From Patient Anonymous…With the Help of Aspie Penguin and Spock

First, I would like to thank everyone for coming by and reading the posts that Aspie Penguin wrote.  They received a lot of views, so if you were checking in on me, that means a lot.  Well, more than a lot.

I did manage to make it to school today.  No, I didn’t hide under my duvet that looks like a mass of rubble; a visual form of what my thoughts were last night! My thoughts, now? Well, maybe “smaller rubble?” “Pebble rubble?” Regardless, still “better rubble?”

I’m tired.  It was stressful.  About halfway through the morning, my neck felt like rubble! I have a lovely, tension headache.  It’s alright, though.  A small price to pay for some sanity saved?

Things may have quieted down.  There seemed to be less “tension,” in the room.  However, still some.

At this point (I am still a bit shaky with this, so I can’t look too far ahead), all I am doing is ignoring everyone, and focusing only on the Instructor and the work.  I love both of them.  I am trying to take myself back to where I was before; when I was happy and excited before all of this bullshit started.

I am not engaging with anyone else in the room (apart from the Instructor), unless it is absolutely necessary.  I will continue to do so, even during Clinic Rotations, with my assigned partner.  Even though all of my life I have always cared what people think of me (to the point of completely falling apart), I must now be prepared for possible perceptions of: “cold, aloof, bitch.”

I must be selfish.  Which I never am.  I must focus upon obtaining this education strictly for myself.  If I know the answer to a question, I will give it.  If I have a question, I will ask it.  I will not (or try), to offer any solutions to others’ problems.  Also, I have excellent relationships with both the Instructor, and the School’s Operator.  These relationships include complete candour.  I will use it to my own benefit.

My relationship with the Instructor is even better.  I will use it in terms of future employment prospects, and other things that may assist me.  I am definitely going to be “selfish,” and take advantage of all she has to offer.  I am pitiful at “Networking,” but she is so enthusiastic about it all, I am hardly lifting a finger.  All I am doing, is coming up with ideas, and she is doing all of the legwork.  All I need to do is ask something of her.  I can almost see us becoming friends once this program is done!

I guess that’s it for now.  I’m still kind of fritzy about everything.  And very tired.  I’m just going to take it day by day, and I definitely need rest.  Plus, let’s not forget, Clinic Rotations start this Friday! Stress!


  1. I agree with your strategy, it’s pretty much how I’ve been getting by in the one class where I have to do group work.

    When the term started, I formed a group with three friends, M, B, and T. The instructor forced M to go in a separate group because “the 4 best students can’t be in the same group.” Fair enough, I suppose, but he removed the guy he most has reason to hate.

    Anyway, last week he stuck our group with a clueless old guy despite the fact that we were working very well, as one of the groups got too small from people dropping the class. By last week, we were done the assignment that’s due tomorrow, so the three of us are just ignoring Y. It’s fucked because he’ll get marks for what we did. B and T hate Y, and I’m ambivalent but I know the only way we’ll pass is if I stick together with B and T. Hopefully we can trade for someone else, I’m going to talk to the prof tomorrow. The problem is that the prof is the chair of the department, so it’s really troublesome to go higher.

    End rant, my comment is almost a post in itself… LOL O.o spaz.

    Same sort of thing as you, I guess, since me, B, and T have decided to just ignore Y and not talk to him.

    Hell, besides B, M, T, and another student D, I don’t talk to the other people in my program because they’re incompetent. As in, 3rd year CS and can’t remember what “System.out.print(‘Hello’);” does in Java.


  2. Hi Asdquefty. Hey, don’t worry about long comments. I don’t care! People can write whatever. Well, nothing spammy, or trolly, or anything like that! Obviously?

    I completely understand this. I do not do well in group assignments. Oh, holy hell! Today, in class??? O.o

    I had to start one. I should put this up on Twitter as more crap happened, too! Because I am so med geeky and rather “ahead” of my group? *sighs* I also misinterpreted the assignment’s instructions. All in, I made it much more complicated than it needed to be!

    I was being good in approaching things with the others, though. I was letting them make decisions. I was asking them how they wanted to handle the work.

    Anyway, we hardly got past the second question, and it was 2/3 of the way through the class! The Instructor asked how we were doing and… *gasp* Because everything has been so fragile, I thought I had just started WW III within my group!

    I had a bit of a mental moment, or at least was teetering on the brink of one? I even grabbed a Valium out of my rucksack! Thankfully, we got it sorted. However, due to so much time lost, our group has a lot of homework to do tonight!

    I think I apologized 37 times. So did the Instructor for, perhaps, not giving clear instructions? I’ll type this up, and the rest of the “fun” of the day, on Twitlonger. *crosses eyes*

    Ah, Clinic Rotations have been pushed back, as well. We’re not ready yet. We don’t have certain things that would be specifically required for the office portion. So, a bit of stress alleviated for this week? *sighs again*


  3. arifaery

    Hi PA,

    I’ve been off the radar for a while but I’m back.

    I read through some of what’s been going on. I’m sorry you were thrown for such a loop, but it’s good someone was there to take care of you. (That is assuming AspiePenguin is a person and not an alter ego. That might be a wrong assumption)

    It’s good that you’re doing some self care.

    Okay, my attention span is shot but I just wanted to let you know I’m reading and sending good vibrations your way.


  4. Hi arifaery. Good to see you. Not to worry about being “off the radar.”

    Thanks about everything. I won’t deny it; it has been hell. Aspie Penguin? Yes, as Spock, he is an alter ego. And, they are both very fine ones at that!

    Self care? *rolls eyes* Never been so good in that department, but if there ever was a time when I’ve needed it, now would be that time!

    Thanks again for coming by and sending the good vibes. Take care, hon.


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