I couldn’t believe what happened yesterday.  I still can’t! For the second time in three years, Merlin #2 and I had a fight about him prescribing me my meds! What the…? Holy…  Forget burning me in effigy.   Just toss me up there on the pole, doused in gasoline, and toss the match! And at a goddamn time like this??? When I have completely lost my mind???

See PA in crisis? See PA explode! Oh, no.  It was bad.  I was yelling at him, I was in bawling my eyes out.  At one point, he said to me: “Well, what do you want me to do?” I screamed back at him: I WANT YOU TO FUCKING HELP ME!!!

Now, it is not unusual for me to use profanity when speaking to Merlin #2.  In fact, I can swear in front of all my physicians.  They’re cool.  We’re all a laid back bunch.

I generally tend to let it fly mostly with Merlin #2.  That is because I get more pissed off because of my psych shit than anything else.  However, I never yell, cry and swear.  Hell, I never raise my voice with anyone! I don’t feel it necessary when in conflict.  May we please sit down and discuss this as mature adults? It needn’t get this far! In fact, I’ve never cried in front of Merlin #2, or any of the others, either.

Well, apparently and unfortunately, it bloody well did have to get that far, yesterday! I had spelled everything out for him but nothing was getting through! He kept saying (as that one time before) only Non-Arsey Neuro could prescribe and/or change my meds!

It’s too complicated to get into how I managed to find all of my team, but prior to that, I only had Arsey Neuro and Sweetie GP.  Since Arsey Neuro was so completely Arsey, Sweetie GP was there to cover me if he dropped the ball–which he so often did.  Thus, I yelled at Merlin #2, if he would not help me, I would run straight to Sweetie GP as she would!

I told him the entire point of this appt. was that things were getting worse–FAST! I could not hang on until my appt. with Non-Arsey Neuro, that was over a week away! That is why I was thankfully fit in within 24 hours! I was desperate!

There is so much additional that I am leaving out for brevity, but I would say we spent half our appt. or more, arguing with each other.  It was truly insane.

Finally, finally, he “decided” to go with what I had originally stated as the best option.  I burst out in tears again (out of more frustration, relief…probably both!) Still, at the top of my voice, I basically told him: “Thanks for actually listening, you nimrod! Why did I have to go through all of that, you asshole!”

Did he revert to some kind of “aboulomania?” I know he certainly wasn’t suffering from “doromania!” Actually, I think his problem was definitely “potichomania!” Yep, that one makes total sense.

Since this is pretty long already, I’m going to make another post about how the meds I had to fight so hard for are affecting me.  I’ve got lots of time (even if only a few brain cells.)  Not surprisingly, I’m bedridden.


  1. May

    Ouch! Sounds like an awful experience.

    Personally, I avoid doctors as much as possible because I also feel like they just don’t LISTEN TO THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH and it’s always so stressful and horrible. I always feel like less of a human after a doctor’s appointment.

    I’m glad he finally came around.

    (((BIG HUGS)))

    Like

  2. Hi May. Yes, it was pretty brutal, but the thing is, I have an amazing team. This stuff doesn’t happen! We all work together, and they know the amount of medical knowledge I have. We work in tandem. I just don’t know what the hell his problem was yesterday. He’s not like that. He writes my scripts for everything.

    I hear you re: doctors not listening and it being so awful. I have a post that I wrote a LONG time ago about having “Doctor Anxiety.” It even links back to a couple of other posts that are still sitting on my Blogger blog that I’ve kept alive!

    You might want to have a look at them all?

    But yes, I completely understand! Thanks, and hugs back.

    https://patientanonymous.wordpress.com/2007/01/11/doctor-anxiety-and-patients/

    Like




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