Oh, I had forgotten to mention this! Despite all the horror (“Oh the humanity!”) they actually had pyjamas during my last hospital stay!  Now, hold on.  Please, make no mistake.  This is serious hospital inpatient business.

I have only had ‘jammies during my first stay.  Just bottoms then but still, much better than those awful half-dress-you-up “things” that can never keep you warm! Not to mention, PA is too spastic and clumsy to ever tie them up at the back! Every time she’s gone in for tests she just wraps one around her and walks in for her CTs, MRIs etc…

They still had those there as well, but BAH! Go for the bottoms that are so nice and comfy! Thus, they always end up coming home with PAs own clothes!

I’m not done yet, though.  That evil, sinister, “PA is still tempted to…” erm, never mind my vengeful thoughts…  The place actually had robes! Now, for my seventh hospital stay, I thought I had seen all they had to offer for “patient fashion statements.”  But robes?

Oh, yeah.  This is coming home with me too!

It’s quite attractive, actually.  Little stripes of white and light blue.  However, no belt.  That makes decent sense, really, as someone might get a sudden urge to strangle themselves on the ward.  It has a pocket though.  Handy for carrying around any of your mental…well, whatever mental stuff you want to carry around with you?

I think it looks quite nice on me.  Hospital clothing is just about “One Size Fits All” so for a lot of the men, it was sort of a T-shirt/Miniskirt sort of deal.  But for wee PA, well, a robe definitely!

J. came to visit me and I was wearing it, sitting up quite regally on my bed.  I asked him if he liked my “Smoking Jacket.”  He just sort of chuckled.  Well, alright.  It’s not quite a Smoking Jacket.  No deep red and black patterned silk, no tapered lapels…and no belt.

So, yes.  PA stealing things from hospitals.  I have a severe lust for scrubs.  It’s bad.  Extremely.

I am on a first name basis with the Tech. that has done my EEGs for my seizures at one hospital (not the aforementioned, evil one.)  When I was last there, I asked him if he had any of his that he could give me.  He said that he was sorry as he took his home every day to wash them.  I then asked him if there were any somewhere else on the floor that he could give me.  He apologized again and said that they were all kept in the Laundry Room in the basement.

Hehehe…

“…Scrubs Slut…Scrubs Slut…”

“…REDRUM…REDRUM…”

That’s an older joke from my blog if you’ve never read it.

So, off I went to the basement with the theme song of Mission Impossible running through my head.  Now, this was after my Sleep Deprived EEG, I was also post-“ick”tal© as I had seized the night before my EEG and my lovely Tech. hadn’t done quite as good a job as before of cleaning up my hair from the joyful “Electrode Cement.”  It’s not that bad, really.  Nonetheless, I vaguely wondered if anyone saw me, would they think I was a psych. patient that had somehow escaped from the floor?

No one noticed but I still wanted to be careful.  Someone rifling through all the scrubs??? Oh, and then sizes! A top doesn’t matter too much but I am small! The fucking bottoms! They’re the problem! Okay, these look alright but does the top match the bottoms? Yes. Everything has to match in my world.  Patterns, repetition.  I’m an Aspie.

Okay, dammit! These will have to do! I shoved them in my knapsack and then just toddled off like I was a regular employee.  Plus, they have the name of the hospital on them as well.  Even better!!!

“…Scrubs Slut…Scrubs Slut…”

“…REDRUM…REDRUM…”

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  1. Haha, you’re so great. They probably didn’t notice them missing.

    Oh, and btw, it’s also aspie to ignore fashion and wear the most unmatched clothes ever! :D

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  2. lili

    I can sweet talk a nurse into anything. I’ll keep this in mind the next time I have a visit to the hospital. Mini-scrubs for PA-check.

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  3. Hi Asdquefty. *laughing* Thanks. Yes, there were a whole bunch of them there. I was trying to figure out “which colour” was designated for “which job.” You see, Dr. PA didn’t want to be wearing Hospital Porter scrubs. No. *shakes head*

    *laughing again*

    And yes, again. I do know that Aspies don’t give a toss about what they wear a lot of the time as well! OMG. You should see me sometimes!

    I’m sort of a weird “Aspie Paradox,” though. I can behave in some manners that would be considered “typical” and then some not–or at least…”less typical?” That may be tied into my comorbidities, however. “Who the hell knows?” I say.

    What I also say is: “Who the hell cares?” *grin*

    Hi lili. Score! Can you go for light green if possible? I already have light blue and dark green.

    Signed,
    Scrubs Slut

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  4. lili

    Light green it is-and it may be something you get sooner than later if I have any more cramps today.(Because I may go and choke my old obgyn and end up 5150’d)

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  5. Oh, lili, I’m sorry you feel so bad. I hope you feel better soon. And thanks for the light green but I feel bad that the scrubs will be at the expense of both your mind and body!

    And a possible criminal record.

    And just for trivia’s sake, I actually know what a 5150 is–or getting 5150’d. However it is a unique code and the only one I know as per specific regions.

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  6. Lili

    Thank you today I am actually feeling better so no harming the docs. I’ll get the scrubs the smiley way :)

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  7. I dont think they would have missed them at all half the staff are in another world of there own.:-) but they are loverly people .

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  8. Hi Lili. I’m glad you are feeling better. And always a good thing to be diplomatic rather than violent. I’m a complete pacifist anyway so that’s the only way I see it.

    Hi big and tall. Well, I must say! You are the first retailer of clothing to comment on my blog! Thank you for saying that you think they probably won’t miss them. That soothes my conscience. *rolls eyes*

    I do agree, though. They are loverly people and necessary. Clean scrubs are definitely needed when working in hospitals!

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