I need to make an appt. with Non-Arsey Neuro.  I also need to do some other things.

I need to try and turn off my nutbar radar, somehow.  If I can’t do that, I need to learn to stay away from said nutbars, and stop discussing both their mental health issues and my own.  If I can’t do that, then I need to be prepared to get the snot beaten out of me by angry wives (who are also nutbars) when they find me having such intimate discussions with their husbands about such delicate topics.  If I can’t do that, I need be prepared to play both individual and couple’s counsellor.

I also need to stop drinking when taking clients out for business meetings, even if it’s not much.  I need to not care if anyone else wants to imbibe at the table.  I need to think about the bill I have to pay at the end of the meeting.  I need to remember I don’t have a job, so paying exorbitant restaurant bills with no income is more than a tad ridiculous.

That was pretty much how things went, yesterday.  Although, the meeting happened first, and he wasn’t the nutbar with the wife that wanted to send me straight to hospital.  That all happened later when my business partner and I decided to move on and discuss other things.  So, a bit of a “busy day?” What do you think?

Regardless, it got this little Aspie pretty riled.  All of the yellin’ and screamin’! I’m in the middle of it, initially trying to  defend myself and avoid a rather unpleasant trip to the ER.  Then, I’m all of the sudden this insane woman’s best friend, and she’s all over me.  My business partner is just sitting there in a daze.  Ahhh…help me out here! He tried, but nope! She’d have none of that! She only wanted Dr. PA!

Enter Non-Arsey Neuro.  When I finally got home, feeling like an Aspie cannonball that had been shot half way around the world, there was some spazzing out in quite a nice fashion.  Dr. PA was even stimming like hell in front of the two nutbars during her “session,” so no surprise some floodgates would open when she got home.

Well, here we go like that last meltdown (although I wasn’t totally melting down last night.)  More along the lines of: What the hell? Oh, my god! AAAAIIIEEEE!!!

So.  As before, I needed my cane to walk around, as I was all stumbly, bumbly! Plus, I’m feeling like I’m post-“ick”tal© and disgusting–as before.  And no…I didn’t seize.  Unless it was so small, so miniscule that…? What.  Becoming overstimulated due to having Asperger’s is somehow involving a simultaneous seizure, that is so minute, I can’t even recognize it? Also, only certain seizures have left me feeling post-“ick”tal© the next day.

I also need to talk to him about some cross polarizing lenses, and maybe even some some blue tinted ones, as well.  I’m feeling like I’m becoming more and more sensitive to light.  Not good when I have so many seizures that do affect my eyes.  There is some discussion that they may help with migraines, too.  Light has always been a problem for me.  I popped out of the womb with burgeoning photosensitivity!

I needed to cancel a meeting with School Dude, today.  I’m still sick.  Not that I mentioned this before, but I thought I had accidentally given myself a dose of food poisoning.  Perhaps, not.  I do wash my hands when I cook, and I did not take the frozen chicken out of its packaging and leave it sitting on the kitchen counter to defrost.  A bit of an annoying infection that’s got me? It’s a coming and going thing.  I feel fine for a bit and then not.  I’ve been like this since Saturday and he already knows about it.

Back on track and better tomorrow? I’m definitely not capable of much today! Gravol…Valium…  For the nth time: I hate my brain!


  1. May

    ACK! Sorry to hear about the crazy batshit fighting going on!

    I hear ya on the light thing. I’ve always been sensitive to light and sound that didn’t bother other people (like those big fluorescent lights that make that awful humming noise!). That’s why I’ve started carrying around a parasol when it’s sunny out here. I just can’t stand to be in direct sun for more than a second or two anymore. I can feel my skin cells burning and my eyes refuse to focus. No fun!

    Here’s hoping the rest of your day is much, much less stressful.


  2. Hi May. Yeah, that was SOME CRAZY SHIT! I think I’m kind of traumatized now and don’t want to go back to that place ever again. No, seriously!

