I’m still trying to organize the family X-mASS jazz.  Mental Mommy called last night, after I had left her a message the day before.  I said I was ready after finally getting all the gifts sorted for the visit to my Great Aunt and Uncles’ place.  The primary reason is not to torture myself via PTSD and family trauma due to X-mASS.  No.  I heavily suspect my Great Uncle is Autistic, and I want to see him “in action.”

When talking to Mental Mommy last night, one consideration was weather conditions for driving.  This makes sense, of course.  However, this little “idea” that was niggling away in the back of my mind, makes “sense,” too.  Because of all the driving (the bunch of us are in varied locales), Mental Mommy was concerned her husband would grow weary over all the travel.

Do any of you possess the foresight to see where I am headed?

Although Mental Mommy said she didn’t want to “inconvenience me,” would it be alright if I stayed over at their place on the way home? AHHHHHH!!!

I said I’d bring along my meds…  Ugh.

It may not happen.  Since she mentioned it being an “inconvenience,” I might get lucky enough to be driven home, and thus, not have the least of “inconveniences” of couch surfing there.  However, it could prove an opportunity to pick her insane brain for information about bio-dad.  I have been wanting to do that for a very, very long time.  She seems to have come around over the last couple of years in this area.  However again…after the X-mASS visit, my own insane brain may have already melted to the point of dripping out of my ears on the drive home.

Another thing I was thinking about regarding the visit to the Great Aunt and Uncle, is that it could be good in another way? They will both be (are already!) totally thrilled to see me.  That said–a possible positive? Also, I really want to focus on him as much as possible.  If I can somehow DO that, another (possible) positive.

The hurdles to all of these “possibles” that I am seeing right now, is how absolutely loony my mother will be! I fully expect it to be horrific! There is no “possibility” she won’t be outright bonkers over the entire affair! She’s going to be in full on (hypo)mania mode! I could even tell by her voice on the phone last night! Bloody Hell!

So, try and block that out and focus on the older generation.  That is a definite tactic in my mind, for sure! At the top of the list! Perhaps second, only to taking lots of Valium!

Another thought, too.  I wonder if it may become a big Stim-Fest? Sort of like Great Uncle will get going and then I will, too? *laughing* A nice game of “Stimmy Ping Pong,” or something? Oh, I love the thought of that! Bonding with my Great Uncle, through such vast and varied forms of Spectrum behaviour! Now, that may make the visit completely worthwhile.

Awesome.  Totally.


  1. uh, did you survive? (i hope so)


  2. Hi Arkay. The plans haven’t been arranged yet so I haven’t gone for the visit. I’m just hoping for the best for now? *shrug*


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