I’m surprised I’m even typing this but I have to, just to keep it in my “diary!”

I was out, pissed off (well, not really) but had to blow off some steam and also run some errands.  In the “blowing off some steam department,” I really wanted to get away from all of my “life” things, “blog” things…I just wanted to write!!!

And so I did.  As I usually do, with my headphones on, shutting out the world…however, what I wrote tonight took me a couple of hours at least and I still don’t know if I am happy with it.

A poem.  Rhyme, rhythm and metre…  Plus, this one was tough as it was also rather emotionally laden.  That just made it all the worse!

Then, my goddamn, fucking, right arm just died! No, it was really weird.  It felt sort of numb but beyond that.  Not to the point of paralysis but certainly pretty, bloody useless! I mean, I could barely sign the bill when I left! I also brought my external mouse with baby MacBook and I had to start mousing with my left hand.

I think that last sentence says it all if you work with computers.  My arm (and hand) couldn’t even manipulate a stupid mouse!


Anyway, toddle home, post-seizure, benzo push and maybe come back to life a bit.  Then, go to bed? Stare at the ceiling and ponder how pathetic your life is (because you have more diagnoses than Epilepsy…)


Actually, all of that shit on television with “pushing benzos” is pretty much true.  It’s more accurate if they have someone that comes in where they don’t know what the hell, what the fuck, why they’ve had a seizure, if it’s their first etc…  So, they usually go with Ativan/Lorazepam as it’s a milder benzo.  Well, I guess that’s the best way I can “describe” it.  It’s got to do with the pharmacology.

Anyway, I’ve got some of my “arm” back now, so I guess that’s good.  Still, I’m curious.  A motor without “motor?”

Dr. PA always on duty.


  1. Tony

    I have a consumer grade MacBook, too. I have it because I hate using a mouse. I always use the trackpad and keyboard shortcuts. Just like the mouse, these take some getting used to, but they’re worth it.

    A lot of people who work with computers claim that the mouse is responsible for most of the wrist/hand injuries.


  2. Hi Tony, nice to meet you and welcome to my blog as I don’t believe I have seen you here before.

    It’s funny…just reading what you say as I have always “worked” with PCs…well, in the professional world. I only bought my MacBook for personal use as I had been lusting over Macs for…

    …I can not count the years.

    But you know what? After working with PCs? Macs are “so easy?” I was and still am “Mac Stupid!”

    PCs make you go ’round and ’round to work with apps and solve problems (and problems that Macs never have, so thus I am “conditioned?”)

    So after all of that, never being properly schooled and trying to figure out computers on my own as daft as I am–all my life.

    I don’t even bother with shortcuts because I only “learned” with a mouse! I know they are all there and yes, I should use them but I actually am more familiar and comfortable with mousing.

    Maybe we’re all different?

    I am all too familiar with “RSI” issues. I had to deal with them within the workplace. It’s not limited to mousing per se but ergonomics. It can effect your entire body when using a computer for your job.

    And ironically…I had some problems there! I wore a nice “thing” on my right wrist. Almost like a splint…because of…

    …mousing. *laughing*

    Take care,


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