    It’s interesting about Aspies and others on the Spectrum. We have so many sensitivities to different things. Sometimes it even works in reverse (e.g. pain thresholds–either really low or really high, olfactory–same thing–can smell, can’t smell.)

    My regular glasses have the fancy-pants, tint where the lenses just start to shade to basically sunglasses when I go outside. However, when out the other day…bright! I’m wondering if that feature of the lens and how it works isn’t working anymore but…?

    I still have contact lenses that I could start wearing and then go back to my old sunglasses? I like these frames, though! *rolls eyes*

    My day yesterday was spent in bed. I’m stupid sick with a virus. I didn’t even drink my tea as I was so tired and barfy. Then there was the Aspie-weird-sick thing…

    I have work to do, too. I’m going to start making tea now as maybe it will help? Or I’ll just stare at the walls and ceiling.


  3. May

    uh OH! Hope you’ll get back on your feet soon. One of my friends got the same kind of virus thing a few weeks ago and it took her completely out for 3 days but then she was ok. So hopefully yours will also pass quickly?



  4. Hi May. *hugs* Thanks, hon. I really am whacked. I haven’t even taken any Gravol yet, and I’m totally in outer space. This is similar to the last one I had? Whatever. Who cares.

    OMG. I can not stand being sick! Well, who likes it at all, but it drives me nuts! It’s like, all of my head crap has the potential to make me sick enough! Then, there’s Gastro Hell! I don’t want to even be bothered with “normal” sick.

    It’s like I’m fucking sick all the time!!! …whine…whine…whine… Well, too bad! I’m pissed off!


  5. May

    Sometimes I just have to giggle at what you say because it’s so like things I’ve said so many times! Like what you said in the second paragraph about being sick. Yup! I HATE being sick. That and feeling pointless and a billion other things that rub me the wrong way ;)

    It’s so odd to be around someone I’m so similar too :) I’m used to being “the only one” though my fiance (who is also a person with asperger’s) has been changing that for me the past few years.

    Anyway, here is a magic bean that will make you better:

    lol :)


  6. Hey May. *grins* Well, I’m always happy to provide laughs around here, so definitely glad to give you some giggles! I’m also glad that we can relate to each other.

    It is hard when you feel like you’re always saying stupid things and no one “gets you.” I’ve said before that talking to other Aspies can be great. We’re so blunt at times, we can just let it fly! Not that there still aren’t communication issues there, as well.

    Also, not like we can’t be so blunt with people who aren’t Aspies/on the Spectrum, and have other illnesses and disorders. Or hell, even NTs! It may just be a matter of getting to know the person–ME! Alright, that could stand to reason everywhere. Plus, I can’t vouch for what kind of experience getting to know me feels like for those people on the other end. *ponders briefly then gives up entirely*

    I still get myself into trouble all the time, though. I’m just starting to learn more about my new diagnosis of SISA (Supreme Idiot and Stupendous Arse) despite having it all my life!

    That’s great that your fiance is helping you out of your shell a bit. Absolutely!

    Thanks for the magic bean, too. However, a question. Since I’m not feeling so well and can’t eat right now, if I set it aside, will I wake up and find it’s turned into a huge stalk I have to climb? *laughing*


  7. May

    It’s only gonna grow into a stalk IF you plant it. So keep it out of dirt to retain potency. Lol ^_^


  8. Okay May. Thanks for clearing that up. I never was one of those kids that liked to play around in dirt and mud, so all should be good.


  9. Hi patientanonymous, thanks for coming back to your own post, and offering some more insight into your own insane brain!

    I just got off the phone with Non-Arsey Neuro and we both agreed that me being post-“ick”tal after having migraines and Asperger’s meltdowns is all about my neurons completely misfiring all over the goddamn place, even if there are no seizure manifestations!


    I’m going to toss this into a post anyway. It needs to be written up properly, but I started talking about it here.


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