I wonder.  Is there any Aspie out there that likes to shop? Hell, anyone who’s totally crackers at all, that likes to shop? Although, there is one thing that I do like to take my time with, browse around and stare at for a while.  That would be lingerie! *grins*

I’ve just gotten home from about a one and a half hour “marathon,” and I’m kind of freaking out a bit.  Time for a Valium?

Valium has surpassed being “my best friend,” and is now “my lover.”  Not that they are mutually exclusive, of course.  However, if Valium was a real woman, we would be having the hottest relationship of my entire life! This, based upon the fact that I’ve been “popping her” like crazy, anywhere and everywhere, all over the place! We have NO SHAME!!! *laughing so hard*

So, I’ve finally done it! I’ve gone out and bought the damn clothes that I’ve needed for so long! Or at least some of them? And I suppose another place I don’t mind “browsing” is just where I went.  Second Hand Stores.  They really can be a lot of fun, and goldmines, too.  On the other hand, also painful if they’re not organized.  This one close to me, is (whew!) Also, if I feel like being a “label whore,” not bad for that, either.  Who came home with me, today?

Esprit, Banana Republic, Laura Ashley, Liz Claiborne, Levi Strauss, Ralph Lauren…did I miss anybody? I think that’s it.

So, what necessitated this long avoided, shopping trip? I still haven’t sorted out my Clinic Rotation! I have no damn clue what I’ll need to wear! Nothing I have really fits me (beyond business suits that I can get away with being a bit baggy and hanging off me.)  I could be in scrubs and nothing would please me more! “…Scrubs Slut…Scrubs Slut…”  Or, I could be in some form of business casual.  Definitely lacking there.

Next, my jeans.  Oh, good god! WAY beyond shelf life.  Plus WAY beyond size! Now, I love comfy, torn jeans, but if you could see what I have? You would laugh yourself immediately to your grave!

I didn’t quite go the business casual, route.  I actually went for some dressier things.  I always prefer to be over-dressed than under-dressed.  Is that odd for an Aspie? So often, we don’t care about our appearance.  Well, I also do my fair share of wandering around, looking like a completely, unkempt four-year-old. So, I guess that evens things out.  I also mumble a lot during those times, as well.

My suspicions were confirmed that any pants needed for “work attire” would be found in the Young Boy’s Department.  I’m not kidding.  Even a size 14 for a boy is a bit large in the waist for me.  I did find a pair in the Women’s that’s a Size 3-4 that worked.  So, in essence, I’m a 12-year-old boy with breasts. Which kind of makes sense, as I’m the same height as when I was 12, only a lot smaller! Not that I was big to begin with! *shakes head*

Shirts were all Small? Maybe a Medium in there? That is a damn miracle, as my arms are like monkey arms! I have “freak arms,” or something.  Buying shirts has been the bane of my (already, bloody, painful shopping) existence all my life!

The jeans.  Not so bad? A 50/50? 60/40? 70/30 split? At this point, does anyone fucking care?!?!?! Enter, Liz and Levi.  Levi and I get the last laugh, though! *snickers*  A couple from Liz that are a bit baggy but I give up! *waves white flag* I have no jeans!!!  But Levi? Now, this is where I possibly scored! A great pair of black, 501 button flys! Now, I could never wear Levi’s button flys precisely because I didn’t look like a 12-year-old boy! BWAH-HAH-HAH!

All jokes aside, women reading this, please don’t think that I’ve got it made.  That, sure, I’ve managed to become so small that I can peruse the Ladies’ Sizes 0-6 with such ease.  My body may look “alright,” but it’s not.  Society’s really buggered us in terms of what we think we should look like.  I still buy into it.  Looks can be deceiving, though.  Even if I have what some may think is an awesome body, it’s actually a bit of a sick body.  You don’t want my body.

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  1. licoriceroot

    How about we trade and you take my extra 30 lbs I’ve packed on in the past year!!!!

    Like

  2. I *HATE* shopping with a passion. The passion of 100000000 fiery hot suns. I kid you not. Doesn’t help that nothing fits me right. I can’t buy anything that’s one piece because my hips are a different size than my shoulders.

    *sigh*

    Like

  3. May

    I don’t really like shopping much, but second hand stores are fabulous :) And I’d also rather be overdressed than underdressed. It just feels better!

    Like

  4. Hi licoriceroot. It’s a deal! I’ll take anyone’s extra weight they’ll be willing to give me!

    Hey katm. Good to see you. Nice to hear I’m not alone? Yes, shopping stinks. Well, except for what I wrote above, perhaps? I don’t know. I stink right now. I am not in a good mood.

    Hi May. Yes, as above, Second Hand can be fun. Also good to hear that I’m also not alone in the over-/under- category.

    I remember one Aspie commenter who laughed about how I had to have a “good” hairstyle and stylist! Still, I can do the “Aspie Train Wreck,” and look disastrous. Oh, yeah.

    Like




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