The Things You Do For Friends

J. came by today.  Not just for a visit.  No, for a rather large amount of money.  Not a sum that I can really afford but he needs it.  I knew of his financial situation before.  Rather complicated.  Then he told me of his real financial situation.  That is one of the things that basically drove him to being quasi-suicidal and me doing everything I could within my power last week to hold him together.

I get a little nervous with “personal loans.”  It’s not so much that I care about my money (even though I am quite far from rich!) I just know the horror stories that become attached to the act.  People not repaying, the lender really not having the money and losing more money, ultimately relationships destroyed.

It’s like me loaning my books? Well, maybe not so much, but a parallel.  I rarely loan my books! My books are sacred to me! I do not write in them, I do not bend their spines, I do not fold over their corners of pages to bookmark them…you get the idea.  Far too many times, I have loaned them out to people, only to lose them.  Perhaps an extreme analogy.  I care more for my books than my money?

However, a bad money story? Non-bio dad nearly fleecing me of $5,000.  Oh, gee.  Why should I mind? I was his “daughter,” after all! I barely managed to catch him in the act and get it all back.  J. is different, though.

Someone (an ex-friend?) once helped me out in a similar manner.  I still feel guilty for never paying him back to this day.  I always said I would.  We only spoke of it once.  He simply said, “Whenever you see someone else in the same situation, don’t worry about paying me back! Just do the same for them.”

Well, I still feel guilty for never paying back that money, but on the other hand, I’d still “give” this money to J.  That’s right.  I don’t even care if he pays it back to me.  Knowing his financial history, I don’t think I’ll ever see it again.  That’s fine.  You do whatever you need to for your friends.


  1. Someone once told me – never loan anything to anyone unless you’re prepared to never see it again.

    I’d rather keep the friendship than worry about the money. And so yeah, it’s good if you can be cool with not worrying about the repayment. The friend who once did the same for you was right.

    And I rarely loan books either. Unless I do. And then I get very anxious about it. But hey, if I’m that worried, I can always buy the book again, right?

    Good for you in helping out J!!


  2. Hi Svasti. That’s a funny expression. Now it makes me afraid to loan anything to anyone ever again! *laughing*

    Good point about the books but yeah…I guess it’s because like I said, they’re “sacred” to me. Maybe it’s some weird form of Aspie Object Attachment! *rolls eyes*

    But seriously, why am I so attached to my books? Could be some Object Attachment going on. I mean, they were my “best friends” growing up. Really, though. I spent so much time with them, threw myself into them, they were always reliable and there for me, never teased me, bullied me or made me cry!

    Thanks about helping J. I had to, of course. If I didn’t, it would be like sitting high above on a ship and looking down. All the while, there’s a man in the ocean and you’re refusing to throw him the life ring.


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