Archive for October 20th, 2009

NO! I DID NOT DRINK! But oh, did I want to! I was so anxious leaving J.’s that I had to take a Valium/Diazepam as I thought I was going to throw up all over the place! After being so sick before, with the tonic-clonic in early September and staying there for a week, I subsequently came home and ended up sick for a month.  That spiralled me down into a terrible depression that kicked off a lovely Bipolar Cycling spree.  Then, I had the two “Migraines From Hell,” that sent me right back to “The Hospital of J.”  Which really were just the beginning, though.  What actually did me in, was all of my diagnoses exploding out of my head in one night.  I kid thee not.


OMG.  I didn’t know whether to cry or start banging my head against the closest hard surface (well not really…?) More the former–I was fighting back tears.  By the time I was getting closer and closer to my neighbourhood, I became a walking (or sitting), depending upon your perspective and my transportation situation, a complete and massive Stim-Fest! Bugger me all to hell!

I’ve been off the booze for a week now, so surely… *shakes head* This is purely anxiety driven.  So, refocus.  Hard.  There really are things you need to do.  Such as…

Go home and see if the city has condemned your flat, since you have been gone for a week! But first, stop by and see your Hair Guru, and try to keep your hands from flapping so much, you Aspie, Stimmy Spaz! *laughing* You need a haircut! NOW! Looks like a booking for Thursday? He’s not there today, so you must call him tomorrow!

Before entering flat, look at mail.  OMG! Bills! Pay.Them.Now.  Fuck! Something from the hospital where your upcoming VEEG is to be done? Wot? They’re supposed to call.  It’s in some puffy package but not a Jiffy.  Oh, it’s for a donation and they’ve given you a “Tote Bag” as a…bribe? Sorry, hospital.  Thank you for giving me a VEEG in your Specialized Epilepsy Clinic, and the other procedures you have given me as well, but I don’t have any spare change.

Once inside, realize city probably should have condemned your flat.  It is in need of some serious fumigation assistance.  Nonetheless, walk over all detritus, strip off your clothes, and take a shower! After being Ms. Sicky Pants at “The Hospital of J.,” you need to get cleaned up! Plus, a nice hot shower to relax you…? Wot? HOT SHOWER??? Where did all the frickin’ hot water go (again…I hate my flat…I hate my flat…) Mental note: buy new razor blades…barely had enough time to get everything taken care of! *laughing*

Get dressed.  Put on a pair of your scrubs! Ah…your lust for scrubs! “…Scrubs Slut…Scrubs Slut…”  Your scrubs make you happy.  Mental note: find someone to procure you more scrubs (apart from yourself when you stole your second pair…ssshhhh!) *grin*

After whipping off clothes for shower, sort for laundry! One household chore you really don’t mind doing as it basically does itself.  Oh bugger, again! Mental note: buy more stain remover! OMG! Buy more everything! You have nothing in your flat! You are going to revert to never eating again after leaving “The Hospital of J.,” because you suck!

Unpack bag.  Look at all of your meds, and toss them into the bathroom carelessly while swearing at them.  Look at baby MacBook and smile.  baby MacBook makes you happy. *grin*

Realize you left bills in kitchen that you need to pay! *gasp* Run to kitchen and grab bills.  Realize you have grabbed wrong envelopes.  Run back to kitchen.  While there, remember you have an outstanding order for a full blood panel that was due in March. *rolls eyes* Think that maybe it can be done along with MRI tomorrow.  Start digging to find paperwork.  Found it! W00t! Mental note: make “mental note” of other errands to do tomorrow. *huge eyeroll*

Ugh.  Even after brushing your teeth your mouth feels like you’ve been in the Sahara Desert for roughly five years.  Run back to bedroom to grab water bottle.  Fill it up and drink nearly the entire thing in kitchen in one gulp.  Go back to set up baby MacBook.  Realize bills are still in kitchen.  Run back to kitchen to grab them.

Power up baby MacBook and just sit and stare at it for a while.  Check your email and see you have another, odd missive from a “Large Medical Site,” and wonder about its “reputation,” and if they are trying to merely “pimp you out.”  Check Twitter, start writing blog Post and forget about your bills…ACK! PAY BILLS!!!

Pause and look with great shame and distress at your bed/office/closet/pharmacy. Must Fix! Top Priority! *laughing*

Suddenly hear odd sound out of nowhere that sets your startle response into overdrive! (Yes, this is real time blogging now, folks…)  Think a bit and start to get a little worried and stressed about… *sigh* Ponders… *sigh*

Consider wrapping up this Post now, as it’s getting long, maybe should take care of the “pondering,” and there’s still more laundry to do!