Concrete Resonance and Wake Up Calls

September 18, 2009 in ADD, Asperger's, Bipolar Disorder, Facts About Patient Anonymous, Head Injury, Health, Medicine, Patient Advocacy, PTSD and Dissociative Disorders, Seizures, Spock, Therapy, You Decide

I’d like to joke that banging my head on the concrete pavement when I had my first tonic-clonic seizure (which I did do), has “knocked some sense into me.”  However, I think that maybe it did.  Well, not literally but please, read on.

The seizure happened on September 02, 2009.  Considering the date of this post, it has now been over two weeks since it happened.  It has made me very ill.  So much so, that I have been “ordered” by Non-Arsey Neuro to stay on “Bed Rest,” until we can speak on Monday.  Spending a lot of time in bed (despite using baby MacBook to amuse myself), has provided me with some time to think.

This has been my worst “altercation,” if you will, with my health.  It has affected me mentally, physically, emotionally–pretty much all the way around.  I am not saying that I have had a “brush with death,” or trying to be overly dramatic, here.  I am not terminally ill, or at least I don’t suspect that I am.  tonic-clonics are the most serious seizures you can have, and I do believe I should not be this ill.  Nonetheless, I am merely speaking of what has happened to me, it’s impact, and how it has affected me.

I think it has been at least enough to allow me to see some things in a different light.  I am not quite sure but I seem to have a feeling somehow.  At least I think so? It is so difficult to put our feelings into words, isn’t it? Especially something like this! A type of “feeling” where you notice some kind of change in your view of something? I am even finding it difficult to compose this post altogether.

I received an email from someone last night, who had reminded me of something I had said to them some time ago.  This person said that they had never appreciated so strongly, the statement I had made, up until now.  You see, something had changed regarding their perception in their life.  I made a joke about my words actually sticking in someone’s head, and heaven forbid! They actually resonated? *laughing*

Still, I feel something is happening.  I feel like…somehow I am beginning to see some things differently in my world.  And even if it’s just a beginning? That’s good enough for me! Because if I’m right, these things, these “changes,” need to very much occur.  I can’t, or won’t, say this experience has had some kind of “magic wand,” effect.  No, not at all.  Hardly.  However, if it has given me some sort of impetus to move ahead in a part of my life, where I definitely need to, that is a very good thing.