It seems I’ve taken to lying in my bed these nights, with too many things running through my head.  I can not stop them.  They are like demented fish in a shallow pool, with half of their tails missing, and gills on either only their left or right sides.  If I owned a gun (which I do not and that is a very good thing), I wouldn’t be able to shoot a single, damn one of them if they weighed more than I do! Granted, these slimy bastards do weigh rather heavily on my mind.

This is bothering me for at least two reasons, that I can see so far at this juncture.  One, is that I have had these fish-thoughts, murkily paddling about in my brain before, and they should not be there.  I wish to stop this complete aberration of my mental faculties in this manner, of ongoing repetition.  “My Wish,” then poses a bit of a problem for me.  In (fish-)thinking of my “repetition,” I become a bit more…”aberrated,” shall we say? So, that is problem number one.  It also leads me to problem number two, perhaps? A bit of a Psychiatric Segue?

For the first time, in a very long time, I see a bit a shard of hope in Hades that I may be able to start getting my life back together.  Maybe.  A start.  With that rather small shard, I should have added, that is currently existing in Hades.  Let’s not hope it is made of ice or any other thing that is somewhat temperature sensitive.  Or, something that is remotely combustible in any way at all! And thus, that is problem number two.  fish-thoughts, please leave.  You are certainly “inconvenient,” in your most benign form, and you are holding me back.  You are getting in the way.

Ah, but what to use as a bait and pole.  I can tell you how many times I’ve…  No.  I can not tell you how many times I have used the “bait and switch,” to try and rid myself of my fish-thoughts.  However, what I can tell you is how utterly ineffective that method is.

Perhaps I should try and do some writing, to at least attempt to keep these reprehensible fish-thoughts at bay.  For now? I do certainly need to work on my writing–in more ways than one.  I have some items still awaiting words, and I need to get better at my writing, period.

Speaking of better writing, I read something that made me laugh recently from my current.  Let me find it, to give proper credit…

“You step up to the window in that fifth-floor lobby decorated by Kafka’s proctologist…” © Tom Robbins “Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas”

And further, speaking of Kafka…hmmm. Maybe my fish-thoughts aren’t so bad after all?

  1. lili

    How very interesting…fish thoughts.Well if it motivates you I say go for it.


  2. Hi lili. Thanks for your comment. Again, I try to go all “literary” on people, and I think they don’t know what to say. Or they think it’s crap! *rolls eyes*

    True, this Post was born out of me literally lying in bed and pondering a whole bunch of stuff bothering me, but then it moved on from there with what I thought was something that had some literary merit. And humour.

    I guess not. *laughing*

    Oh, well. It amused me. I thought it was fun to write and I’d been trying to find a way to put that damn Kafka quote into a Post for ages now!

    Also, when I found the Science Daily article, pure serendipity! Or, just plain old luck! It was too good to be true, though! I thought it worked perfectly at the end!


  3. aspietalk

    I like your literary posts the best, but I’m just weird like that.


  4. Hi aspietalk. No! You have just paid me the highest compliment here regarding my “Literary Posts.” Again, no one ever responds to them so I’m like…okay…

    Have I confused people? Do they not like it? Does it not come across? Is it really that bad??? *laughing*

    If you say you’re weird, that’s fine because I’m a dork.


  5. aspietalk

    most people don’t like to have to think. literary stuff makes people think. and deep people who like deep literary stuff tend to keep to themselves, so they’ll look at your post, appreciate, but say nothing.

    i dunno, just a theory.


  6. Hi aspietalk. Good and interesting points. I can always count on you for that!

    A lot of time, I have no idea who reads my blog. Over time, my “regular readers and/or commenters” have changed so much due to many factors.

    I don’t know if that means anything but more the former: I have very little clue who reads me. In fact, there are/have been times when someone tells me they read me regularly, but do not comment! That one really gets me! Surprises the hell out of me, more like it!

    If it’s sort of the first time, I feel all silly! Kind of flattered and exposed at the same time. Which doesn’t make a lot of sense as I’m the one that’s writing this crazy blog in the first place!

    Then there are times when I feel like I’ve “lost” people who have read me regularly, and they’re still reading and tell me so.

    CLANG! Here we go again! My brain just kind of halts for a minute.

    I got another real “CLANG’er” the other day, with all of the “Psych Central Top 10 2009 Bipolar Blog” stuff going around. I got an Honorable Mention (uh…okay…) and Seaneen over at Pole to Polar got slot Numero Uno.

    I couldn’t figure out why on earth I was getting so many Referrals from her blog! I went over and… She linked to me saying basically, “Yay for PA! I love her blog!”


    Hearing and reading that stuff? Wow.

    Sorry, I think I totally deviated here. Totally.


  7. aspietalk

    That oft-used cliche, “If a tree falls in a forest, and no one sees, does it make a sound?”

    You are neither a tree, nor are you falling, and even better, you have a voice, and it is heard, and you are obviously a real live human being thru the words you post online.


  8. Hi aspietalk. Thanks, hon. That made me feel special. I guess we all need that once in a while, huh? Or maybe more than once!


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