just plucked them off the ground or out of the dirt, however.

what do worm look like when shat out – I don’t know if you are the same person here or not.  If so, you do seem to have a very, strong curiosity about eating worms.  I would hazard a guess that after eating a worm or two, your shit would still look like shit.

Past Search Term Ridiculosity:

April 17 2007

May 05 2007

July 22 2007

November 06 2007

August 08 2008

December 25 2008

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  1. me2watson

    “my family sucks”, me, too.
    OMG! Did I just say that?

    How did you come up with these
    off-the-wall comments, patient A?

    It’s too early to drink. I think
    there’s a worm in the bottom of my
    coffee pot. Will it get me drunk?

    Uncle Tree

    Like

  2. Why hello me2watson (or shall I say Uncle Tree!) Yay! I am so honoured and happy you have come to visit me!

    This is a funny game that I and some other bloggers that I know like to play. It gives you a chance to take a break from other more serious posts as well.

    Where did I get the search terms? Those would be the ones in bold type. Well, you can see them all (or the most popular, perhaps) on the Stats Page of a WordPress blog. I used to have a Blogger blog but I can’t remember their search term display method.

    I just chose some of the ones that seemed to be the most completely ridiculous and also noted that there were a couple of tie-ins, so definitely use those!

    Anyway…

    As far as the remainder, in non-bold type? That is me just being (or trying to be) somewhat humourous in responding to the searches! Trying to answer the questions the searcher was asking?

    Complete silliness.

    Like




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