Archive for July 19th, 2009


So, this is what it all comes down to.  Or at least the next “stage in the game?” After being up just about all morning (no, didn’t quite catch the sunrise!) I am now taking my stupid sleep medication at dinner time! It is taking me around four hours or so to get to sleep! That is obscene! Absurd! I feel drowsy but nowhere near enough to getting close to sleepytime, beddy-beddy, nighty-night, b-th-b-th b-th…but that’s all folks! Now, what did I estimate the peak plasma levels? Six hours? My god! Do I have to wait roughly for peak plasma levels before I can even get to sleep???

Maybe I need a dose so high it would knock out a horse?

Even still.  Taking your sleep meds at dinner time.  Does that not sound just a trifle ridiculous to anyone else out there? Or maybe more than a hell “trifle!” I’m serious, though.  I can’t keep on with some kind of schedule like this!I woke up, I don’t know, probably between 1700hrs-1730hrs? I can’t “live” like that.  Not to mention, good sleep, schedules etc… are so extremely important for those of us with Bipolar.  My moods are already off enough as it is.  I don’t need to be helped along any further in that department, thank you very much!

I’m not feeling that grand as well today, too.  From the med or from being post-“ick”tal?© I’m a little too out of it to either distinguish or care.  Either way, there will be more time to “care” in the future.  Just let it go for today–or try.

*PA pads off to go take sleep med at dinner time*


PA Land ain’t so much fun at the moment.  PAs trying to figure out how to fix it all up.  She’s been writing, trying to distract…she went out to have dinner with P. but she seized.  Not a biggie.  Same pattern as before.  Occipital lobe, going blind.

Her emotions are all over.  Is there such a term as “re-mourning?” She thought of that today.  Reliving losses all over again?

Her sleep is a mess.  The new med can’t knock her out properly.  She’s trying not to reach for the Valium/Diazepam for a “push” to give the new med a chance (300mg Seroquel/Quetiapine XR if you didn’t know.)  It’s been a week now and last night she was up for four hours–the immediate release would only take an hour or so?

Now?

She’s had some alcohol and that is not the way to try and get a new med to knock you out properly.  In fact, she’s wondering if that will even help! I mean, four hours for a med that used to put you to bed just fine? *PA checks time*

She definitely needs to address this.

Laters.

No kidding.  Laters, indeed.

*PA ponders last time she’s seen a sunrise*

They are beuatiful, though.