Archive for June 1st, 2009


…oh, bugger the hell out of it! There’s only bad news.  Really.Fucking.Bad.News.

I lost Merlin #1 today.  I will no longer be seeing him.  I will not get into why or any goddamn, cocksucking, eat donkey shit, bloody details as they are obviously confidential and personal.  No, definitely out of respect for my dear Merlin #1.

I knew something was up as I saw Merlin #2 the other day and he had received an “odd” message from Merlin #1.  He asked me if I knew anything about it and I said that no, I had no clue.  However, I would be seeing him today so I would find out.

Well, shove a TNT-loaded, telephone poll up my ass and light the fuse! Boy, did I find out! God, when we talked it through, I could barely get my words out at all and I was st-st-st-st-st-st-stuttering all over the room–that room which I will NEVER SEE AGAIN!!!

So we tidied up all outstanding issues and I went to leave.  He reached out to shake my hand and said: “It’s been a pleasure working with you.”

“…working with you.”

Indeed.  Our relationship went way beyond a “Doctor-Patient” one.  It was more like a collaborative “Doctor-Doctor” one.  He told me to keep in touch and let him know how I was doing.  I said I would and we could go out for tea!

Thankfully I have Merlin #2 and a “Doctor-Doctor” relationship there, as well.  He’s a good man.

I tried to hold back when I left his office but I just couldn’t.  I completely burst out into tears.  I tried to gather myself for my public transit ride home but…varying degrees of success for that.

It can be extremely traumatic for a psych patient to lose a physician, therapist etc… who treats them.  Extremely!

Fuck!!! Fuck!!! Fuck!!!

It took me so long to find Merlin #1 and he’s such a love.  I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye to the receptionist when I left as she must have gone on break.